By Vera Wisdom-Bassey
Chief (Mrs) Aderonke Elegushi, the Yeye Tobalashe of Ikateland, is a retired Nigerian diplomat, who worked in six foreign countries for 35 years. She is the first wife of a Lagos White Cap Chief and prince of Ikateland Chief Ifasegun Elegushi, an uncle to Oba Saheed Elegushi of Ikateland.
Chief (Mrs) Aderonke Elegushi is also a former President of the Lion’s Club, Ikate.
In this interview, she narrated how she met her husband, her time at the foreign mission, and her charity works, among others.
How did you meet your husband?
Our meeting was just by providence because I just came in from abroad. I was in the foreign ministry. In one of my times in Nigeria, as a diplomat, that was when our former president, Muhammadu Buhari, was the military Head of State. I had been hearing of Maroko when I was young, but I never knew Maroko. When we went to Bar Beach, we would not come to this side. But one day, some said they had opened up Maroko, let’s go and see what is happening there. So, I came to this area to buy land and that was how I met my husband, I bought land and he ‘bought’ me. That was in 1985.
When I was in Germany, he was in Berlin with me throughout. But when his brother became king – our former king before the incumbent king – he had to come back home because he had to stay with him as the White Cap Chief. We have been married for 39 years.
What did you do in the foreign office?
I was a foreign service officer. I am French literate, and I was a bilingual secretary and administrative attaché. When we came out of the university, we were posted to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs then. Fortunately or unfortunately, we were posted to French-speaking places or Germany. So, I served in six countries, five of which are Francophone countries.
So, Nigeria gained from us what they sent us to study. And up till now even when I have retired, I work for the Lagos Chamber of Commerce. I introduced their products in French.
What have you been doing since your retirement?
I retired very early because I started work at 19 and retired at 54, after 35 years. I came home and opened a school in Ikate here and I was doing translation and interpreting. Then, I went into humanitarian services, because I was still strong and agile. I belong to Lion’s Club International, Red Cross, and so many others. I am also a Christian and I attend our Saviours Church, TBS. I belong to the elderly ministry. I also don’t forget my family; my family is my priority. I just registered a club which is Ikate Elegushi Queens Charity Club, where we help people. From January to March, we help widows and the underprivileged. We give them between N20,000 and N30,000 to start up a business. Then from April to June, we help schoolchildren who want to do their SSCE or GCE exams. We paid for two children, because we are not big yet. This is what we can afford for now. We feed the hungry. We go to bus stops to give them food. Not cooked food, but what they can cook on their own.
We feed the elderly. We go to markets to help. We extend our hands to those between 60 and 65 years. We give them medications, do awareness treatment for them on where to go for their medication, check their blood pressures, etc. We bring in specialised doctors to check them, include checking their eyes. For those who are old, we go to old people’s homes to visit them. Some of them are at Yaba. We even take some of them to the seaside to release their stress of being alone, and play old school music of any language in Nigeria. I thank God for my husband’s family. They tolerate me and I too go according to their wishes. I cannot do whatever they don’t like. They allow me to be a Christian. They tolerate me, and I tolerate them too. I thank God.
When you said, you are like fish out of water, what did you mean?
I never knew Eti-Osa, though I was born and bred in Lagos. I attended Methodist Secondary School, My father was from Epe, and we used to go through Ikorodu to Epe. But then, I never knew that anything existed here other than the Bar Beach. So, I never had an idea of their mentality. I didn’t even know all these things they do. I thought it was in Ijebu that they do all this Oro and all that, until I came to this area.
That is why I said, there are some things I don’t understand till now. But I still have to behave well. There is nothing I can do than to control myself and please my husband’s people.
You’re a royalty, but you’re outgoing. Why did you follow that line?
Number one, I am exposed. I am not trying to be complacent. Once you are exposed, there is no way you can cover yourself. In most of the embassies that I worked, I was always the social secretary and I was the one who prepared everything for our ambassadors, even having meetings with them. I also speak German, and I am the type of person who does not believe in just staying in one place. My friends know me. I don’t think I can stay 10 minutes with you without talking.
What do you do in your leisure?
