Of recent, one cannot really explain why once loving happy couples fall out of love unceremoniously. Could it be that they were not sure of themselves before they made their interest known? Or could the reason be ego or power tussle between them?
It is so scandalous that two soul mates break up after meeting and playing hide and seek game for long – after boldly introducing themselves to their parents and families to seek their consent in their perceived everlasting union – after doing the necessary preparations including taking studio state-of-the art-photographs with wonderful resolutions. Then they kick off with their marriage ceremonies and finally settle down to live their life together. Then shortly after both had stayed together, rumours break out that things are no longer the same. Could that have happened because they could not manage their individual attitude and character? If they discovered some loose knots, could they not have properly tightened them up immediately? Indeed, they should not let the news of their break-up break. The moment such news filters out, prying eyes will surely be on them. The news of their misfortune will surely be in the social media space. So, they must strive not to let that happen.
Interestingly, marriage breakups do not happen until both parties yield to it. In some marriages, the newlyweds carry on as if they are still babies who just met.
In all their accusations and counter accusation, couple who have fallen in love can make a great comeback and start life all over again.
The recent pictures of Amara Nwosu and her first husband who fell out of love are in the public domain; that is a great proof that other couples who have also fallen out of love can come back.
Nwosu is a New York-based Nigerian relationship coach who recently set the internet agog with recent pictures of herself and her previous husband. The picture went viral and have been trending all week on the social media.
Mrs. Nwosu left her first husband who is also the father of her four children about 15 years ago, accusing him of domestic violence. She married two other men within those years and fell out of love with both.
Now, luckily for her, the wedding bell rang again for her and her first love who is the father of her four children. One thing led to another and they came back strong after 15 years of separation.
As the pictures of their reconciliation trended, Nwosu penned a message to her critics, and fans. “While the devil and his cohorts are mourning, heaven and all lovers of good things are rejoicing. Like I always say, stop trying to understand the ways of God in another person’s life,” the mother of four and media personality penned down.
Now, Nwosu set the ball rolling and rolling well. That is a very good signal for most ailing relationships to emulate. Those in such relationships must begin to think of a reconciliatory process, and then stage a comeback.
Most women have accused their husbands of marital insecurity, physical and emotional abuse, but then, there might be times of taking stock – a time of going back to the drawing board, talking to one’s inner mind and stating the obvious truth while swallowing that bitter pill of reconciliation.
Now, look at the case of Mayen Idiong, a petty trader. She did not find her marriage with Edidiong Udo, a site worker easy. Both met at a construction site where Udo worked; that was where their paths crossed.
At some point, it was as if they never told themselves the truth. That was when a lot of unrevealed things about themselves began to unfold. Love, which both of them thought was their unique selling point turned bitter.
The last time the couple fought physically, neighbours involved the police who arrested Udo. Then Mayen actually sued for divorce. Both families came for the hearing. While the magistrate told them they needed to be separated for a while, Mayen’s mother told her son-in-law: “I am not going to train your child for you.” Udo’s mother picked up the child and off they went.
Not long after, Mayen realised that she had lost out completely. Her husband of three years had gone; her two-year-old child had also gone. Then she turned her anger on her own mother, hitting her so hard, calling her names and accusing her of being the root of her misfortune. She called her a wicked mother for allowing her husband and child slip through her fingers. She had become painfully single, and searching for a new husband all over again. Then at some point, she came to her senses. She returned to her husband, full of regret. She was broken and full of apologies. Luckily, she was well received both by her child and her husband. But not without conditions in her second missionary journey, and all this she was glad to accept. It was a big surprise to Mayen’s family to see how she pushed them and their opinion away to make way for her to reconcile with her husband and child.
Now, most of the time, when couples separate, some – both men and women – do not see anything good again in the years they stayed together. What will fill their minds and thoughts is the bad sides of their relationship. They are always out there castigating themselves, engaging in name calling and dragging each other through the mud, while forgetting the numerous nights they lay skin-to-skin. They throw away all good memories they once had into the waste bin.
Now, couples must realise that their healing process starts with accepting each other’s mistakes. They must take their eyes off their past and their perceived poor character, and begin to think of how to make amendments. They must show great zeal and be remorseful. That way, they will chart a new course for themselves; from there, they plan and think of how to come back strong.
Be that as it may, one of the main things separated or divorced couples must do is to open up a channel of communication between each other. They must begin to talk about their differences but not dwell excessively on it. Having identified that, they must go on to heal. This will help them in rebuilding their trust. It is the duty of both parties to respect each other and avoid what most elebrities do when they wash their dirty linens in public.
Indeed, some of us have a great deal to learn from Davido’s logistic manager, Israel Afaere, popularly known as Israel DMW. He had it so rough with his ex-wife, Sophia, after their one-year celebrated union went sour.
Israel dragged his ex-beauty queen wife to the gutters, calling her and her family “Gold diggers.” He made attempt to attack his mother-in-law in her shop, then Sophia responded and stated her own side of the story.
With their public altercations, after all their tensed anger, one can also begin to think of reconciliatory process. They came back big and strong to the surprise of online judges.
Now, we must bear in mind that love frequently brings about unforeseen turns. And the process of getting back together after separation is the strength of love and the tenacity of the human heart. It is a tale of vulnerability, growth, and the courage to face the shadows of the past head-on. Those who dare to take this part find themselves on a calming and reflective compassion and repentance. This road of reconciling after a split, necessitates reflection, a readiness to own one’s shortcomings, and the fortitude to comfort in each other’s arms once more, overcoming simple familiarity and forging an unbreakable bond; it is a magnificent dawn.
Years ago, marriages were contracted as individuals meet their potential spouse either in school, church, or around town; but now, with dating apps, sites and social media, options are seemingly unlimited. For most marriages, the most fundamental reason is for love and companionship which actually offers a formal commitment to partners, both building life together, and sharing experiences. People are often fascinated about the idea of sharing their life’s journey with the person they love, but when such love is only on the periphery, it leads to a lot of disagreement, which also leads to marital squabbles.
Dear reader, it is important to note that every relationship has its uniqueness in its own way, and the reason for a marriage ending is vast. Marriage offers different things to different people. It is good to weigh all options and see if the victims are genuinely ready for a comeback; while some are worthy for the comeback, some others deserve to remain separate especially when life is being threatened.