love comes in different shades but this obviously is a gray and dingy shade

I paced up and down in agitation, furious that Dennis will come to my House without calling first and taking the liberty to ‘hangout’ with my Mother. What did he hope to achieve? Well he is in for a shocker if he thinks I will just sit back quietly and let him disrupt the fragile peace I have managed to attain in my Home. 

I do not know how many of you out there are facing pressure from Parents who of course want what is best for you but seem to be more interested in what Society thinks than what you want. Yes, a lot of Parents are guilty of this as a result many have ended up marrying people they are not friends with and cannot stand after marriage. This is one of the major causes of domestic abuse and violence in marriages. In today’s world a lot of people are getting married for different reasons; financial freedom, status, age, the list goes on. Two of the worst reasons are; you are not getting younger, your mates are married with kids.

For the ladies, it is, if you don’t marry and have kids now, you may never have them because your child bearing years are numbered. This has caused many successful ladies to marry men beneath them. Yes I know that sounds condescending but when a highly educated and successful woman ends up with someone that doesn’t have the same intellectual capacity as her, what do you call that? The woman usually is unable to attain the pinnacle of her career or business.

There is nothing more frustrating for a woman than a man who has inferiority complex. This usually results in domestic violence in the Home. I know way too many couples sitting on a time bomb. Have you ever come across a couple where the woman is cultured and polite while the man is brash and uncouth, he can hardly rub two sentences together without putting ‘is’ where ‘was’ is and you wonder, what on earth does she see in him? Then you tell yourself love comes in different shades but this obviously is a gray and dingy shade.

Dig a little deeper and you will find out that she compromised. Sex tops the list; I hear people get married because the guy or the lady is good in bed. The question is, will you stay in bed 24/7? Will you walk down the aisle because the sex is good? For a few minutes pleasure, will you mortgage your life and possibly suffer the rest of your life if you do not believe in divorce? “Hey Tobs, what are you thinking about now? You’ve been quiet for a while,” Jasmine asked bringing me to the present with a bang concern itched on her face as she anxiously peeked in my face.

I smiled apologetically at Jasmine’s worried face. I think she felt I had gone ballistic after hearing what my Mom said. “I am alright Jaz, no need to be fussy,” I said with a smile. We had breakfast on the terrace and then Debbie my Secretary called. “I have been trying to reach you Miss Tobs, you have an urgent mail from the NGO Unit of the Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation, Lagos State Government and it states the Ministry will be attending DVA on Monday”.

Oh dear, how could I have forgotten Domestic Violence Anonymous (DVA), the Support Group run by Warien Rose Foundation every last Monday of the month will be holding this Monday (tomorrow) at Festival Hotel Festac (former Golden Tulip) and it is 10.00am. I have forgotten and have scheduled a Meeting with an important client on Monday.

I will have to call the Client. I quickly informed the girls so they have it in their program. “Tobs I know you will never raise the subject so I will. I see Dennis coming to the House and having tea with Mom upset you,” Jasmine said a studious expression on her face. My take is both men are sinfully handsome (I rolled my eyes at Jasmine’s choice of words) very successful, articulate seeing how big you are on grammar and I suspect are good in the sack!” Jasmine said in a sexual drawl. “Jasmine!” I exclaimed but not shocked