Our president’s crocodile tears

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We genuinely wonder at this latter-day apology. It is ridiculously strange. We cannot trust you anymore. You have lost it with us.

Don’t blame us. We are deriving useful lessons from our bitter experiences. A litany of ordeals! We refuse to forget them in a hurry. They hurt us to the marrow.

We ask: When we needed your apology most. You arrogantly denied us. You deliberately did not oblige us.

President Muhammadu Buhari knew very well that we were once in extreme need of his apology. We were in dire straits then. We cried. We sobbed. We moaned. We mourned.

But he intentionally failed us. It was woeful. He thought that was the lifeline desired to keep us alive. Yet he held it back, to our chagrin. Yes, it was, but certainly not the only one.

You were convinced we would collapse without your apology. And, in fact, in a matter of days. What wishful thinking! True. We almost. But we didn’t. We survived your mindlessness.

When you happened to us in 2015, I was personally convinced. That we were in for hard and harsh times; it would be a long-distance journey.

Not only that, it would be rough, rash and tough. The bumpy road would be full of explosives. Fully laced with landmines. And it turned out to be exactly so, even more than my conviction.

And all through, Buhari shut his mind against us. He behaved as though we never existed. He was blind, deaf and dumb to our plights. His body language, actions and inactions were inimical to our existence.

Clearly injurious! We nearly cursed the day our paths crossed. We detested that crossroads. We wished it never came to pass. Sadly, it did.

What has this regime not unleashed on us? Practically nothing! Let’s try our fragile fingers on a few samples. It may be worth the attempt.

Buhari vowed he would crush Boko Haram in less than six months in office. Alas, it was monumental deceit. Boko Haram and fighting terrorism, instead, became a huge cash cow under his watch.

It was made a viable sub-sector of our awkward economy. A feast of sorts. Imagine. Government participated in it with uncanny relish. They hyped and heightened it.

They churned different disgusting narratives out of Islamist sect. That painted it dreaded. Their claims and counter-claims overwhelmed the space. They went wild and viral.

At a point, it became pointless and embarrassing. The soldiers were “killing” Shekau many times over. And at alarming rate! It was that nonsensical and irritating. 

They made sure they “killed” him all the time. They did it hilariously. At least once in a week. We lost count. We gave up. We were forced to ignore them.

Shekau, you remember him? You dare not feign ignorance. An undisputed notorious Boko Haram commander. He became invincible. And our soldiers were flexing their might and strength on him.

In the course of time, Boko Haram was lifted up. It was elevated. They graduated. They were moved to terrorism realm. And that came with its evil attendants; kidnapping, banditry, et al.

They attacked en masse. They gang-raped, maimed, killed and abducted. It grew into full-blown business, lucrative and attractive. They capped it up with huge ransom.

Each of these times, we begged for Buhari’s apology. And, each time, he denied us flatly. He cared not. We were in serious need. We wanted him to speak to our situation.

He never did. He looked the other way. He enjoyed it when it lasted. He would not apologise. He would not speak or rebuke the storm in our lives.

His enduring language: Learn to live in peace and harmony with your neighbours. Then, he would retire to his shell in the hollow “hole” labelled Aso Rock.

They want to pretend to forget this. But we won’t. Their foreign kinsmen instantly became our nightmares. They imported these Fulani herdsmen to fight the 2015 elections.

But luck smiled on them. They won the elections without a fight. So? These mercenaries from Mali, Senegal, Sierra Leone, The Gambia turned a burden. They couldn’t meet their insatiable demands. Great dilemma and mischief set in.

The Fulani herdsmen exploited the greed and wickedness in our rulers. They increased the stakes. They created a gulf with their hosts. With that they parted ways.

They would not listen to them anymore. They insisted they must be fully paid off. Greed took the better part of both parties. And the rest is what we’re going through today.

Their atrocities festered unrestrained. Again, we cried to Buhari for apology. It never came. He lived on his life. He left us to lick our wounds. These came on a daily basis. And got worst by the second.

A simple caution from Buhari to his Fulani kinsmen was the tonic we needed. That was far back in 2016. That would have done the magic. If he had spoken? That would have put paid to the huge mess we are in now.

