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By Job Osazuwa
It was recently reported that 237 vibrators were allegedly recovered at the National Youth Service Corp (NYSC) camp in one of the South South states. The discovery showed how popular sex toys have become in the country.
Indeed, the quest for Nigerians to get satisfied in bed has led to incredible ways to fill any vacuum that might have or may hamper their performance and pleasure.
Publicly and in private and among men and women, there have been debates over the ideal duration normal sexual intercourse should last.
Some men take note of how long they last in bed, even as many women also do not joke with what should be accepted as durations of sexual activity and satisfaction. To a number of men and women, sex is meaningless if they don’t achieve ejaculation and orgasm, respectively.
Finding remedies to erectile dysfunction of any kind has metamorphosed in weird adventurism. This is exhibited by both sexes. In fact, the market is booming, as more people are now coming out to talk about quality sex and its very numerous benefits.
For instance, there are now sex therapists. With them, there are solutions to all sexual inefficiencies. They advertise, luring more clients and bragging of their expertise.
A Lagos-based general practitioner, Dr. Chukwu Chima, described sex between an adult male and female as a healthy exercise that is capable of achieving mental balance.
According to him, ideal sexual intercourse entails the flow of blood to the manhood and also involves the emotions on the part of the man or the woman.
He, however, advised against taking concoctions to enhance better performance. He maintained that sex was a natural thing that should not be influenced by drugs or other stimulants.
“Sex has to do with the health and mental or emotional state of an individual. Taking drugs to last longer in bed is highly condemnable. It could achieve the immediate purpose for which the drug is used, but the long-term effects are far unimaginable.
“For those who use sex toys, it is a matter of choice. I agree that there is an increase in knowledge in the society and the drive for sexual pleasure from one individual to another differs. Whatever you do for pleasure, take a step further to find out how it will make or mar your health and wellbeing,” he advised.
Why women use sex toys
Sex toys are described by some persons as the owner’s best friend.
Some persons might have been aware that sex toys were not a new discovery, but only a few could have imagined those items have existed for thousands of years and still counting.
Recently, a 28,000-year-old phallus was found in Germany, which is quoted as being the oldest known ‘sex toy’ ever found. Yes, sex toys date back so many years but it is only now that many people are comfortable discussing, buying and using them. Women have been urged to stop shying away from making an experiment, assuring them that sex toys are important as they are technically made to increase pleasure in bed.
One of the arguments for their use is that sex toys are not just for ‘lonely’ people, contrary to the popular belief. Toys are said not to be an ‘alternative,’ which means that they increase the pleasure time in bed for a couple as much as they would do for singles.
The advocates have said that women definitely need them in order to have the right kind of clitoral or mental stimulation to achieve orgasm. There have been confessions of how most women fake orgasm simply to make their men happy. Sex toys are projected to aid the right assistance and hence are recommend for women to explore.
Sex toys help break monotony
Experts in sexual matters have said that getting this new member between the couple could help them break monotony in bed. But others have also disagreed, saying the use of a sex toy between couples negates some level of decency.
“Anal plugs and vibrators, restraints, whips, paddles, ropes, clamps, blindfolds and electro-stimulation toys are all technically gender neutral and increase pleasure. They know the right points
“Sex toys are designed scientifically to aid your sexual pleasures. It is not an easy task to stimulate your mind and body both at the same time and this is where your sex toy should come handy. All adult toys are designed to hit upon the right pleasure points and reduce your workload,” a sex therapist said.
“It’s so much easier for me to have an orgasm. Using sex toys with my partner has been amazing! There are so many options out there, from vibrators to cock rings to other fun toys like handcuffs and feathers. We don’t use them all the time, but they’re an exciting addition to our sex life. I first tried it early in my relationship with my current boyfriend. He actually suggested it and helped me use it too. This soon turned into incorporating toys during sex,” a user said.
Another young lady who didn’t want her name mentioned in print said: “With vibrators, it’s so much easier for me to have an orgasm. It’s difficult for me to get that climax regularly, even when rubbing my clitoris and, no matter how amazing the sex is. I don’t have to be blaming my boyfriend all the time. I use vibrators most times just to reduce the pressure on the part of my guy who always struggles to get me to orgasm.
“He’s always focused on pleasing me and, as amazing as his dedication is, I feel bad when it occasionally takes an hour or longer to make me cum. I understand that it is not really his fault all the time. He has vowed not to take drugs due to the side effects of some of these drugs.
“He is aware that I use them and it is not a problem for both of us. He is such an understanding personality. We also discuss and agree when and how often I use them so that it doesn’t become an addiction.
“My favourite are cock rings that have a vibrating piece for the clitoris. They are so easy because you don’t have to hold them, and they don’t get in the way. Another beauty of it is that the vibration isn’t constantly on the clitoris. it comes and goes. The resulting orgasm is incredible.”
