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By Enyeribe Ejiogu
Oluwatosin Oguntunde got a standing ovation at the public presentation of her first book, Out of the Ashes, which is an abridged account of the terrible and traumatic experience she passed through in her marriage before she exited, to retain her sanity. Through the abiding presence of God, the inward ministration His Spirit, the Word, the loving embrace of her siblings, her Pastor and his wife, key church members and close friends, she remained strong and continued to strive excellently to build her business, give her two children godly upbringing which enabled them turn out as successful youngsters, and now doing well in their chosen vocations.
Having been forged in the crucible of adversity and triumphed, Oguntade has been using her experience to counsel other women going through toxic marital situations. In this interview, she talks about her business and future plans.
Tell me a little bit about yourself
For starters, I’m a mother of two adult kids, who are both graduates. I am an entrepreneur, a counselor and author. I’m in fashion business, importing and distributing clothes. I also make elegantly designed ready-to-wear clothing for ladies (from adolescents to above 50).
I studied Mass Communication at Lagos State University, LASU, specializing in Public Relations and Advertising. I worked as a freelancer in media houses until the passion for fashion took over. I’ve been doing that up until now. I still have strong interest in media and intend to establish an outfit in that respect. I would like to own a show on a digital platform (Podcast, YouTube, X). I really want to get back into media – my first love.
Why are you excited about media?
I love to talk. I love to be heard I love to be seen. I think that was what prompted me initially to study Mass Communications in the first place. I believe I have a lot to offer. I think those are the reasons that prompted my love for media.
I read your book, Out of the Ashes. Given what it addressed, do you plan to set up a non-profit organization to drive your women counseling activities?
Definitely, because of what I went through in the last eight years, I just don’t want that to go to waste. God took me through it so that I can take people out of it. I went through it and I didn’t really have much hand, except for God’s hand that helped me out of it. So sometimes when I see women in distress these days, it hits me deep, especially the ones that don’t have anybody to help them.
How did the fashion enterprise start?
The business started when I was still in the university. I was married at the time and I had given birth to my first child, my daughter. Whenever I went to the boutiques to shop, I did not find the fashion trends I wanted. So, when we went to London for vacation, after I had my second child and son in 2004, I just gathered some money and instead of buying things for myself, I decided to buy things I could sell in Nigeria. That was how the journey into fashion started. I started selling the items from my children’s living room. In the house where we were living at time, we had an anteroom. I turned it into a small boutique. And people were coming. I began selling to friends and family. People would come and buy. It was quite impressive. And before I knew it, I got my first store on Ogudu Road. I was so eager to start as a new CEO. At the time, my husband was not working having an issue at his workplace. So, it was my business that helped us stand on our feet for 13 years. I stood in the gap for my family. I always tell people that when you have a passion, and your passion doesn’t put food on your table, discard it. Your passion should drive you into fulfilling your purpose. You should have something tangible coming out of your passion.
Some people would say, ‘Oh, it’s just my passion. I’m just doing it.’
Your passion should put sustain you. If you want it to be consistent and last for a long time, then generate income to sustain it and be for a long time. My fashion business was actually meeting my needs and paying the bills. And I was enjoying every bit of it. It was awesome.
At what point did you go into garment production in Nigeria?
I love to sketch things. Once I have a trendy design in my head, I would sketch it on paper. I have an older sister who made clothes and I used to sketch for her. I knew how to draw, so sketching was relatively easy for me. Later I began to engage tailors. I would buy my fabrics and show them the sketches to make the clothes. I am still confronting the inherent challenges. I would like to set up a proper production facility with the appropriate industrial machines. I am looking forward to that but it is capital intensive. Making ready-to-wear clothing in Nigeria is the future and the way to grow the garment industry.
Based on what you just said, what is your message to the banking industry Banking Industry?
The government and the banks need to support small scale businesses. They have to be intentional about supporting small scales businesses with affordable single digit loans. Getting loans is difficult. And even when the government creates intervention funds, the money does not get to the small scale businesses that are supposed to get it, except you know somebody from the top. They know how they share the money among themselves. It doesn’t get to where it’s supposed to get to, and that’s unfortunate. When you go to the banks, they will cripple your business with hidden charges.
If you had the opportunity to speak to the First Lady at a town hall meeting, what would you say to her concerning the fate of small scale enterprises like your own?
