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These perilous times are throwing things up fast. Some are weird. Others are outright strange. Yet, some others are outrageous. Sadly enough, all are competing for space in our gullible minds.
They know we are naïve. The reason they are dumping themselves on our innocent psyche. We have almost zero resistance.
That is our weakness. And they are exploiting this to the maximum. It’s taking huge tolls on us. They do not care a hoot. Whether we live or die, they care not. We are beginning to lose count. Yet, they won’t stop doing it to us.
They have found a new love in the dead. Stranger than fiction! That is one ugly throw-up of 2023. These presidential aspirants are on their ruthless march again. They call it “new normal.” We deride it as crazy abnormality.
We wonder aloud: How did they come across this queer brainwave? Who sold this bizarre idea to them? It’s clearly laced with sinister motives. We stand to be faulted.
Help! Our aspirants are going berserk. It is real. They are desperately taking their consultations to the absurd. The race is speedily becoming odd and eerie at the same time.
They are turning burial grounds to campaign grounds. And they strive hard to outdo one another. This is turning to a rat race. We have been wickedly taken for a chessboard. We are at their beck and call.
This bunch of presidential aspirants! They are queer. They have come one more time. They are ravaging, finding the sordid attractive. They are literally consulting the dead on their dreadful aspiration. How this will help their ambition remains a mystery.
In their warped calculation, they are abandoning the living for the dead. That is twisted thinking. This is amazing and amusing. They have taken new roles upon themselves.
They imposed themselves on the bereaved. They are gradually taking over from the families of the dead. They opted to be chief mourners and undertakers, without prompting. It is also without any cost to the grieving. Trust them, they are doing it with all the strength they can muster.
Yes. It’s human to console the deprived. And the loved ones left behind by the deceased. Africans particularly cherish and appreciate that. It is a societal value of ours. Not to do so is un-African. And that is where it ultimately ends. It should never be done brazenly and ridiculously.That is why we are being taken aback by the turn of events. These desperados called presidential aspirants are our undoing. They are eagerly changing the narratives for the wrong reasons.
They thought they were wiser. They are making condolence visits their utmost priority. Oh, they goof. They are missing and mixing the vital points.
The 2023 polls are not about the dead, but we the living. It is about us and us alone. Our welfare is involved, not the dead. So? Let the lamenting bury their dead peacefully.
It is puzzling the manner these presidential aspirants prefer to conduct the business of consultation. They shamelessly take us for a rude and crude ride.
One tragic feature remains constant. They unleash themselves on their unwilling hosts, not minding their plight. They move unabashedly in large convoys. They hijack the event and steal the show.
It’s usually carnival-like. They pretend to be more bereaved than the bereaved. And they leave the depressed families with more sorrow and no comfort.
Their feigned words to encourage leave much to be desired. They are heavy with political undertones. They never soothe, calm or pacify.
Even before they unloose their sugar-coated tongues, they are exposed. They are sold out by their very own mouths. That is the fake, deceitful life they know how to live the best. Theirs is #Yeyenatu #Loriiro.
In this highbrow class, Bola Ahmed Tinubu (BAT) blazed the trail. Glaringly, that makes him to be at the forefront. He performed the feat in a jiffy. He is yet to be equalled.
He did the kick-off in Ibadan, the traditional epicentre of politics in Yorubaland. It was a deliberate strategy. Then to Ogbomoso, all in Oyo State. He later ended up in Minna, Niger State.
He started the “condolence visit” on that Saturday. He told his host, Governor Seyi Makinde: “It was only last (Friday) night that I thought of coming here and we are here today.
“Having lost a former governor of this state (Otunba Christopher Adebayo Alao-Akala), the Olubadan of Ibadanland (Oba Saliu Akanmu Adetunji) and Soun of Ogbomoso (Oba Jimoh Oyewumi), it is just for us to go back to the sense of value of people and their lives.”
Soun, 95, joined his ancestors on December 12, 2021. Olubadan, 93, followed suit on January 2, 2022. Alao-Akala, 71, died on January 12, 2022.