A married Nigerian woman, who lives in Plymouth, the United Kingdom, with her husband and gave her name only as Carol, told the reporter via a WhatsApp call: “For us, using sex toys during sex is about pleasure and connection. The truth is that I want to please my partner, he wants to please me, and we want to feel deeply connected to one another.
“Gone are the days when people pretend and die in silence. When I was in Nigeria, I couldn’t have discussed this thing with my husband but it was easier for us to agree on here.
“My husband, from the beginning, has had no reservations about using sex toys when we are together, so I have felt fully comfortable expressing what works and doesn’t, or what I want to try. It’s been great to just have fun exploring and introducing new toys into the bedroom. There are so many fun, well-designed toys out there for couples now. So many women don’t know what they are missing.”
In July 2021, an actress, Monalisa Stephen, said it was wrong for people to assume that plus-size people are not excited in bed. She also revealed that she was a very sexually active person who liked using sex toys.
Her words: “Sexual activities do not have to do with if one is big or small. There are lazy slim girls and there are lazy fat girls. I have met people who said that fat girls are flexible and crazy and some will say that some are lazy. So, we cannot say all fat girls are lazy or all slim girls are active.
“Personally, I like sex and I give it my best whenever I am with my partner. I’m a very flexible person because of some of my bubbly activities and that might have helped my sexual life. I also like to try new things. But that does not mean I cannot do without sex. I know where I can touch on my body that would get me aroused.
“I also have sex toys. I use them and they are very okay. I have to take care of my needs. I can also control the use of these toys; I don’t like it when things control me.”
According to a 2021 study published in the journal “Plos One”, about half of all women in America have used a vibrator or dildo in their lifetimes, with about 20 per cent having used one in the month in view.
In the same vein, Health Shots, an online health information medium, said a sex toy could help reduce chances of STDs to almost zero, as there is no human intervention in its use and thus prevents viruses like HPV and HIV.
It further stated that sex toys could help reduce stress, improve libido and solve the problem of vaginismus, pain during penetrative sex.
In her own contribution, a sexual and reproductive health expert, Dr. Yemi Adeyemi, in 2021, said that using sex toys could reduce stress and provide relief from menstrual cramps.
According to Adeyemi, sex toys could also help boost one’s mood and release sexual tension. The sexual and reproductive health expert, however, warned that sex toys should not be shared because they could be a rich source of sexually transmitted infections.
Also sharing her experience on the use of sex toys, a young lady corroborated Adeyemi’s view, noting that the toys help her to ease tension and reduce stress.
“Yes, it reduces stress. It also helps prevent infections because you are not worried about an unfaithful partner,” she said.
She said she was open with her decision to use sex toys, revealing that her partner, who loves trying new things, was aware and comfortable with her using sex toys.
“In fact, we use them together. We love trying new stuff,” she said.
The young lady also stated that she was not worried about getting a sexually transmitted infection from sharing her sex toys with her partner.
“Well, to some extent, I trust my partner and whenever we want to share, I clean it up. If it involves penetration, we use a condom,” she said.
Also, Omolayo Aiyelabola, owner of an online sex toy store, Intimates by Amope, agreed that sex toys relieve stress and tension: “Sex toys help reduce stress. Many women do not cum or orgasm via penetrative sex. So many women are not satisfied with their sex lives, hence the need to use the toys to be fine.”
What men do to ‘perform’ better
Just to prove that their virility is not questionable, many Nigerian men will do anything to give their masculinity a boost and remain on top of their game by taking aphrodisiacs, which are medications, food or drinks that stimulate sexual response or desire.
This is not unconnected with the fact that some men are willing to eat or swallow anything, not minding how bitter or sour, so long as they are assured of having a fulfilling romp at the end of the day.
Maintaining or restoring sexual potency has become a big business in recent times. At all times, men don’t want to be losers when it comes to sex. Some men are heard openly boasting of their conquest, as if medals await them.
Unfortunately, many Nigerian men have been sent to the graveyard by libido-enhancing drugs because they were probably unaware of underlying medical conditions they might have had, such as high blood pressure or a weak heart.
Research shows that young men oftentimes take aphrodisiacs to last longer in bed. Most of them usually have quick ejaculation due to hyper-excitability
Medics have noted that most men develop crises in their sex life when they get to 40 years, a situation that can be worrisome for any man.
At that point, every man is said to start having erectile dysfunction and their sexual drive begins to diminish and eventually disappears. Apparently, no man is comfortable when he can’t sustain an erection for as many minutes as possible. In some cases, it could lead to depression. When found in such a web, there is always pressure on the man to get it fixed and ‘get it up’ by whatever means.
A young man who operates a pharmacy in the Abule-Egba area of Lagos, Onuoha Ngozi, said his sales of performance-boosting drugs increase every weekend.
