I can never forget the Republic of Cameroon, our bilingual neighbours. I may have grown up in one of its dingiest suburbs, a fishing peninsula, but the country instilled and invested so much in me. It offered me primary and secondary education, nearly gratis. Cameroon built me up, gave me a mind that I treasure and memories that I can never forget.
One of such memories was the mannerism of people (mainly fishermen) you thought were illiterate writing pure philosophy on their doorpost. I remember one in particular: life is an empty dream. In 1979, the year I first read that, I was in primary three at Government School, Bekumu in Bamusso Subdivision, Ndian Division in Southwest Province. Nearly 46 years after, nobody can convince me that life is not an empty dream.
Life is an empty dream, please. An empty dream that is a déjà vu continuum. But, what exactly does that mean, sef? The English language gives me a headache sometimes.
Because life is a play or a stage, some acts or scenes appear like a rehash. Things happen and you instantly get a sense they had happened before and that you had witnessed them. Someone says or writes stuff and you immediately recognise that you had heard or read it before. Thenceforward, such occurrences become like new normals.
For instance, the way we respond to people who make us angry or who break the law. A fortnight ago, a young chief exec. narrated what she had concluded was a betrayal by one of her employees she was fondest of. She had caught the guy doing part time at a competitor’s shop and since social media have become some sort of forensic laboratory, she had brought the matter to one of their branches, their headquarters really, Facebook. Of course, because the place is filled with nosey, garrulous quack advisers, she got accused of not paying the guy well.
Fortunately, it was a good day on Facebook. Some faces with good heads were also on duty. These ones advised her to talk with the guy first before deciding his fate. She reluctantly heeded and even more reluctantly did as advised.
She came back to the platform, crying; thankful she hadn’t sacked the guy sans having heard him out. The truth was that the poor guy had been dying slowly inside, burdened by family responsibilities, etc. As the only grown child of the family, he had to work additional jobs to raise any extra cash he could muster in order to keep his sick parents alive as well as feed and sponsor his younger siblings. There’s not one human being alive who cannot connect with that story.
Alas, it’s human nature to decide the fate of another person without first listening to such a one. Leaders fired their best aides just because they thought the information at their disposal could not be wrong. Then, ‘’had I known. I am sorry, I thought bla bla bla.’’
In this entry, I am going to share seven real-life instances where leaders lost their right to leadership by acting foolishly. A governor, a state governor, overtrusted a lieutenant who was family in some sense. One day, the evil guy lied against an honest, hardworking commissioner so badly that the governor became so incensed he dissolved the executive council on the spot. A year later, after the guy’s evil had caught up with him forcing him to leave the government unceremoniously, the governor manned up to apologise to the innocent former commissioner.
Medicine after death. But, does man learn at all? Let’s look at another case. A big woman, a fantastic mother, is positioned by God to rescue an ex-big man who’s going through financial hell.
She determines in her heart to help but for whatever reasons mentions it to one of the sharks around her. Pronto, the evil adviser concocts cogent excuses why she ‘’shouldn’t do too much.’’ The help given instead becomes like a bone stuck in the throat. And, strangely, the former big man -call him Mordecai- only gets to know because this ‘’Haman’’ boasted to him directly.
Why exactly do animals -sorry, why exactly do so-called human beings- act like animals and stand in the way of those seeking help? Like God wants to use someone to help a person but another human being who has absolutely nothing to lose just decides to deploy physical witchcraft to stop it. They manipulate the prospective helper with lies from the pit of hell. In fact, even if they were to use the truth, it still is a sin to stop help from who needs it.
The next case is even most incredibly pathetic. A president, a serving president, during electioneering kept mouthing how his benefactor and almost predecessor had three decades prior used his corporate world status to grant him financial freedom. Alas, when it came for him to do as had been done him, he told his family members at breakfast that he couldn’t help one of his most visible campaign foot soldiers because he had been told the guy was no longer with him. Many years after he left office, and the guy he refused to help was now in a position that he needed help from, the former presido could not stop a downpour of crocodile tears called ‘’had I known.’’
Had he known exactly what, really? The man is pure evil. He was so then, and he is so now. Had there been a drop of godliness in him, he would have helped the perceived sudden enemy as a reward for work done rather than hold back help as punishment for what he knew he didn’t know.
The truth is that life is cruel. Satanic people like to play God. And, later, pose like fallen angels when their folly is out in the open. Fortunately, even God -who forgives everything- cannot stand them: ‘’get thee behind me, Satan!’’
The next story is of a no-nonsense purported reverend gentleman. During a church council meeting, an elder who always opposed him brought two young men who had been fighting. He alleged that but for him, the pastor’s son would have killed the other young man. On the spot, sans seeking to know what happened, the man disowned his son -as if that is God’s way.