But Buhari would not. He was mute and mum. He stuck to his deadly guns, to our greatest detriment. The killer Fulani herdsmen were emboldened. And they carried on like never before.

On its heels, we contended with a legion of other evils. They crept in seamlessly, unchallenged. They were fearful and fearless. See the dreaded league: Nepotism, #EndSARS, energy crisis, naira re-colouration and their likes.

Their “change mantra” was implemented in the reverse. And for the wrong reasons. Instead, corruption grew wings; in leaps and bounds. 

A glaring sampler: See how they managed to mismanage our black gold. They turned the oil to our recurring misfortune. With deception they elected to tag it fuel subsidy removal. It reigned while the Buhari junta lasted.

He proudly beat his chest as far back as 2011. He needed our votes badly then. Out of his mouth he vomited: “If anybody says he’s subsidising anything (specifically fuel), it is a fraud.”

After burning N7.3 trillion on petrol subsidy, Buhari admitted its futility. He spent that much funding a fraud. They will still remove the same fuel subsidy in June!

This so-called custodian of jaundiced integrity did far more damage. He spent $5.8 billion to rehabilitate our refineries. The Herculean task was performed just between 2015 and 2020.

As we speak. None of the four refineries produces a drop of oil. They are moribund, dormant. That’s the height of their integrity. That is why Buhari thinks we need his apology.

Now, in his dying days in office, he came calling. He asked for forgiveness in his haughty element: “God gave me an incredible opportunity to serve the country.” And what did you with it? You messed up big time! He encouraged himself. He meandered on, unperturbed:

“We are all humans. If I have hurt some people along the line of my service to the country, I ask that they pardon me.”

You did hurt us really bad. There was no reason under heaven for the pains you inflicted on us. The scars are permanent. You cruelly took more than a pound of flesh from us. We still wonder. Where we got it wrong with you. How did we offend you? What’s our sin?

You banked on your usual: The mood of the season, aka Eid-el-Fitr. You were playing a religious card one last time. It was your potent tool throughout your eight turbulent years. You used it to the maximum.

He flaunted his self-acclaimed audacity: “I dared the politicians and ended up at the Supreme Court three times. They laughed at me, and I responded, ‘God dey.’ God sent technology to my rescue, with Permanent Voter’s Card (PVC). The fraudulent people became unemployed.”

He claimed the unending insecurity has ended. Falsity. Fake news. Deceit. By his own selfish reckoning, he insisted he subdued it this way:

“It is good to reflect on what used to happen here, in FCT, especially on security. Security is not only about the North East it also spread to the FCT and all over the country. Those who wanted to make our lives uncomfortable reached the FCT, and they have been marginalised.”

He surely got more than he actually bargained for. And he adequately showcased it. This is the manner he intends to dump us:

“I can’t wait to go home to Daura. If they make any noise to disturb me in Daura, I will leave for the Niger Republic.

“I deliberately arranged to be as far away as possible. I got what I wanted and will quietly retire to my hometown.” We read your lips and mind accurately. You came for revenge. And the revenge you got in abundant measure.

You ruled us this way for eight excruciating years. Now, you are running away from your ugly shadow. The evils men do live with them. They hunt and haunt them all the way. No breathing space for the wicked. 

What a “humane” human being in Buhari! He did us in this dastard manner. And begs us to find a place in our small hearts to forgive him.

This is a president we eagerly wish to wish away. We don’t pray for his replica. He promised and delivered full blast. He crashed us from top to bottom.

Buhari’s ways are not our ways. It’s given. The reason he’s thirsty for our forgiveness. We won’t oblige. He first denied us his when we were at his mercy.

He should cry to God, not us. When he was dealing with us, we cried to God. It’s He only who forgives. We’re certainly not in competition with God for that enormous capability. We can only pretend to forgive.

What he let loose on us for the past eight years, he wanted to undo. You dare not erase in a minute. And what with your insincere apology.

The pardon he sought is a tall dream. There’s a reversal of roles. He still wants the status quo to stand. What you sow, you must reap. It’s as evergreen as it’s everlasting. It changeth not.

Where do we place this apology? Nowhere. How do we discribe it? It’s nothing but crocodile tears. The reason your apology is laughable. It is our turn to laugh. And we will laugh you to scorn.        

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