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Man is expected to live up to 120 years on average, according to the Bible. That’s probably why middle age is put at between 55 and 65. Most working class people retire at about 60 when mid-life begins in earnest.
While everyone looks forward to aging gracefully, most people are caught in the vortex of mid-life blues without adequate understanding of how to manage the fall-out. The most common problem middle-age folks face is loneliness, even when they are still living happily with their spouse. We know from published life expectancy index that women tend to live longer than men. This is why many women become widows at middle age and this makes life not only lonely but dull, difficult and uninteresting.
It is inevitable that a spouse will die first, with this sad reality in mind, it is wise you make contingency plans on how to cope with life long before this happens. One way to obviate the pain of losing a spouse, especially if you are still relatively young, is to remarry. One of the crises of middle age is that many men die and leave younger wives who are still able and desirous of having more children. Where this occurs, the young widow is best advised to remarry and move on. That’s also one way you deal with loneliness and avoid fornication. For the same reasons, a widower should also remarry. Nobody needs to mourn forever. Losing a spouse to the cold hands of death is one of the blues of middle age. That’s not saying that only mid-lifers die. People in any age bracket do die.
It also a fact that people in certain age brackets suffer from some form of ailments and exhibit some traits associated with such demographics. It is on this basis that we are dealing here with mid-life marital blues. When couples get to middle age, certain problems arise. Apart from loneliness aforementioned, there’s declining interest in sex, food, outdoor activities, etc. For some, demotivation sets in. The desire to strive for big achievements may no longer be there. There will be health challenges that are purely degenerative because of wear and tear. The human body is not immortal; as we age, our body begins to degenerate with dire consequences.
Middle age reveals your health profile; how you have used your body in the past naturally tells on your state of health. Mid-life is a mid-term report on your life. It is also a clear indication of how your old age will be. Whatever disease would kill a middle aged person sometimes manifests at this point. A lot of terminal sicknesses show up in middle age and many wrestle with them till death, possibly in old age.
This information is given to prepare you for the inevitable, so you know how to plan your life and pre-empt future challenges. Middle age is beautiful. It is a time for harvest. That’s when most of your children have grown up and you start enjoying yourself as a grandparent. If you have invested wisely, you begin to reap. Even if all your kids are grown up and have gone to marry and raise their own families, you glory in their accomplishments and thank God for your life.
In middle age, most couples have all the time for church events, parties and fun. The wealthy can go on holidays to exotic destinations. These things can make up for the spark that’s missing in your love life because of age. There’s another twist to middle age. It is around this period that some people experience a turnaround in life. For instance, in my own case, it was around the age 50 that I answered the call to ministry. And, although I have been mentoring folks for about 45 years, I didn’t start writing motivational books and newspaper columns until two years ago. God can visit you at any age, at any time and in any season of your life.
What’s the point I want you to grasp here? If you haven’t made it as you wished, don’t lose hope. Your time may come when you least expect, and it could be in mid-life. Some miracles don’t happen until during the twilight of your life, probably when you have lost hope. Middle age shouldn’t be a time for regrets. You can still make it. You can shake off all past disappointments and start life afresh on a brighter note, backed by experience and the wisdom that only age can bring.
As this is mainly about marriage and mid-life, this is time to forgive your spouse and renew your marriage vows and enjoy yourselves. Most older couples tend to drift apart as they age. They tend to get tired of each other. Women suffer neglect at this period because older men prefer younger mates. That’s why you see middle-age men who date or even marry girls of their daughter’s age. Older wives should repackage and make themselves attractive to their husbands again. Work hard on your body to regain his affection once more.
Men ought not to forsake their old wives in old age. That old woman was once the girl of your dreams. Don’t dump her because of age. Old wine tastes better. Besides, the Bible says you should not deal treacherously with the wife of your youth (Mal. 2:14-15).
Weekend Spice: The more time you spend in prayer, the more power you have inside your life – Norvel Hayes
Ok folks, let’s do it again next Friday. Stay motivated.
•Ayodeji is an author, rights activist, pastor and life coach. He can be reached for
mentoring and counselling on 09059243004 (SMS and WhatsApp only)
