Opening the closing chapter of this 10-week-long series with a confession is an irresistible temptation. On Facebook, three weeks ago, I had innocently looked for what turned out to be real trouble. My invitation for fans to suggest topics, I should round off with, resulted in an unexpected downpour. At the last count, that thread had pulled 529 engagements -with scores of topics which left me totally and completely overwhelmed.
This space cannot today or in any single edition accommodate all the requests. In the circumstance, the best we can do is to treat as many as can be. Even then, each topic would mostly get a teaser -not the full dose. Thankfully, in our clime, half bread is better than none.
Starting with gossip, this 50-year-old believes the Bible position of not one perfect human being on earth is a function of God seeing gossip as a defining minus. Listen: big or small, black or white, rich or poor, tall or short, male or female, there’s not one person living or dead who never took part in gossip -one way or the other. Yes, everyone gossips. The difference though, is that some gossips are hypersmart: we know with whom and where to gossip safely.
Some of us, our spouse is our gossip partner. Some of you, your childhood friend is. Some of them, their mouth only runs when with confidant or mentor or mentee. Some of all others, gossip happens only with someone tested and trusted.
Whoever and whatever, to not be tagged a gossip, never run things with an enemy, never publicly, never in writing, never on telephone, and never to or with someone you are not eternally sure of. And, in this superdynamic world, you need to pray permanently that your gossip partner doesn’t tomorrow spill the beans -complete with pepper and salt and such other spicy condiments you didn’t add. With a frightening regularity lately in spouse turning against spouse, children rising against own parent(s) and besties transmogrifying into worsties, nobody is sure of anything, anymore. Therefore, do everything even when you can’t for the public to see you as tactful, classy and reserved -so that in the event of a former gossipmate wanting to spoil your name, the public will shout them down because of the you they think they know!
Stop laughing and concentrate, would you? In this business called life, wisdom is need number one: so, get it, use it, to enjoy life on all sides. Wisdom is at once a foundation, an enhancer, a rescuer, an alibi and a compass. By the way, never lampoon those accused of or shamed for being gossips, because they are one of us!
Which takes me to love, the most tricky aspect of life. Such sweet-something that guarantees nothing. Love can be hated, despised, dismissed, exploited, mocked, suspected, un(der)appreciated. Still, we (all of us, all of you, all of them, and all of the others) must love forever.
Another respondent suggested relationship, which in every ramification is all about love. A relationship in which at least one person has the commonsense called love would succeed against all odds. Love doesn’t crave drastic changes on own terms and within own time frame. Love allows own lifestyle and examples -not own mouth, not own face nor own body language- to do most of the talking, teaching, and correcting.
Yet another wanted my thoughts on focus, growth, consistency. The three belong together in a slightly different order. The trajectory of focus, consistency, growth is a surebanker talisman. It fits into every field of endeavour, every religion, every race, every culture and for every age.
On religion, I have learnt that if you don’t grow your spirit man you would be kicked around by impostor representatives of the Creator. God is and should remain a personal experience. Don’t allow them coax you to ever see the owner of heaven and earth and everything else as transactional or also capable of evil. Children of God should live free and happy and fearless 25 hours daily; with our spiritual antennae activated to detect deception and exploitation which is the objective of the other gospel itself betrayed by its unchristocentricity!
Now, let’s run to parenting, teaching and mentoring. In five decades, I have learnt that there are only a few real parents, teachers and mentors and even fewer true children, students and mentees. No better proof than the perfunctory passion and the abysmal failure that one finds across the divide. To fix the sorry state of things, we need urgently to recalibrate our value and reward system; as only thereafter would we take ourselves seriously.
Until then, we remain a joke -clearly taken too far. Nigeria needs models, not jokers. Also, someone wanted me to share what I have learnt about peace. You can here repeat everything said earlier on love.
People disrespect peaceable people. They take advantage of us. They entertain no iota of fear where and when peace holds court. They brag of war, never of peace because war is expensive while peace is so cheap even the weak ridicule it.
This is not about another peace. Just as another christ and another gospel, another peace is not the it because it doesn’t last long. Genuine peace comes from the heart, not the lips, and ought to be maintained at all costs. That way, the human society enjoys steadier progress, sweeter longevity, better relations, higher living standards and longer moments of good health.
As we close this series, please permit me to iterate one last time how grateful I am for life, family and the people I met in the course of 50 years. Although these takes are in no way exhaustive, it is hoped that they embody something for everyone. Finally, I want the world to join me in thanking President Muhammadu Buhari, Vice President Yemi Osinbajo (SAN) and Ministry of Information & Culture plus National Broadcasting Commission for the belated birthday twin gifts they sent to BUSH HOUSE NIGERIA and me penultimate month. The two presidential yeses are a befitting climax to 50, a smashing opening to 51.
God bless Nigeria!
Thursday is for my father
My elder brother, and new Head of House, Pastor Eddie Mike, has approved a week-long line-up of funeral activities for our father -Etubom (Elder) Michael Effiong Mbaba- aged 76.
Popularly called Chief Udo Iyaya, a successful fisherman and trader, the former president of Nigeria Union in Bekumu, Bamusso Sub Division, Ndian Division in Southwest Province of Republic of Cameroon who also doubled as Chief of Ekpene Ukim Quarters in that part of the Anglofrancophone Republic for many years, is survived by a huge clan.
Mourning house opened last Friday at home of the deceased in Ekpene Ukim, Uruan LGA, Akwa Ibom state.
Burial holds on Thursday, 11th November, 2021 at Ekpene Ukim (on the fringes of Victor Attah International Airport, Uyo)