This reminds you of pastors and sundry church head table occupants, whose daughters get pregnant out of wedlock. Almost always, these holier-than-thou parents (fathers especially) resort to disownership, as if that disconnects them from whatever shame they think exists. Yet, when such babies grow to become heroes, these same grandparents have no choice but to take the back door to enjoy their puke. Thankfully, life -with its terrible sense of censure- never fails to take its pound of flesh at the most opportune time.
Back to the church council meeting. Four hours later, one of the presiding pastor’s supporters, a man who had gathered enough facts about ‘’the two fighting,’’ stepped up to address the session. With sweet passion, he reported that his daughter had narrated how a young girl from the village had abused him so badly and how he wanted the church to call her father’s attention. It was pure fiction but the pastor fell for it, screaming: ‘’why did your daughter not beat her up mercilessly to teach her respect?’’
Calmly, the man announced that his daughter in his fictitious story was actually the pastor’s son in real life. ‘’If you don’t gerrit, forgerrrit.’’ The meeting fell into a trance as if ice water had been poured on all present. At the end, a prodigal father was born -a first!
Real-life story number five: a village head called a meeting of family heads and insulted the living daylights out of a trio who had attended the wedding of the daughter of a deposed family head. He ranted to no end how he was no longer sure of their loyalty, seeing they had gone to dine with his enemy. All three went on their knees begging, men; fathers of people. A week later, the way life likes to happen sometimes, the village head himself was deposed by the state governor and the family head, deposed by the village head, was named successor.
Fearing for the skeleton in the cupboard, the lion village head having lost his position started running up and down, coaxing the same threesome he had publicly slammed for ‘’dining with’’ his enemy to reconcile him with that same enemy. Life is a player. Life serves you your breakfast puke for supper and ensures you enjoy it. This is a lesson for current holders of the yam and the knife.
We move: just last Friday, Facebook came on my radar yet again. A boss who thought himself strict had sacked a single mother for being late the third time in one week. He felt good over the decision up until when he overheard two members of staff discussing the lady’s very sad situation. Having been too busy all along to prove his strictness, how was he to know that the lady with her six-month son spent every night in a rickety car having been ejected from a house she could no longer afford following the sudden departure of her husband?
Personal guilt threw boss man into a mental jail. He could not believe that a believer like himself could work for Satan sans knowing. Desperate to redeem himself, he went looking for her, found her, apologised, heard her out, reinstated her, gave her a raise and in addition got her a home. Beware though, not many of these stories end this sweetly.
Up close and personal, here is one of my many. About two months ago, a friend who dispenses the law and I had a social appointment. Since he had visited, I was to return the favour. Somehow, the eve of the planned meeting, an emergency had occurred which necessitated me abandoning a live radio show.
I spent the next two nights in a hospital, totally disoriented. Out the third day, I decided to get back on my ritualistic morning walk and finding myself in his street, I decided to stop over. The law dispenser dressed me down right in front of his gateman; how I had kept him waiting the other day; how he thought I was more than that.
Well, after he finally took me inside and noticing I had said nothing, he put the question: ‘’that wasn’t the you I know, what happened that you couldn’t even call to cancel?’’ Quietly, I apologised and added, ‘’my five month old daughter was in hospital and only just got discharged this morning.’’ The strong man was all-emotions throughout that meeting. I relearnt to always hear people out before I react!
You have heard that someone said something nasty against your family or interest or you? If gossip is such a big deal to you, ask them first. You know that someone committed an offence, still: listen to them first before the sentencing. You know that the culprit is always like that: still: listen to them first because sometimes -most times, really- there is a good reason for a bad action.
If you act or react sans having heard the other side, you cast the first stone foolishly -like Satan’s rep. Although you suspect your child or your protégé, give them benefit of the doubt -hear them out, first. If it is your spouse or colleague, the rule is the same -never react without having first discussed exhaustively with them. Even if it’s a known criminal or enemy who is involved, never act or react sans hearing directly from them first.
The way Covid-19 messed up life, there’s nobody alive who has it all covered. Many people are dealing with excruciating lack. For others, it might be abominable injustice while some may be battling against an incurable disease or two. Understand that anger or falsehood or ignorance or knowledge or mistake might force otherwise sane people to do or say insane things.
Therefore, learn to hear people out first. Never react in haste. Well, except you work for Satan. And, if you can’t give people benefit of the doubt, at least never punish them over things you have not heard their side of the story even if you think you have all the evidence in the world.
Evidence is not the sole determinant of anything. The mob who arrested the woman caught in adultery had evidence. Perhaps, they didn’t. Jesus -the final judge- never sought it.
My Bible tells me that the woman -a lawful captive- was freed instanta to the shame of the hypocritical mob. When Jesus heard her out, He changed her story from impending death to eternal life. Man should learn from the Master and spread love not hate.
God bless Nigeria!