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If you find yourself having a good time at a party and someone comes along who catches your fancy and after you talk for a while, they reveal that they would like to go out with you sometime, you are likely to say yes.
The good thing is that you are already off to a great start with them but you know that you need to look out for some things before you agree to date this person.
Some questions you should ask yourself are: How do you know when this new person is someone worth your time? How can you tell when they are better left at that party?
If you know someone in real life, through other people, it’s easier to know what they are like before you say yes to a date. But it can get even trickier when you are dating online.
Some guys and ladies told Effects what they look for in new dates:
Lydia: I look out for his level of seriousness
Before I agree to go out on a date with a guy, I look out for his level of seriousness. I am in my late 20s and I don’t have time for boys who just want to play around. I am looking for a man who will commit to me and our relationship.
Even if I am not looking for something long-term, I am in search of someone who has some good dating staying power, and I look out for how serious he is about getting to know me.
As a hardworking young lady, I want a partner who is interested in more than sex. I want someone who wants to know as much about me as I want to know about him. It should be reciprocal, not one-sided. If my date is just saying flattering things about my looks, body and lips, he may not be serious about dating.
Alex: I look out for her communication skills or lack of it
Before I go on a date with any woman, I try to find out if she is consistent and reliable in her communication and attention to me.
I try to find out if she makes time for contact, or does she leave me wondering when I am going to hear from her again. I do this because if a woman plays games before or while you are dating, she may be unable to consistently meet my emotional needs later.
Someone who demonstrates consistency early on is much more likely to be supportive and attentive in the relationship as well. Although no one needs to be at your beck and call in the beginning, it’s not cool to wait 24 hours to respond to a simple text message.
Cynthia: A man’s level of effort determines my decision afterwards
When a man doesn’t really want to do much work to make a date happen, you will know as a woman. If he tells you upfront that he has no interest in meeting you near where you live, don’t bother with him and his date.
If you have to put in all of the effort in the beginning, imagine what is to come if he doesn’t reciprocate your efforts. My number one rule while getting to know a man is not to start what I cannot finish. If he wants me to be chasing him because he feels like a very important person, I show him the door.
Feyi: It’s not a bad idea to do a quick Google search
Before I commit to a date, I run a quick Google check and make sure I haven’t started seeing a convicted felon as far as Google can tell.
I do this whenever a guy I meet at a party asks me out. I rush to Google or their social media accounts to find out as much as I can about the person. I don’t want to end up with a gold digger or a man who believes that women are inferior and are to be treated like slaves. My life is precious to me and I am not in a hurry to be in a relationship.
Alex: I look at how my date treats the waiter
Some ladies have nasty attitude towards waiters and attendants. Whenever I go on a date with a new girl, I look at how she treats the waiter or security man. I also take note of how she talks about other people, especially less privileged people.
I don’t expect her to be best friends with them but I do expect a certain amount of courtesy and respect towards the servers. Simple things like saying “thank you” and not interrupting or being condescending towards our servers impress me.
Afolabi: I look out for how often she uses her phone
In general, I would not use my phone on a date unless I wanted to show my date something amusing or thought-provoking on my phone that is pertinent to our discussion. To me, not using one’s phone on a date is a sign of respect because you are respecting the person in front of you enough to give them your undivided attention.
Therefore, when my date uses her phone, especially frequently while we are getting to know each other, she is implying a lack of interest towards me and that is a huge put off for me.
Ifeanyi: I zone out if my date constantly interrupts me
If I am speaking to a lady I am on a date with and she never lets me finish my thoughts or even a sentence without interrupting and bombarding me with her own ideas, then I would find that disrespectful.
As a guy, respect means a lot to me. I love respectful women who let men lead the way in everything including discussions. If you have something to say then let the man finish first and then say what you want to say.
Theodora: I look for a connection
There needs to be something about this person that appeals to me. Not in a romantic or sexual way, but just in a friendly way. I do believe that friendship is a very important foundation for a relationship. So, I need to know that there is something that binds us together. Maybe it’s a love for books, or TV shows or even sports. If a man is not appealing to me, we won’t have a good time together and there will be no point going further with him.
Chinasa: I look for intention in new dates
Does this guy want to have sex and bail? That is fine, if that is my thing; but is it okay with me if it is not my thing?
When meeting a new date, I look out for things like where are we going, what time are we meeting, how long are we going to be hanging out. This usually gives me a good insight into the person. Then I can determine if I have a connection with him or not.
Responding to everything with “k” or “oh” also puts me off when I am on a date with a new guy. That’s really not cool. If a man is not interested in what I have to say, then he should tell me and save us both the time.
