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Whether women want to accept it or not, many men compare their’s with those they meet on the streets, in the office, in church and during business trips. Their eyes just can’t stop seeing things. And these men love seeing soft and beautiful things.
The steady gazes, the silent wishes, the racing thoughts, the mischievous daydreams as well as the twitching fingers and rods, men are never satisfied with one woman. You see them stealing glances when they see beautiful women, even when their wives are beside them.
Some of them tell other women that they wished they had met them first and married them instead of the women they ended up with. I don’t know how they would feel if they heard their wives talk about them the same way to the opposite sex. I doubt they can handle it.
That is when they will start threatening the woman with sending her packing, while hiding behind the almighty culture and tradition. Others will start quoting the Bible, like a demon was pursuing them in their dreams. They can dish it, but they can’t take it.
These days, men keep running after women who look better than their wives. They go after women who have what their wives are lacking instead of helping their wives be the women they want them to be.
The painful part is that some of these men even tell their women to their faces that they prefer other women to them. I don’t even want to imagine how heartbreaking it would be for these women who feel reduced by their husbands.
I pity women who are in marriages where their men keep comparing them with their many love interests. From year to year, these women don’t have rest. They feel inadequate, incomplete and jumpy because they keep trying to catch up with the women their husbands are running after like children chasing after their favourite candy.
I don’t think it is right for someone to keep fuelling the feelings of insecurity in another person, especially one to whom they have pledged love and fidelity. Marriage should be sweet and memorable, not filled with pains, heartaches and regrets. I am not saying there’s a perfect marriage, but I am an advocate of two people making efforts to make their relationship work.
Do you know what your wife’s dreams are? Do you care? You should. She needs you to support her in her life. She doesn’t want to be thought of as a second-class citizen. When you find out what she cares about, encourage her to go do it. If she feels like you won’t let her, she will end up resenting you down the road.
If your woman can’t trust you with her plans to improve her life and better her future, you are a failure. Forget all your talks about being the head and being the man, you have failed in making the closest person to you better than you met her.
A good man will never discourage his woman or make her feel as though she can’t do the things she set out to do. He will be beside her every step of the way, cheering on her victories and comforting her during her defeats. That is what it means to a partner. You don’t keep putting her down, because you don’t want her to be more successful than you and expect your relationship to be smooth.
When you spend your time hanging out with men who badmouth their wives, you will find it hard to value your woman. You don’t need that. Find guys who love their wives, and can encourage you to keep getting better as a husband, and as a man.
It won’t make you less of a man to speak kindly of your wife to others. No woman loves being with a man who brings her down before outsiders. If you keep exposing her weakness and inadequacies to outsiders, they will end up disrespecting her and ultimately disrespect you too.
Many men find it hard to compliment their wives. What these men don’t understand is that making their wives feel beautiful does not just mean saying the words to them, it means truly making them feel beautiful. When she puts in efforts into her appearance, compliment her, touch her, hug her and kiss her. Learn to boost your wife’s self esteem.
Many women don’t feel safe around their husbands and this is not right. One of the best compliments a woman can give a man is telling him that she feels safe around him. Regardless of how much money you have, if a woman cannot sleep soundly by your side at night, nothing else matters.
Dear Nigerian men, leave other women alone and focus on your wives. If she doesn’t meet your specs and expectations, why did you marry her in the first place? You need to stop drooling over women who look better than your wives. Go and beautify your wives.
Stop salivating over women who have been empowered by their men to take on the world.
Go back home and nurture your wife. Help her grow. Help her discover her gifts. Help her nurture and utilize her talents. Allow her express her true self to the world.
You can’t be stifling your woman’s gifts and expect her to be the women you meet in the course of your job. Those women are being supported and cheered by their men. You can’t confine her to the role of cook, cleaner and child minder and expect her to help you build your company. You won’t even entertain her suggestions.
What you give is what you get, don’t forget that. You can’t keep criticizing her poor choices to everyone you meet. You are one of her choices, remember. Words are powerful and women thrive on positive affirmations. The words you speak to your woman can either reduce her or strengthen her to do better.
If you want her to do better, be her cheer leader. Polish her rustiness. Stop putting her down. Encourage her to start a new business. Cheer for her when she rises up the ladder in her career. Those women who catch your fancy outside are not different from your wife.
The grass may appear green on the other side, but when you get close, you might discover it is not real. The grass is green where you water it. Water your woman and release her to be all she can be. You both will be happier for it.
