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An unbeliever believes that God is far away in Heaven, preoccupied with His daily schedules, unmindful of what goes on in the world. This explains why the unbeliever does what he wants in the way and manner that pleases him most. The child of God behaves differently. He knows that God, his father, is deeply interested in everything that concerns him. This includes the choice of a career, future spouse, etc.
The unbeliever has no problem concerning whom to marry. To him, it is a game of chance. If he is fortunate, in his language, ‘lucky’, he will get a good spouse, but if his spouse does not meet his expectations, there is somebody, somewhere, to replace her. He has no guarantee that the new spouse will also meet his perceived expectations. If she does not, the union is weakened or once again broken, and as would be expected, someone, somewhere, is ready to fill the gap. The newcomer may not even care to consider his marriage history until the tie is either broken or there is estrangement between them. In each of the marriages, children might be born. This is why in a family, you can see four children of the same father but different mothers, or four children of the same mother but different fathers.
This situation would have been avoided if God had been brought into the marriage. He reveals our life partners if allowed to do so. “If you ask anything in My name,” the Lord Jesus told His disciples, “I will do it.” Nothing is exempted from the package. If we want Him to reveal to us our life partners, He will do so, provided that we have a personal relationship with Him. The problem with some believers is that, while making the prayer, their minds are already made up about whom to marry. Their prayer is for God to rubberstamp their choice. He keeps quiet, and they accuse Him then of not answering prayers. If we are sincere in our prayers, leaving everything in His hands, He will answer. We must appreciate the fact that seeking His guidance is not doing Him any favour. It is absolutely for our own good.
After God has revealed the life partner to someone, communicating it to the partner-to-be is a lot easier for men than for ladies. The man will approach the sister and make his proposal. The sister will usually ask him how he knows that she is God’s choice for him. He will share the testimony with her. In my case, it was through a dream when I was doing a vacation job at Aba in 1973. That was a year before my graduation. It was a tall journey for me since I had wanted to sleep with the lady before I was born again. I kept the revelation to myself for 15 months. It was uppermost in my mind to marry by the will of God, who knows my future. I knew, therefore, that I needed Him.
Thank God that tribal bias had never been in me. The person I regard as my brother or sister is a child of God, no matter his tribe of origin. Sister Ify, I gave my proposal, spent 18 months before acceptance as if she was paying me back with my coin for delaying also for 15 months.
During that waiting period for her, I nearly goofed. In one of my letters to a beloved Christian sister from Ilorin, I wrote, “Sister, are you engaged?” God told me that I was prostituting by asking her that question, that if I trusted Him and the revelation concerning Sister Ify, I should wait until I heard from her. I apologised to Him and deleted that offending paragraph in the letter. After my engagement, I informed her and then asked her if she was engaged. Her response was negative. If I had not deleted that paragraph, she would have had the impression that I wanted to marry her!
In the case of sisters, it is not as easy as it is with men. They try to avoid being misunderstood. A few ladies have gone to brothers and laid the card on the table. The men could not accept that. One of the men went to the extreme of warning the lady never to enter his office again.
In another case, the sister kept the revelation to herself for two long years, praying over it. One day, she went to a house occupied by God’s children, discussing with each family. She mustered the courage to knock at the door of the brother God had revealed to her would marry her. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see her. Then and there, God told him that she was his wife and that he should propose to her. “If I propose to her now,” he told God, “and she says that she will pray about it, the matter will be closed forever.” That was his true nature, a nice and dedicated brother, but one who would hardly smile. After exchanging pleasantries, he made his proposal and was surprised when, as if the lady was aware of his deal with God, she accepted on the spot. It was when they attended my couples’ retreat that the sister shared this testimony with us while our brother was laughing. They are happy in their marriage and now live in England.
In another case, a sister was watching television and she saw somebody outside the screen. It was a brother she would not have anything to deal with ordinarily. While she was from a royal family, the man was from a humble home. While she was a student at the university, the man still needed some papers to qualify for admission. While God was very benevolent in making her beautiful, our brother was her opposite. What was common to them was their Christian faith. God told her clearly that the man was her husband. She was angry, very angry. “If this man opens his mouth to tell me anything about marriage, I will pour my anger on him,” she told herself. Within split seconds, she heard a knock at the door. A boy gave her a proposal letter for marriage from that brother. I gave the vote of thanks during their wedding!
There are some sisters and brothers we may be praying for today so that God will show them their future life partners. Some of them may not confess the whole truth to us, so that we will know how to present their case to God. The only thing we can do in their situation may be to plead with God for mercy. These may be people God had revealed their life partners many years ago, but who refused to accept His choice for them. These carnal considerations hinge on the person’s education, physical build, economic considerations, position the person holds in office or business, etc.
The tribe of origin is also considered, as if anybody chose his or her tribe before birth! In that situation, someone might have taken the spouses God had given them. It is only His mercy and that alone that can change the situation now.
For further comment, Please contact: Osondu Anyalechi:
0909 041 9057; [email protected]
