On April 18, two days before Easter 2025, Archbishop Joseph Imariabe Ojo, General Overseer of Calvary Kingdom Church International, marked his 76th birthday. A day earlier, his wife, Pastor Esther Ojo, turned 69 and fully looking forward to her milestone 70th birthday. Added to these pleasant anniversaries was the information that the two lovebirds would celebrate the golden jubilee of their wedding on December 6, 2025. In this interview with Enyeribe Ejiogu, they look back and share thoughts on their 50 years of being intimately united in marriage.
How did this union happen 50 years ago?
Archbishop Joseph: Before the union happened, we were both in the same church, Church of God Mission International, founded by Archbishop Benson Idahosa, with headquarters in Benin, Edo State. This was in 1972 to be precise – about 53 years ago. Back then, I was one of the ministers as the head usher, and she was in the choir.
With time I saw her commitment, and I knew we would be able to live together. We lived on the same street, not quite far from the church. Honestly, God has helped us through the years.
How did you propose to her?
Archbishop Joseph: It was an interesting thing. In those days, after service, most of us in the ushering unit and the choir used to walk home together because we lived close to each in nearby streets, which were off the main street. One of those evenings, May 18, 1975, I can never forget the date, it was a Sunday evening. Many of us youths in the church were just walking home. As we were going, when you got to your street junction, you branched. So after everybody had gone their way, only two of us were left. I looked at her, right on the public highway, and said, ‘Come, will you marry me?’
Ma, what was your initial reaction to his proposal?
Pastor Esther: I had not even known anything about marriage before that time. So I just asked him, just like that?
Were you expecting the proposal to be in a special way or what?
Pastor Esther: Well, I didn’t even know how a man would propose to a woman. He was the first person that came and just said it. I didn’t know why that word came out of my mouth too, to ask ‘just like that?’ Anyway, I told him that I could not give him an answer right then. I said I would have to pray about it. As a spiritual person and a child of God, we have to take such things to God in prayers. And that was what I did.
So how long did this prayer last?
Pastor Esther: I didn’t really take a long time to tell him because of the way the Lord himself had been showing me things, which I didn’t even know he was the one. Before he came, God revealed things to me. In the revelation I got, I was just seeing beautiful homes, flowers, and all those things in my dream. I never even thought it was going to be marriage. Rather, I was just thinking about the heavenly home, and how beautiful it is. But I did not know I was dreaming about my marital house. So, when he spoke to me, the things started occurring. So, I just said, yes. Just like that.
So when she said yes, how did you feel?
Archbishop Joseph: I felt fulfilled. I felt happy. I felt, at least this was the end of the search. Before I approached her, I had spoken to two ladies that rejected me. So I felt very happy at least.
After he proposed and you accepted, how did you relate that to your family?
Pastor Esther: The first person I took him to was my eldest half-brother. I did not inform him that I was coming with somebody. I just went there with him. Fortunately, that day my mother’s first son, who had not been around was at home too. It was a case of divine arrangement. I introduced him to them as the man that wanted to marry me.
Did your family show any objection?
Pastor Esther: No, they had no objection since he was my choice, as they said. So, there was no opposition.
Sir, was there any opposition on your side?
Archbishop Joseph: There was none because my father had been urging me to get married. I told my father that at the right time, I would get married. The reason was that my younger brothers were already married. The wedding took place in December of the same year. The courtship was just seven months.
How did you handle the initial challenges that come after marriage?
Archbishop Joseph: Of course we had differences in upbringing. But as a person, I adapt easily to situations. And the same thing applies to her. I remember that on the first day after our wedding, everybody got home and they helped to set the table and asked us to go and eat. We sat down to eat. Within three minutes, I was done. And she said, what’s the matter? Have you finished eating? I said, yes. She said, ‘you don’t eat hurriedly like that. She said there are table manners. I replied that a hungry man doesn’t know table manners. She insisted that you don’t have to hurry over food. I said, ‘you don’t know where I’m coming from. In my family we were 20 and my father had five wives. And one woman, among those wives, was responsible for cooking each day, to feed everybody. The bowls of the pounded yam and soup would be put down in the centre and we would all sit round. And we would rush the food. If you were slow, sorry for you. Even if the food was hot, you will drink water to cool it down. I didn’t have time to waste on table manners. So, she had to teach me. I was not put off by her observation. Every person that wants to grow and develop must learn new things. So, I adjusted.