In all the countries I’ve been to, I try to improve myself. I don’t gossip, but I can’t sit down without doing anything. On my phone, there is a novel there; I read about five chapters before I sleep. I have to visit so many places and be part of what people do. I am no more making children and I am no more working. And even if I do, I don’t work till five. I have to enjoy myself. I don’t think I can stop being busy until when God calls me home. I don’t pray that I would be blind or have a stroke. So, it is only when you have a stroke that you have to stop. When you are alive, you have to be versatile and be busy, and vibrant. I do some things to please myself. Since I was born, I have never quarrelled with anyone. Even when we talk and there is an argument, or something that makes you a bit betrayed, the next day I will greet you. I don’t keep malice with anybody. I meet a lot of people every day; sometimes before 11 o’clock every day, many people would have called me and then I ask God to give me the strength to carry out all that they are calling me for. Most times, I read the Bible too on the phone.
How do you get funding for your humanitarian activities?
Well, in our club, sometimes we solicit, we write to some people, we do what we call investiture. Some people come and donate. Even myself I do give as well with the little money I have. Sometimes, I do tell my husband and he does help me too, and sometimes the little rent money I gather I give because I don’t believe in packing money in the bank. When death happens, are you sure the bank will tell you how much you have with them? No. What you can do now is what you can do with your money, Sometimes, your children may not even need the money. Look, I see most of my colleagues, who have houses, their children may not live there. They prefer to live in Lekki, Banana Island. When some of them die, while still in the mortuary, their children would sell the house, just for them to go and get a house in Lekki or to relocate abroad.
We used to believe in those days that keeping money in the bank for our children is the best. But you see, things are changing today. Think of yourself, and make sure one-third of that money, you keep for yourself. If you are single, have no husband, no child, then go on holiday. Leave your house sometimes, go to a good hotel, stay one week there. Enjoy yourself and come back home. Don’t just sit down and talk to the maids, your security men, no. If you have the funds, go on a boat cruise.
You seem to love it…
I think boat cruising is one of the things Nigerians should be doing because we are surrounded by water. From Lagos State to Calabar, to Ghana, they should be doing it. There is a coastal line here, which is very good. I can go to Calabar very safely. When l was in Lions Club, we went on excursions to Ghana. Thank God I did not fly, we went by one of those luxurious buses. If you see the sea – we passed Cotonou, passed Lome, you will not know you’re in Africa.
When I was in France, l have seen the seaside. All those places we passed, they are beautiful. They have water. Even, if it is Calabar, let us go there. We should be seeing the sea, not using houses to cover them.
You were once a Lion’s Club Chapter president. What was it like?
Yes, I was a chapter president. We started in 2007. I dropped the towel four years ago. I served for 13 years – from 2007-2020. The chapter president sees to the wellbeing of the club. Even the Queens Lion Club, everything was under me. We built a library for a secondary school at my mother’s place. Even in 2008, when we wanted to go to a Lion’s International Conference in Chicago, the boy that was helping us with our papers at the American Embassy and all that was young. And I asked him, what are you doing here? He said he just wrote his school certificate examination. He wanted to go to the university. How much was it then? I asked him to go and do his JAMB, and I sent him to Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife. When he was doing his Masters, he lived in my house. Luckily for us, his parents are from Ife, so we did not need to do much about his house issues. I also provide free accommodation to people. One was working in the bank, and another in an insurance company. Some came from Epe, Ikeja, and they were paying up to N5,000 a day for transport from where they live to work.
So, they stay here till Fridays, go back home on weekends and come back again on Mondays. They stay in my guest room. I don’t know them but friends directed them to me to help accommodate them.
What is your advice to women?
Every woman should respect herself. Be somebody that people will respect and go for advice. You must take care of your home. A woman can manage. If you have been eating big, try to minimise it. Don’t waste food. Think of others. Be strong as a woman. Your husband may not have a job, don’t criticise him. No matter how bad it is, find a way, find a job. If you have to teach, go ahead and teach. For the children, know about them, especially the girl child. Don’t leave them on their own. Be a friend of your children. Always try to talk to your children, even the boys, on how to behave. Educate them on sex and how to respect people.