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It is a straightforward situation: if men stop gaping at semi-nude women and begin to loudly complain about it, women will stop showing their boobs, navels, suggestive V-fronts and the enticing curvature of the rear mounds of flesh in their Capricorn zone. It is only then that decency will return. Really, men have a strong and invaluable role to play in this by restraining themselves from committing ‘lookery’ when tempted. “Resist the devil and he shall flee from you,” is a crystal clear injunction in the Bible. So men, the ball is in your court.
Yes, like most people, I have come to the conclusion that men’s tendency to ogle women encourages ladies to engage in indecent exposure, by wearing half naked clothes and even boldly come to the altar on their wedding day in gowns that show over 70 per cent of their breasts. Have you noticed that on wedding days, men would dress decently, appear clean with their bestmen, while the bride and her train would dangle their bare breasts on such occasions. Not for once has a groom bolted out or abandoned his woman for poor presentation of herself, instead it is welcomed. One then wonders why it is so funny how some of these naked brides would just wake up from slumber and realize their mistake of coming into the church half naked, then begin to drag and adjust their uncomfortable wedding gowns to cover up their naked body in church and reception venues. And I ask, does showing one’s nakedness on the big day add to their beauty or just to look sexy for all, not the rightful owner?
The fact is that men are the primary reason women bare their breasts, and that is why I am putting men in the spotlight. If men should begin to consciously turn away from visual seduction, sorry harassment, the craze to show it will end. When men refuse to take out a lady wearing deep ‘V’ tops, clothes that show off the midriff, half bustier, one-arm dresses, tightly fitted bum-shorts, inners that have been converted to cycling shorts and skirts with very long deep slits, such ladies will adjust knowing that she will lose her guy if she continues to disregard his objections regarding nudity. It follows that if the man puts his foot down and says no nudity, his babe will take a cue and adapt to his preferences, which in this regard enhances public morality. No mother accepts a naked daughter-in-law just like that, but most men usually rule against their mother and subtle shut her out to say, “I love her like that.” If a man also wants a decently dressed bride, wife or girlfriend, he will actually get it and in fact the lady would send the red flag to her train to beware of offensive, indecent dressing during the wedding. An OAP once announced that most girls who go to a certain popular supermarket at Lekki walk round the shop without bra, and added that those girls just like to dangling their breast for the men. Hence, if a man therefore pretends to be interested and asks the girl to dress decently, she surely will adjust. The nudity is thriving because men applaud it. Instead of the cautioning the ladies, they would rather undress the lady with their eyes, concentrate and ravage her in their minds. However, my understanding of life’s principles has taught me that most of the naked girls are engaged for simple pleasure and not a serious relationship purposed to last.
For the naked brides, if the men also make a demand to see the wedding dress before the big day, it will also curtail the bride and train nudity. The idea of shopping and dressing from different locations is not also helping matters as both can shop together, be in the same house or hotel and dress up for the day; it is not a crime at all; after all, the moment both families come into agreement, marriage has taken place. All the activities are meant to publicly concretise what was agreed on privately between the families and fulfill all righteousness. When the men and boys also stop paying compliments and rebuff the nudity, the message would directly sink in.
To tell that men really aid nudity, I have encountered several of them but the shocking one happened in the private estate where my office is located. It is an enviable near-perfect layout that does not experience flooding. Very cool, quiet, free streets that are conducive for romantic walks, strolling, brisk walk and aerobics. One day I took a leisurely walk on the tarred adjoining streets to a nearby decent eatery to have lunch. Ahead of me was a boy and a girl who were also walking towards the gate of the same estate. The boy typically wore a three-quarter pant and proper ‘T’ shirt that fitted his body type, while the girl wore this tight fitted bum-short that managed to cover the upper chamber of her buttocks; the lower region was just bare and flapping as she walked with her simple top that was just hanging by her waist line. I found her whole ensemble offensive. It was the more offensive because of the fact that she was walking with her supposed guy because of the way they were smooching as they walked along. While the guy was properly dressed, his babe chose to appear partly nude with all pelvic region and thighs on display for every Musa, Tunde, Emeka, Okon and Odion in the estate to see and visually feast on, imagining erotic nonsense. Really, that sight was an act honoured the devil. You know what? Her boyfriend was happy walking hand-in hand with her because he obviously wanted something from her. I am convinced would not have allowed his sister or wife to step out of the house like that. However, if he had insisted that she must dress decently, she would have done so.
To tell how effective private chats, principles and threats could go to stop some unworthy behaviors, then you need to hear how Grace James almost lost her relationship with Princewill to her younger sister Ibiere. Grace was a big girl banker who lavished money on her style in the old Port Harcourt, Rivers State then. Worthy of note was the fact that bank girls then set an unhealthy competition and standard for themselves to keep up with the Joneses; their income was mostly spent on their appearances unlike today’s female bank staff who still look appreciably good without breaking the bank. Grace worked in the 90’s when upfront allowances were paid in January. She bought a set of jewelry for N850,000.00 and paid cash. Same evening, her fiancé visited and out of excitement, Grace brandished the set of jewelry before him and Princewill asked how much it cost, she told him it was Diamond of N850,000.00. Princewill stood and said: “If you do not return this to the jeweler, be rest assured that this intending marriage is called off. Money that could buys plots of land is what you want to wear on your neck? Your sister Ibiere is more prudent. He meant it and bolted out of her house. Grace ran after him, but Princewill zoomed off. Grace regrettably repacked the jewelry. Before seven in the morning, she was in front of the jeweler’s shop with tears in her eyes. She told the seller that her marriage had crashed, that her husband ran away because of her reckless spending. The woman collected her jewelry and returned her money after some arguments that early morning. Honestly, the time has come when men need to fight against the nudity of their women if they actually love them – as they claim. What will a man feast on when the union is formalised?
It is for the reason of nudity that so many churches keep guards at their entrances to stop those who would violate the regulation regarding decent dressing. After the pretense in church, they come back to their normal nudity in the day time and their men romance such attires. Many tertiary institutions have also toed the same line of putting a strict measure on indecent dressing on campus. I am of the opinion that since religious bodies and some educational institutions have done their bit, the men who are at liberty to take their women to parties, should be involved in the fight. If they act as Prince will, who refused to be choked and love-blinded, most of the girls will take necessary precaution and dress decently.
At occasions, men would walk hand in hand with naked girls, nudity would be the order of the day especially for the so-called celebrities. Good or bad, this is Africa and when some of those civilized influx hits us, we then cry more than the bereaved. To also think that men appreciate and enjoy the sight of naked girls is disturbing. Once I asked my male colleagues why they do not remove their eyes from nude women, some said thus: “I will not remove my eyes because the girl gave me reason to look at her; and at the same time, she enjoys the attention and film show she has drawn to herself; if she dresses properly and looks at her mirror, she will know that a woman is addressed how she is dressed.”
Dear men, women do not wear naked clothes for fellow women to admire them. All that is done to attract the men. That attraction is where the men have authority and responsibility if they want to help the society. Even at some nude night clubs, the ladies do not also go there for fellow women, rather it is for the men that nude shows are organised. And therefore, for the personality and strength men stand for, there is need to help curb the increasing rate of women’s nudity, instead of waving the flag of approval for them.