The people in governance should not close their eyes and their ears to the grassroots. The fact is that the people close to them are not telling them what is happening down there. I can bet it with you that they don’t know what is happening to the grassroots because once you are up there, all you see is what is around you. You don’t get to see the masses. I think they need to really have contact with the masses so that they know what is happening to them. The government is not sensitive to what the masses are going through. I don’t know whether it is intentional or deliberate. It’s sad. They always believe that after making noise we will keep quiet in a matter of days, that we have a way of enduring. That is why I tell people to empower themselves. Forget the government. It’s the same old people recycling themselves. The
They are just continuing with the trend. And that’s why we are not seeing changes, unfortunately. Look at the naira exchange rate to the dollar. It is terribly affecting business owners. People are shutting down and it’s not good for our economy. So it’s a sorry case.
What would you say are the major parenting challenges that women in business face? And how can they be surmounted?
For those who are married, their husband is their first child. Whether you like it or not, a man wants to be cared for. These days, you hardly see a man give 100 percent, financially. If a man is bringing 50 percent and the woman is bringing 50 percent, the woman is still mentally, physically and emotionally bringing 100 percent to the table. That’s a lot on her. It’s a lot, because it takes her emotions and physical strength to care for children and the home. Everybody wants a woman to be like the Virtuous Woman the Bible talks about in Proverbs 31:10-31. But is the man ready to be a virtuous man?
Based on Proverbs 31, the scripture you quoted, what is required from a man to enable the virtuous woman in his wife manifest and thrive?
The man must be a provider; he must be a protector. That’s it.
In what sense should the man be a protector?
A man should protect his home physically, mentally and even emotionally. If you are able to protect your family, even from social environment, you’ve done 50 percent of what you’re supposed to do as a man. These days, you see children going haywire, especially the GenZ, because the father is not on ground to train a child. You are leaving everything to the woman. There is so little the woman can do in that regard. Coming together as one to train them is what makes sense. But when you leave everything in the name of you want to be a provider, you can be a provider and not be a protector. You can be a protector and not be a provider. But if you are the two, you done well. And it will show in the life of those seed that God has given you.
Some don’t even get to see their father. They don’t even get to see them. And then you see children these days, they only talk about their mother because they really do not have much of memory of their fathers. You can be physically there and not be there emotionally.
Because they were never there, they would now sit at home and be waiting for somebody to care for them. Did they care for those who should care for them at the time they were supposed to? It’s terrible.
Honestly, invest in your family. They will in turn stand in for you at your old age. That’s the insurance you have. That’s it. She will repeat.
I always tell women believe in yourself first because if you don’t, nobody will. Believe in yourself. Know you can. There’s a lot embedded in women. Women do multitasking. You can see a woman cooking now, taking care of a child and still working probably online, doing five things at the same time. Men can’t operate like that. Women can do a lot just by multitasking.
We are blessed and we are created to be like that. Some don’t even know they have the capacity. If you do not know or you are oblivion of your capacity, you cannot walk that path.
When my marriage crashed, it wasn’t even an issue. I made firm and resolute decision that I need to do better for my kids. I took it up and I told myself I would never go to anyone for help. And my children would go to the best university in Nigeria. It’s about being determined and not being lazy and you will get there. That’s it.
In this age of social media, what advice can you give to parents regarding parenting in an age of social media?
Number one, be in their lives and be their friend. I have some of my friends who ask me, how are you coping with your two kids? One will be 24, the other will be 22. They are grown and they are like my friends. They can tell me anything and everything. That way, the peer pressure will not take them out of line. They have to be on track always. Most importantly make sure they know God and be their friend.
How would you say your experience has strengthened you to be able to empower and encourage women?
When I was going through my ordeal, I’ve never for once felt I was going to be a failure. Most women I see these days, some will tell you, ‘I can’t do it. I cannot do it. It’s not possible.’ But the truth is God created the woman help the man. When life happens, you do not have a choice.
You need to face it head on. I can’t imagine sitting there and thinking, I can’t do it. For the sake of my kids, I have to be able to do it. That was what helped me. I’ve been able to counsel women who probably fall out of marriage and all of that. They feel life has ended for them. And then it’s showing in the life of their children. Academically, the children are nothing to write home about and physically, it’s draining them. I tell if these children do not come out right, you will bear the consequences. You need to step up your game. If you are doing one business before, veer into two more. Make more money. Let your income be multifaceted, so that you’ll be able to cater for these kids. They will thank you for it later in life. They will thank you for it.
I can’t stop emphasizing that you cannot afford to be lazy as a woman. You can’t. It’s okay for your husband to be rich. But it’s okay for you to be rich as well. It’s okay to have a rich husband, but be a rich wife.
Stay honest. Don’t quit. Don’t be too quick to throw in the towel.
It will be tough. There will be times when you will feel like I felt like closing a long time.
