Men and the blame game

From time immemorial, men have always blamed women for things they did. It didn’t start today. It started from the Garden of Eden. Whenever a man errs, he will blame a woman for his actions. Most men don’t get tired of doing this.

We have heard the story of how mankind lost paradise because Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. But one thing I took away from that story was the blame game Adam played when God asked him what happened.

Adam blamed Eve for eating the forbidden fruit. He clearly refused to take responsibility for his action. He said Eve gave him the fruit and he ate it as if he didn’t have a choice.

The funny thing was that Eve didn’t force him to eat the fruit. She offered him and he had the choice of obeying God and saying no to her. But he ate it because he wanted to. He then turned around to say the woman God gave him made him eat it.

This is the scenario in many relationships. Men blame women when they misbehave. They blame their wives when business is not moving fine. It doesn’t matter if they keep making bad business decisions without consulting their women, they are to blame for their failures.

They blame their women when their careers fail. It doesn’t matter if they have zero work ethics or refuse to improve on their jobs; it is the fault of their women that a junior staff was promoted over them.

Many men blame their women when a business deal fails. It is their fault for not praying hard enough for the deal to succeed. It’s like these men blame women for everything that goes wrong in the world at large. It is the woman’s fault whenever they step out of line. They simply refuse to man up and take responsibility for their actions.

I know a man who married his secondary school sweetheart years back. Theirs was a beautiful love story. He went through hell and back just to keep her by his side.

Many women envied his wife because of the way he stood up to his family and married her. Men looked up to him for strength to keep moving forward when things got tough. But these people who envied this seemingly perfect couple were in for the shock of their lives when this fairy tale became a nightmare.

Years after Mr. Romeo married his Juliet, things started falling apart. The couple found it difficult to have children. Tongues started wagging. Family and friends started laughing at them.

There were murmurs from some quarters that God was punishing them for disobeying their parents. These family members and friends started giving them the ‘ I told you so’ looks. It became very hard for this couple to continue living their fairy tale life.

They started fighting all the time. They disagreed over little things. They were stressed out from all the misunderstandings. Their fights made it difficult for the woman to even conceive a child. They went for several tests and were both certified medically okay.

They also visited spiritual houses and churches to no avail. They didn’t waste time following anyone who knew one prophet or prophetess somewhere just to end their search for a child. They travelled sometimes out of their base just to seek solution to their problem, but all to no avail. One time, they visited a pastor who fleeced them of over a million naira, but there was no child to show for it at the end of the day.

Years passed, but this beautiful couple didn’t hear the good news they desperately crave for. It was not the life they wanted for themselves. It was a sharp contrast to their dreams of a happy marriage where their home would be full of children.

Then one day, a woman with a baby appeared in their home. She came in the company of the man’s friend. She claimed the man of the house was the father of her child. All hell was let loose. It was an unpleasant experience for everyone involved.

The woman of the house felt hurt and betrayed. She felt like dying because her husband, the love of her life gave up on her and sought solution to their problem in another woman’s arms. She had thought that they were fighting this battle of infertility together. She didn’t hold back expressing her disappointment to her husband.

But instead of being remorseful, this man blamed his wife for his actions. He told her that if she had given him a child since they got married, he wouldn’t have gotten another woman pregnant. He claimed that she was to blame for the situation since she couldn’t get pregnant for over eight years of their marriage.

I heard of one married man who was fond of sexually assaulting underage girls around his neighbourhood. He would lure them with sweets and biscuits and then finger them or get them to give him a blow job. When he was caught, he blamed his wife for not giving him enough sex.

These are some instances that men have refused to own up to their irresponsible actions. They seem to get carried away by their lust and when it comes out in the open, they blame the women in their lives for not doing enough so as to prevent them from misbehaving. I don’t understand why men do this.

A man makes bad business decisions or investments and when it flops, he blames his wife for being a witch. He claims she is the one against his prosperity. He refuses to blame himself for his bad decisions. He just refuses to take a look inward and advise himself accordingly. He must heap the blame on the poor woman in his life.

Why is it that it’s always the women in men’s lives that are to blame for their misfortunes? Why do men find it hard to take responsibility for their actions? Why do these men blame innocent women whenever they get into trouble?

I don’t have respect for men who blame the devil, their wives or their victims for their irresponsible actions. In Nigeria, a man rapes a lady and he blames her for wearing a seductive dress. But when he travels abroad, he won’t try that nonsense even if he sees women in bikini running around him in circles.

A man tries to rape his sister-in-law, he blames alcohol for his shameful action. He doesn’t reveal that he has been drooling over her perky breasts and her waistline for months. He even blames his wife for leaving them alone as if he’s an animal who lacks self control.

A man rapes a toddler, he blames the toddler for wearing Pampers in his presence. I don’t know how a toddler will seduce a grown man who should be sensible. He takes advantage of a child he should protect and turns around to blame the innocent child. What a terrible mindset!

A man keeps changing side chicks like boxers and he blames his wife for not hanging from the ceiling during sex. It is his wife’s fault for his wandering stick. She’s the one to blame for his irresponsibility. He just refuses to tell himself the truth. He refuses to work on himself and be disciplined, so that he can stay faithful to his marital vows.

A man rapes his daughter, he claims she seduced him and removed towel from his waist after he took his bath. He claims she’s the seductress who has perfected the art of seduction from the womb. He is not to blame for raping his own child. It’s the girl’s fault. He sings this like a bird to everyone who cares to listen.

A man is caught sleeping with his house help, he blames his wife for employing a beautiful girl. His wife is the cause of his rod accidentally falling into the private part of his house help. She should have known that these house girls are home breakers who come into a family with plans to steal the man as if he’s a Designer’s handbag.

A man is caught having sex with his wife’s niece, he blames the girl for walking around the house in shorts. He blames her hot legs for his wandering rod. She’s to blame. He’s the victim here. She’s Jezebel’s descendant who targeted him and succeeded. She’s out to destroy his already tarnished reputation. The list is endless.

I don’t respect men who blame everyone but themselves for their misbehavior. I don’t respect men who blame their women whenever they commit adultery. You are a human being, not an animal. If you can’t respect your wife or respect family boundaries, own your shit.

Stop pointing fingers at other people like you don’t have a choice in such scenarios. If you can do anything you want because you feel you are a man who can do and undo, then be a man and take responsibility for your actions when it comes out in the open.