Follow Us on Google
I was on a phone with a friend I haven’t seen nor spoken with for many years after our University days. After exchanging pleasantries, he asked if I was in touch with some mutual friends back then on campus.
For those I was in touch with, I updated him on their progress and also cheerfully announced to him that his ex . . . is now a Doctorate degree holder. “Boy! Your girl is now a PhD holder” I said.
He almost lost his voice even though he was able to say something and what he said was the dumbest thing ever.
“What! Omoh!! No be that chick wey person knack tire, babe wey pursue me up and down, calling and asking all my friends to help talk to me unto say I dey do am anyhow?”
I couldn’t believe my ears. Excuse me sir, I said. How does dating a girl and having consensual sex with her depreciate her value and drive in life? You both were in a relationship, you had fun together, she wanted more of love and commitment but you wanted more women.
She moved on when she realized it was finally over, channeled all the energy and emotions into her studies, went for the kill, earned herself an enviable degree at young age, works with a multinational, yet you think that the relationship you both had in the past has a hold on her or who she becomes? What a faulty mentality.
A lot of men who are ‘never-do-wells’ with self esteem issues think this way. How can a woman they left heart broken look healthier, happier, busy making a lot of progress in life, making headlines, instead of that hollow, heartbroken, immobile, bitter and depressed woman they left years ago?
So, they play the sex card and how she was begging them not to leave in a ‘see finish’ tone just to massage their ego. These are men whose honor, pride and self esteem is in a woman’s vagina. How else would you have me describe them?
Insecure men lack deep understanding always think lowly of their exes successes. They will try to water down these women’s achievements with reference to their past sexual relationship just to feel high.
If your ex is now a billionaire, married to one or has made a name for herself, it does not give you any right to say demeaning stuff about her just to feel better about yourself. That’s your low self esteem speaking.
That same girl who was chasing you around because she invested her heart, soul, time and energy in your relationship, and was devastated and depressed when you left, may even look at you now in utter disgust. Yes! she possibly may be wondering what she saw in you then. Many accomplished women look back in disbelief at the riff raffs they once dated, even cried and begged to stay.
If your ex is succeeding in life, do not even allow that spirit that only thinks with the ‘thing’ dangling between your legs take over your reasoning and tongue. You should be proud that they are doing very well rather than hide behind your low self esteem to spew nonsense. There is a level of regard and respect you should give to who ever scales the barriers to reach certain levels in life.
Relationships whether platonic or romantic is one of the most powerful destiny changer. Relationship opens doors and closes them. It can keep people alive or kill too. That you are educated does not guarantee you 100% success in life, the relationship you keep can take your destiny to a whole new level.
If run into your ex, be it an accidental encounter or even pre-planned, will you feel safe? Let me rephrase. If your ex becomes the President, Governor or even your boss, will you feel safe? If the answer is in the negative, then you need a mental and emotional adjustment.
You do not conquer a woman because you had sex with her, neither does it mean she’s cheap, you both saw each other’s nakedness, enjoyed it all the while the relationship lasted. Your kiss-and-tell spirit should never take center stage when her successes are mentioned in the future.
I believe the higher you go in life, the better your reasoning, the better you should reason, the better you speak and act. So if you find yourself bringing up mundane stuff such as a woman’s past sexual relationship with you just to feel high because she’s succeeding, then you are a narcissist and not a good person. You have self-esteem issues.
Ladies, that a man delivers master strokes in bed does not mean you should cry, fight and beg him to stay even when he’s obviously unfaithful and wants out. You must understand the lingo and tactics of narcissists, entitled men, emotional scammers, bullies and fuckboys. Stop losing your heads over gold diggers because you will end up making them look or feel more than they are truly worth.
These are men who believe sex conquers a woman, so no matter your achievements in life as their ex, the sex you had with them many years ago and how you cried and begged them to stay when they called it quit trumps it all for them. That’s their only bragging right in a world where good people with good heads are breaking records.
A good man would be glad to see a woman he has had close relationship with progress. A good man is one that dates and closes relationships neatly. He’s not one who goes for every woman he sees and in the process keeps offending women.
You must know who is worth your time, love, affection and staying power. If he’s messed up, it is best you channel your energy into your passion and become successful. Success is always the best revenge. But always remember that success is not about peppering anybody, it’s about finding fulfilment and making the most out of your life.
