A few days ago, a chef posted this on his social media page: “At a Baptist church in Isolo, groomsman duties and the Reverend told me I’m not allowed to wear earrings in the church. I calmly left the church, guess it will be the reception for me. Shout out to Nigerian Christianity, and hope they will have fine dining restaurant in hell.”
First of all, I’m not big on religion, I’m more about spirituality. I believe your actions towards fellow humans matter most. No matter the religion you practice or profess, if you don’t treat fellow humans like they matter, I’m not about your outward appearance. That being said, I also believe firmly in rules and regulations. I’m a sucker for rules because they are guidelines organisations, businesses and people run by. Imagine a world without rules and regulations, it would be total chaos.
In the corporate world, companies have rules on appearance. Schools, churches and even night clubs all have dress codes. While you may be denied access into an office environment, school and even night club for inappropriate dressing, I do not see why a church with laid down rules should not turn you back for spotting an earring if it goes against their rules. It doesn’t matter that there are new generational churches that wouldn’t mind what you wear to church, except you are almost naked, but most conservative churches would not condone such dressing. Every church is unique and has rules guiding them.
If I’m a groomsman or brides maid at a wedding to honor a friend and I’m approached by the clergy or a member about certain things I adorned, I would just step away to take it off or take it off right there just to honor my friend. I will take it off for my friend’s sake except the clergy’s manner of approach is disrespectful like calling me out in public, making me the subject of preaching during the wedding. That would be something to be offended by.
If the clergyman talked down on me or walked me out of the church, I would gladly walk away without looking back and call the church and the clergyman out on social media. It is justified because I’m a victim.
Some clergymen can be rude and disrespectful in their manner of approach. There are thresholds they should never cross in trying to make their points. But in this instance, this young man didn’t mention anywhere that he was disrespected except that he was told he was not allowed in the church with earnings. So, it beats my understanding why he chose to walk away and still call the church and the entire nigerian christianity out on social media.
While it is your right to dress however you deem fit, no organisation will bend their rules just to fit you in. If you are in their territory, unacceptable behaviors and dressing are left at the gate. It is something we must always have in our minds. Every organization and institution have rules and regulations whether it is ideal or not. Some organisations will even make emergency rules to address urgent situations to forestall future occurrences.
I once wore an almost knee length gown and leggings to the National Assembly. The security men at the gate turned me back, that leggings is not allowed in the national assembly. I asked them if I took off the leggings, would my gown not be too short? They told me leggings are not allowed. I stepped away to the car park where I took the leggings off and walked back to the security post and they allowed me access this time. Even though I was most decently dressed earlier with the leggings covering my legs, but leggings is something that is against their rules and regulations.
When you are presented with options and you choose to walk away rather than take off whatever it is that your life is not dependent on for just a few hours, then it will be foolish to make an issue out of a non-issue later. Calling them out on social media for no just cause is entirely uncalled for and out of place. It is important to always think things through, if possible, sleep over it or even speak to one or two persons about it before putting it or calling anyone or organisation out on social media.
If there are options and it would cost you nothing to pick one, then run with it. Even if you decide to call the organisation out on social media, it should be about suggesting better options to them. I did same after I was done with what took me to the national assembly. I met with one of their bosses and I explained to him what transpired at the gate and how I had to hide at the car park to take off my leggings. I suggested that except a woman’s dress does not cover her leggings properly, using what I wore for instance, it is not proper to deny her access into the complex. And he agreed with me and promised to look into it.
I didn’t walk away when they refused me access for wearing leggings. I didn’t claim right either, I just went with their option which cost me nothing and just took off the leggings. When I was done, I didn’t go to the boss to report the security men at the gate, I simply went there to suggest more options. Rather than being needlessly woke for nothing, ask for wisdom on how to handle situations better.