“Between Friday and Sunday, sales for those kind of drugs always increase because there are two hotels close to my shop. I think there is a sense of fulfilment among men when they last longer in bed.
“Those years when Viagra just hit the market, everyone was running after it like a lifesaver. But later, other brands gave Viagra stiff competition. Today, there are more than 100 brands competing for customer’s attention,” he said.
Many keen followers of the development are of the opinion that substances, particularly the bitters and beverages taken by most men, are responsible for rape and other criminal acts.
Today, most beer parlours, lounges and roadside liquor spots are filled with all sorts of alcoholic bitters and beverages that are nothing but aphrodisiacs. There is no doubt that Nigerian markets have been flooded by many brands of bitters and they enjoy high patronage from consumers.
Such bitters are sold in all manner of places, which include markets, stores/department stores, supermarkets, roadsides, buses/vehicles and more.
They include Alomo Bitters, Orijin Bitters, Jagaban, Striker, Opa Eyin, Ogidiga, Action Bitters, Wiper Bitters, Edges Bitters, Agbara Bitters, Osomo Bitters, Scoogies, Ibile Bitters, Agra Appiah Bitters, Adonko, Skelewu. In fact, the list appears endless as more brands hit the market now and then.
Some others only specialize in researching combination of fruits, nuts, vegetables or mixture of milk, honey with other content to give them a perfect boost.
An elderly woman who sold mainly alcholic brands in Meiran, Lagos, said: “I started by selling beer nine years ago but in the last three years I struggled to sell one carton of beer in a week. But I can sell 10 rolls of sachet Chelsea or Baby Oku.
“Men take these bitters for the general cleansing of the body, which they always say. But many of them say it enhances their sexual performance. Whatever role they play in the body, what I know is that more young men are buying these alcholic bitter drinks.”
A regular drinker of all the alcholic sachet brands said: “When your body is clean of all toxins, your body will perform well. It is medicinal because most of these drinks are made from natural roots and leaves.
“But I try not to take it in excess because of the alcoholic content in it. Some of my friends abuse it and bring bad name to all of us,” he said.
Beware of sex-enhancement products
Perturbed by the development, the National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control (NAFDAC) has raised the alarm over the rising intake of unregistered herbal aphrodisiacs, bitters and other products among Nigerians.
The agency said that a careful examination of the situation could confirm that stories of people dying in hotels and homes in the cause of sexual activity could be as a result of these products that are, most often, taken to drive sexual satisfaction.
The agency stressed that most of the unregistered herbal aphrodisiacs either contain ingredients/substances that are harmful to the body or are misused by the manufacturers in terms of quantity and dosage.
NAFDAC’s director-general, Prof. Mojisola Adeyeye, at a meeting in Abuja recently, displayed some of the aphrodisiac products that were confiscated from various markets and other locations across the country, some of which, she said, could lead to death of the user in five minutes because of the ingredients used in preparing the products.
She said: “Recently, the agency received series of report on the use of a herbal preparation popularly known as ‘Kurkura’ particularly in the South West, and northern axis of the country, and thereafter swung into action, carried out intelligence and enforcement action.”
She explained that “Kurkura” is an illicit product illegally consumed for the sole aim of getting intoxicated, adding that the substance, when abused, could be harmful to organs such as the brain, kidney and liver.
She added that the substance could also cause irrational thinking, altered state of mind, which, if taken by a driver, could lead to road accidents with the attendant fatality or could lead to criminal behaviours such as rape, kidnapping and murder.
She said the agency’s officials have commenced a nationwide crackdown on all illegal manufacturers and distributors of these herbal preparations with a view to bringing perpetrators to book and minimizing the usage of the substances: “Findings from various operations carried out revealed a dangerous trend in the use of such substances laced with high concentration of tobacco and sometimes cannabis by our populace, cutting across all genders and age groups, particularly artisans, drivers, okada riders, etc.”
NAFDAC had on many occasions warned that many of the products were not registered, hence posed a threat to the system.
Also, in 2016, Bauchi State coordinator, NAFDAC, Mr. Stephen Laiko, said most bitter herbal drinks were dangerous to human health. He said that such drinks were not supplements or drugs that should be consumed as the bitter tastes could cause havoc to consumers.
Laiko advised people to abstain from excessive consumption of bitter drinks to avoid medical disorders.
Similarly, a laboratory scientist, Mr. William Egoro, warned consumers to be careful in the way they consumed bitter drinks, saying most of the drinks lacked laboratory proofs.
In his words, people consume these things because of their belief that they are medicinal and he stated that it was not enough to say that they were not harmful.
“They do not pass through laboratory tests to determine their efficacy and the quantity to be taken, so it is very dangerous’’, he said.
