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I want to believe that you must have read or heard about First Lady, Aisha Buhari’s plan to establish a private university to be known as Muhammadu Buhari University (MBU). She revealed this secret last Saturday during a town hall meeting in Yola, organised by her, in association with concern indigenes of Adamawa, her home state. Aisha who did not say when or where the university would be sited, however, made it known that it would be established, in collaboration with partners from Sudan and Qatar.
Brothers and Sisters in Crisis, I don port o (apology to Hafiz Oyetoro). As you read this, I am beside myself, as our Bukuru (book?), people, would say, with joy. And, joy, wherever it is or coming from, I believe, is beside itself with me. In fact, I have instructed the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB) not to release my Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examinations (UTME) score for this year’s exam yet to my earlier universities of choice. With this article, I signify my intention to make a change. I am now in Muhammadu Buhari University (MBU). I mean, I want to be the first student to be admit- ted into the university.
In the part of Igbo land I come from, we call it ONYE MBU (the first). So? With this revelation from Aisha, our Mummy Nigeria (I want to earnestly plead, my knees on the ground, with title/honorifics-crazy Nigerians to make this the first title before “Mummy GO/Israel/General”), Onye MBU could mean “the first,” or student/ staff of Muhammadu Buhari University (MBU) So? From whichever angle you look at the issue, insha Allah, I am ONYE MBU.
And, come to think of it, if people should be honest for once, with themselves, and tell them- selves the truth and nothing but the truth, I should be the first student to report on the campus of the university. Or, have you read anywhere since the public announcement that any student anywhere, from the South West, South East, South South, North Central, North East or North West is angling to be admitted into the university? So? If I am the first to indicate so, why don’t you be honest with yourself and say so: that I am, truly, the first, even if you have to say it the First Bank way.
But, Brothers and Sisters in Crisis, please, for the sake of peace, progress and prosperity, don’t ask me the course I want to read or pursue there. Ok, I change my mind. Bring your ears closer and let me whisper into them the course I intend to read. But, first, promise me that you won’t tell anybody o. Do you promise? I can’t see or hear you from here, but have you brought your ears nearer to my mouth? You have? Ok, take it from me: I want to read criminology and security studies. Did you hear what I said? No, you got me wrong. I didn’t say I want to be a criminal. I said I want to read criminology and security studies.
What other course do you think we should be talking about in the life of our nation, at this time, if not criminology and security studies? Yes. That’s what I want to study. With all the mass or massive killings going in Nasarawa, Benue, Taraba, Kaduna, Adamawa, Plateau and Borno states, I don’t know any other course of study that is more relevant at this time than criminology and security studies.
For now in Nigeria, only universities like Bayero University, Kano (BUK), Caleb University, Imota, Lagos State, Federal University, Dutse, Jigawa State, University of Ilorin, Ilorin, Uni- versity of Jos, Chrisland University, Owode, Ogun State, Nigerian Police Academy (POLAC), Wudil, Kano State, Adekunle Ajasin University, Akungba-Akoko, Ondo State, Achievers University, Owo, Ondo State, Arthur Jarvis University, Akpabuyo, Cross River State, Atiba University, Oyo, Coal City University, Enugu, Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu University, Uli, Anambra State, Crawford University, Igbesa, Ogun State,
Alex Ekwueme Federal University, Ndufu-Alike, Ebonyi State, Federal University Oye-Ekiti, Ekiti State, Kaduna State University, Kaduna, Kwa- rarafa University, Wukari, Taraba State, Lead City University, Ibadan, Nigerian Army University, Biu, Borno State, National Open University of Nigeria (NOUN), Novena University, Delta State, and Western Delta University, Oghara, Delta State are offering the course.
But I want to plead with JAMB to forget about admitting any candidate into any other course this year, other than criminology and security studies. And, if your university does not have any such department, go and create one, willy-nilly, this year. Oh yes, we need it. They say about 1.8 million candidates sat for the CBT (Computer Based Test this year? Ah, I would suggest that that they be given admission to read criminology and security studies. All, with no exception!
Forget about admitting any candidate to read any other course – Theatre Arts o, surgery and medicine o, mechanical engineering o, piloting o, driving o, aeronautic engineering o, mechatronic engineering o, accountancy o, English o, Literature in English, o, Drama o, Law o, Busy Admin o (Business Administration?), History and International Relations o, philosophy o, political science o, agricultural science o, computer studies o, mathematics o, algebra o, trigonometry o, geometry o, geology o, pharmacy o, soil science o, library science o, forestry studies o, etc.
Criminology and security studies is it! Come to think of it, what if you are engaged in these use- less studies and some criminals somewhere come to greet you with AK-47 or Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs), tell me, just whisper your answer into my ears, let me hear you, right now, would you be alive to respond to their greetings? You can see why I want every candidate that applied for JAMB this year to be given admission to read criminology and security studies. No post-UTME. No screening. No school fees. No registration fee. No admission fee. No Students Affairs fee. Just give all the 1.8 million candidates mass admission. Se, e getie? (Yoruba for: do you get my point?). Condition owan critical (Condition of things is critical), as we prepare to enter the Next Level.