He went to Oba Adetunji’s Popoyemoja Palace to sympathise with the bereaved. It was not lost on him to also condole with Senator Rashidi Adewolu Ladoja. It’s for dual reasons. Ladoja is a former governor. He is also Osi Olubadan, High Chief and member, Olubadan-in-Council.
The political face of the visit could not be hidden in Ogbomoso. It turned out a pure political outing. And that was what it was intended to be. He was in Alao-Akala’s to encourage his family. He moved to the Soun’s Palace to perform the same ritual.
Having pocketed his home front, as it were, he was comfortable to extend his luck across the Niger. The unending killings in Niger State provided the needed opportunity. And he made use of it to the maximum.
He informed Governor Abubakar Sani Bello, his chief host: “We share in your grief. I am here for the people of Niger State. Hearing and reading of disasters, banditry and cattle rustling every day, just like what happened on Wednesday again.”
In Minna, Tinubu went the extra mile. He dipped his hand into his deep pockets. And the result: A N50 million largess for the victims of terrorism in the state. It was a windfall of no small means.
BAT was no stranger to this. He was quite at home. He showcased the same wonder last year in the same North. He gave exactly the same amount to victims of fire outbreak at the Central Market, Katsina, Katsina State.
He elected to close his eyes and mind to the “ranting” of his kinsmen. They were the victims of Sasa Market crisis, Ibadan and Ijesha Market fire incident in Lagos. He simply chose to ignore them. He abandoned them in the cold to lick their wounds all by themselves.
That notwithstanding, another presidential aspirant picked a useful lesson from BAT. He won’t be deterred by Tinubu’s attitude to his own kinsmen.
Former Senate President Bukola Saraki was on his trail. He was watching, monitoring and tracking him. He patiently took some notes. And he found them to be very helpful.
Tinubu’s exploits greatly spurred him on. As a presidential aspirant, he joined the bunch of undertakers: The emerging species of chief mourners.
He grabbed the next opportunity that came his way.
He could not match Tinubu’s audacity. All the same, he struggled hard to do something close to it. He could only send a delegation to sympathise with the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), Kwara State. It lost its chairman, Bishop Paul Olawoore.
Gbenga Makanjuola, Saraki’s former Deputy Chief of Staff, led the team: “Our leader (Saraki) would have loved to be here today to commiserate in person with the CAN family on the loss of a great man who dedicated his life to the service of his Maker.”
For these aspirants, the trend is the new normal. They err. They are unduly exploiting the loophole. They savagely abuse that window of opportunity; turning it upside down.
Let them be told. We are not stupid. We know their intention. It is neither for the living nor the dead. It’s a ploy to deceive. Their care is never for us. It is strictly for them alone.
They will go to any length to get what they want. The reason they are craving hard to secure our votes. And that can be achieved by any means possible.
Even by becoming chief mourners and undertakers. They are reckless and heartless about it. The end justifies the means. With them, the means will never justify the end.
They are willingly ready to go down low. Yes, with cap in hand begging. It’s no big deal. They will do our bidding now without blinking an eye.
They know where they are going and how to get there. This time around, we won’t only open our blind eye. But we will shine it well, well.
We need to study these wolves in human clothing. Their body language, actions and inactions must come under serious scrutiny. We insist, the affliction of the present must end in 2023. Never to be visited on us again.
We must not be carried away by sentiments and semantics. Time it is to discuss real issues, our strengths, weaknesses, capabilities, capacities, et al.
Let’s agree to jettison the mundane. We ought to identify what we actually want and desire. Let us urgently locate our priorities.
We need to be in charge. We need to dictate the tune. We must not allow these ravens in the cloak of aspirants to take us by the jugular again. Now is not the time to relax and relapse.
How are we going to spend the years ahead? It depends largely on how we handle these ferocious politicians. We must cage them. They must not hold us captive. Not anymore.
That is the decision we need to take even now. No grandstanding. No frivolities. No trivialities. All these will not do us any good this time around.
So, when bereaved next time, consult them to your monumental peril. These weird undertakers? They do it beautifully and politically too. What’s more, it’s for free, not even a token.
If you do, you would regret you did.