As a young couple, when did you have your first disagreement?
Archbishop Joseph: I can’t remember – and not even what it was about.
Pastor Esther: I can’t remember either. It is hard.
In the early years of marriage, when he said or did something you didn’t like, how did you handle it?
Pastor Esther: Well, if he did anything I didn’t like, I would tell him that I didn’t like what he said or did.
Did you choose a particular time to express your displeasure?
Pastor Esther: No, I could just tell him immediately. If he was talking and what he said didn’t go down well with me, I would just tell him that I didn’t like it. There was no pretence at all. I felt that if I pretended for him, I would be deceiving myself. If he pretended, he would also be deceiving himself. So, it was best to just iron out things.
How did you handle such situations if she was displeased with what you did or said?
Archbishop Joseph: What I would do was to book an appointment for peace. By that I mean that there are certain things you could say or do which might make peace become very hard and difficult. Even if somebody had spoken to you in the way you did not expect, when you are responding to it, you should think about the future. I’m a spiritual person. I think very well and deeply before I answer or say anything, because you may say a word, that you would regret after saying it. That has been my way of life.
Was there at any time, you faced an issue that required patience to get an answer? For instance, childbearing?
Archbishop Joseph: Yes. We got married in 1975 and had our son on September 26, 1976. That child would have been about 49 years this year. But he died in 1977. There were some complications during the delivery. We were both young, but it took time before it got cleared. So, we were waiting, patiently. God did this for us after about five years. We were really tense during that period, but God honoured and glorified His name. My wife took in and gave birth to our first daughter, Peculiar.
How many children do you have?
Archbishop Joseph: We have four children, two males and two females. Peculiar is the first, followed by Best, the first son. He is followed by Success, our second son and our last child, Favour, a girl.
In most marriages, dealing with extended family members can create a challenge. Ma, please share your experience in this regard.
Pastor Esther: We are particularly blessed in that regard. The Lord God has given us grace to have peaceful relations with our siblings. We’ve had good family rapport among our siblings and our parents.
Between the two of you, who is the disciplinarian-in-chief?
Archbishop Joseph: She is the one. She loves to discipline people.
Pastor Esther: Normally, it is the woman that disciplines more, because most of the time, the fathers are not always with the children. So, it’s the person that takes care of the children that can discipline them. If they do anything bad, which I cannot handle, I will inform him. But mostly I discipline my children by the grace of God. It has helped me. The sort of discipline did not only benefit my children but as many people that have lived with us, because we have always had people living with us.
Our house was really a full house with people from different tribes. In Benin, I had some of my husband’s relations with me. My younger ones also were there for some time. My husband’s people love me. We are like one family. You cannot really know whose sister or brother anyone is. We took everybody like our own children. So, whoever comes to our house, we always tell them to feel free like our children. That helped us. Grace has been speaking in our home.
Archbishop Joseph: Like she said, God has given us grace in that our children imbibed self-discipline, all four of them. God helped us to live a disciplined lifestyle before them.
As ministers of the gospel, what is the right way to model marriage for children?
Archbishop Joseph: That’s a very good question. It’s to not pretend over anything. When you have the opportunity of having your children with you, when they are growing up, then your relationship is what you are using to model to them. If you are together, that is what they will do in their home when they marry. They need to see you talk together, play, joke and interact. Share moments, live and eat together. When you do those things, it will also help them to learn from watching you.
When we live as tenants and even when we built our first house in Benin and here in Lagos where our house has eight bedrooms in-suite, we have never had separate ‘Daddy” and ‘Mummy’ rooms. We have slept in the same bed for 50 years.
One of the areas young people look for trouble for themselves is having separate rooms. That is how separation of the couple can start. Unless I travel, I have never slept alone. My wife and I sleep in the same bed until tomorrow. Now that our children have gone away, we have never said lets have separate rooms.
Pastor Esther: I have nothing to add. Our bedroom is our bedroom. No separation. And the children know. They grew up seeing us that way.