In life’s journey, most people take some serious issues for granted. Probably out of carelessness, pride or ego. Some also choose to dwell on the silent part of the story, perhaps to let peace reign. But that ordinary silence might become a lie after all.
To some extent, there are reasons why so many wrong silences might be considered a big lie. If only the perpetrators know the consequences of such silence. What do I mean? There is a silence that needs to be broken to save the rainy day. When it is done, the network of problems will have been dismantled and all involved will be free from blame. If not, when the bubble bursts, it might be a very difficult situation to manage.
Now, it has been ascertained that a whole lot goes through the minds of people individually. It might also be a shock that a couple could be on the same bed doing their thing, yet their minds will be working separately just like it happened between Jude Ikesi and his wife Josephine. When they tied the nut in 2007 in a registry located in Lagos state. Little did his family know that the house they lived in as a couple was Josephine’s gift from her beloved father. Joe-Joe has always been a Daddy’s girl from birth. According to her, she was a womb opener; her birth climaxed with Daddy’s mega business growth. Jude was told the whole story and saw all documents; kept quiet and never opened up to his family and friends. His family simply assumed he was the owner of the property. After twelve years of peaceful marital bliss, Jude suddenly died in a ghastly motor accident. Then his family swung into action ready to quit Josephine and her children from the house. Josephine was about to lose her landmark property, willed to her as a first birthday gift from her father. She told the story herself.
“When Jude and I met as undergraduates, we were not serious, but friends in the same department. But after many years, our paths crossed at a vehicle licensing office and we took it up from there almost immediately. In school then, he was not a popular student, but he was just there.
Then, over time, with education, maturity and life opportunities, Jude became a sought-after guy. Within two years of knowing him again, he proposed marriage to me which I accepted. My wedding was my family pride and my father celebrated us with a willed six-bedroom duplex to me, not us in the city where we lived. Though it was tough convincing Jude for us to move into the house. He finally agreed on the condition that I mention to no one that the house belonged to me. We lived in it for 12 years before Jude’s passing to glory through a fatal accident. Upon his death, his family asked for the documents to the house and I queried their decision which led us all to the court. It was during the proceedings that I presented the full documents with facts and dates. Yet, in-laws asked why their own did not confide in them. Honestly, there is a silence that is a lie. If Jude had opened up to his own family about the true situation of the house, possession and ownership, there would not have been any need for the embarrassment and hassles of court cases. His silence over the house was a lie.
Honestly, looking at some family, relationship and societal issues, one would agree that there are some forms of keeping sealed lips that are a lie. Some of these closed mouths are nearly heartbroken when the lie finally comes into the open. Now, imagine this story as told by a friend. “I am close to the Uwem family from the South-south region of the country. The four children lost their parents to a midnight inferno. The eldest child was Emem,16, who just finished secondary school. She swore that her siblings Edem, Ufaa and Ekamma must go to school as planned despite the death of their parents. With the meagre business left by their mother, coupled with honest sympathizers who guided them; they were able to pull through. But Emem was a whole pillar of support, usually of the first daughters. She took the bull by the horns and her younger ones pursued their academics with vigor and succeeded. Edem saw part of the light and jumped into an unplanned marriage and both did not have much to offer themselves. Therefore, they had to fall back on the big sister cash cow who out of benevolence would not abandon them. She pays their major bills to Edem’s knowledge and he would never acknowledge that his big sister was doing a fantastic job. Edem would not inform his family about the good deeds of his family. Rather, at any given opportunity, Edem’s wife would take her sister-in-law to the gutters without knowing her efforts. There is a silence that is a lie. If only Edem would open up to his wife that his sister was behind their financial success; some of the insolence would reduce drastically. This silence is a lie.
Furthermore, in agreement with the clause of silence that is a lie, Samuel was the least welder but was most perfect. Whenever the recommendation meeting arises, his senior welder would take all the glory without acknowledging the young chap and other junior colleagues behind the department’s success.
When a person keeps silent to protect himself or herself when others are pulled down and berated points to the fact that silence means lie. Just like what happened in Joseph’s family where hell was let loose after the burial of their 90-year-old mother. During the preparation and execution of the burial, there was the normal compulsory family meeting to achieve an excellent event. The main focus of the meeting was raising funds to take care of all they needed. They earmarked a bill of N10m for the burial. Sunny, the youngest brother magnanimously coughed out N6m against the N10m earmarked for the burial. Yet, his wife and children were treated shabbily by the most senior wife in the family house. Concerned people were of the fact that if the oldest of the Joseph family who convened the meeting had opened up and asked other family members to appreciate Sunny for his generous approach towards their mother’s burial, his brother would not have felt as sad as he felt seeing his family being maltreated.
Again, how do we contain the fact that most ladies pay a token to borrow very expensive fashionable luxury pieces to look glamorous at events? Items like big luxury cars, 20 units of bone-straight hair, very stylish and expensive clothes, shoes, bags and jewelries keep sealed lips to it. This sort of borrowing is to give an affluent position, intimidate others and keep up with that societal movers-and-shakers levels. Meanwhile there is a silence that is a lie about one’s all glamorous event. When such a borrower walks into the event, she turns head around, meanwhile there is a silence to her up-to-date glamourous look. Even as friends are acknowledging their great looks, within them, they know there is a silence that is a lie.
To recognize such borrowers at occasions, such ladies are so careful knowing their stylish look is as a result of borrowing. They would eat carefully without staining the rented outfits. Tread softly and only walk where there is glitz and glamour; they would never reveal the secret of their good and expensive looks. Truth be told is that there is a secret that is a lie. All arrant nonsense!
To this end, so many insignificant women who do not know the source of the fashion pieces would strangle their husbands and boyfriends for not keeping up with them. Avoid that silence that is a lie.
Dear Nigerians, in a bid to avoid that silence that is a lie, also know that failure to acknowledge help rendered to you, be it in financial, advice, counsel, mentoring, networking and studying is a sign of poor conduct and proof that there is a silence that is a lie.