No prayer can win us a World Cup!

Did you see that short, human charcoal waving at the corner of Godswill Akpabio International Stadium in Volgograd, Russia, yesterday, when Nigeria played against Iceland? Phew! That was me! I was also at the U.J. Esuene Stadium, Kaliningrad, when Nigeria lost 2-0 to Croatia. I wore a white T-shirt ticked with a green marker. I probably looked funny like a green zebra!

Well, in case you missed it, my duty at the World Cup, is to wipe away the tears of Nigerians. You see, many Nigerians have been disturbing God a lot over everything. So, I was assigned to perform the miracle of wiping tears by just waving. Especially during Nigeria’s first outing on June 16, 2018! That should tell you that Nigeria’s poor performance did not take God by surprise.

Just because Mikel Obi promised President Buhari that he would bring back the cup, many thought the Eagles would miraculously play better. What was their level of preparation? What was their performance during friendlies? Mikel told me later that he merely told Baba that yarn to pay him back. Truth is, Obi expects Buhari to be as disappointed as most Nigerians are at the APC’s unfulfilled campaign promises.
Nigeria has been marked the world over as a country perpetually in search of miracles. An indication that we shirk responsibilities. We always want the easy way out. Hence, rather than apply the established concrete principles to success, many of us seek miracles – the fastest and easiest way to solution. For instance, rather than appoint a competent person into an office, we use favourtism, ethnicity, religion, etc. We help people without productive ideas into political offices. It doesn’t mater if we have to kill to achieve that. Even when we know someone is a thief or cultist, we overlook and adopt sentiment and hypo to “whitewash” him. In the end, we pray for a miracle from God, to shape the square pegs into round holes. We expect positive results. When the negative comes, instead, we look for who to blame. Then again, we pray for God to miraculously transform Nigeria into the league of the developed nations.

In education, business or even sports, we do no better. Take the Olympics. Or the on going World Cup fiesta. When other countries play, everyone rates them based on their pedigrees and preparations before the completions. But when Nigeria plays, we rate our team based on luck. Or miracle. Oh yes, our “boys” pray uncountable times from the beginning to the end of every match. Individually, in the dressing room. As a group before marching out. As a team before the game starts. They pray inwardly before they kick the ball. Pray at the end of first half. Pray again as they return to the pitch. And pray for the referee to mistakenly award us fouls as we stumble and crumble repeatedly in frustration. In fact, statistics at the end of Nigeria/ Croatia match showed that Nigerian players prayed more times than they took an aim at the goalpost.

When it comes to football, every Nigerian, except me, is an expert. And that is only during football competitions that we drop every other divide to support our country. So when the national team disappoints, the momentarily forgotten weight of political and security frustration comes crushing. Like now! Personally, I play football a lot, especially, in front of my sitting room TV. And when I was young and not so ugly, with the balls to play ball, I scored many goals – “behind closed doors”. So, watching Nigerian players shy away from scoring was irritating. All they needed do was to kick the ball to the goal post. If someone stops you from kicking to the far side, try the near side. The latter might even make you more famous. And your name will forever be registered as a scorer at the World Cup. Ask Etebo!

Football is serious business. Requires dedication. Patriotism. Discipline. It’s practical. Ok, so what miracle do we pray for when a coach like to adopt a strategy and refuses to try another even when he sees the first one isn’t working? What’s the sense in sticking to a failing or faulty tactics only to apologise later? Our footballers play less purposeful football. At times, it appeared they were acting Nigerian home-movie, where in a blink the ball would have rolled unseen into the opponents’ net.

We are, pretentiously, a very religious nation. We mismanage our economy and pray to God to miraculously make Naira equal to the dollar. Outside the football field, our fans’ club is the only one in the world whose only song starts and ends with solicitation for miracle. “He’s a miracle working God…He’s a miracle working God…He’s the Alfa; and Omega. He’s a miracle working…” For us, God is partial and in the mould of a corrupt Nigerian politician. So, we expect Him to tilt the balance in our favour, even when we do not deserve it. But, if the opposing team prays to the same God as we do, who do we expect Him to favour? We forget that our level of preparedness would impact on our self confidence and delivery. No prayer can win us a world cup; a plastic one, perhaps!

According to Bonfrere Jo, Nigeria’s former Coach, the match against Croatia was the most important one. But it’s doubtful what Gernot Rohr’s plan was – beyond getting Ekong to embrace the opponent from the back like a homo-whatever. That unnecessary hug- cum-wrestling nailed our woes. Some of the the other players like Mikel just didn’t feel bothered to interfere with the ball. He just kicked the ball away from his path a few times and walked around like a supervisor!

Then, when they lose, one idiot will blame it on Buhari’s bad luck. Or that Jonathan and PDP looted all the lucks in Aso Rock before leaving. But even as old as I am, when I play ball against my wife, I show skills. And a lot of purpose. No need for fasting and prayer or prophetic anointing for miracle!.

The way I prepare will tell you how serious I am. For instance, for stamina, I jog to the nearby “palmy” joint and back to our bed – smelling like I fell into a drum of alcohol. I even stretched in the mornings without falling 1,500 times like Victor Moses. It’s called preparedness!

Nigerians should stop “collapsing” at the slightest challenge, like the wall of Jericho. When would we be strong enough to withstand challenges? Football experts, which in this case is another name for Nigerian football commentators, have confirmed that football is a contact game. You could make motion without movement but you just can’t avoid contact. Aside from contacting the money or your bank, you contact the ground. Well, once in a while, you may even contact the ball. When you do, aim well and it will hit to the far post. And leave to the wind and, well, luck(?)! Since Nigerians believe so much in it. But believe it or not, football is more of hardwork, good preparation; dedication and focus! You can then add your basketful of miracle beliefs, if you like.