Women and Strait of Hormuz

Deep down under the White House, the official residence of the President of the United States, the complex in Washington, District of Columbia, known as 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, President Donald Trump sat in the Situation Room with his Cabinet and other advisers and ordered a military operation against Iran in late February 2026.

In response to the heavy bombing by US and Israeli jets, Iran closed the Strait of Hormuz, a very vital waterway through which tankers pass to deliver 20 percent of the global crude oil needed by countries in the world.

Iran mined the waterway, thereby preventing the cargo ships from passing through the Strait of Hormuz. Since then, Trump has screamed, cajoled, threatened and even sent more waves of US Air Force jets to bomb the country, in an attempt to force Iran to reopen the strait, without success.

In similar fashion, an increasing number of married women have become like Iran. They have shut down their ‘Strait of Hormuz’ and declared, ‘No Deal’ despite the huff and bluster of their husbands, like Donald Trump has been doing for the past five months and three weeks. The powerful man who egotistically believed that defeating Iran and bringing down the regime would take just a week has been left practically begging for a deal to end the war. Back here, husbands whose wives have mined their Strait of Hormuz and turned deaf ears to their pleas have been secretly and earnestly hoping for someone to serve as a mediator who their wives would regard and respect, if a genuine marital truce is to be achieved and the ‘Strait of Hormuz’ reopened. 

About two weeks ago, an interesting spectacle played out in a Pentecostal church, where a family friend invited me to attend a birthday thanksgiving service. In the course of the service, the presiding pastor led the congregation through a prayer session. As he was about concluding the prayer, he said, “May that wall of Jericho fall down in Jesus name.”

The congregation responded with a thunderous “Amen” which I noticed was loudest from the section where the men sat. Instantly, I sensed that the men had received the prayer as a therapy. Their ‘amen’ clearly came from long suffering of sexual denial. The Pastor continued: “Women under my voice today, why do you build a brick wall and block your husband’s access to the Promised Land? Why?”

There was pin-drop silence. I noticed a couple beside me. The woman tried to adjust her son’s neck, but the husband touched her to concentrate. “Did God create you to be a stumbling block to a man’s inheritance? I command every demonic emotion telling you to deny your husband sex, be destroyed in the name of Jesus.” A roaring ‘Amen’ followed suit. “Yes, it has gotten this bad. We need to do something spiritually to solve the problem,” the young pastor said.

The Pastor screamed:  “My ears are blocked. Many men come to me with marital complaints, seeking counseling on what to do. I must not keep quiet anymore. Women hear me: it is a sin for spouses to deny each other sexual pleasures. Therefore, that wall of Jericho must fall down. God be merciful to you as you turn into a new leaf and give your husbands the right of passage.

Truly, the complaint about women locking up their engine room is increasing. From East, West, North and South the story is the same everywhere. Most marriages are experiencing dryness because of deep emotional disconnection, se vere physical exhaustion, stress or unmet needs. When a woman feels like a flatmate or house manager rather than a cherished partner, her easiest escape route is to lock up emotionally and physically. Past arguments and hurt feelings create barriers.  Take the case of newly wedded Edith and Kingsley, who had a heated argument over caesarian-section, which led sex avoidance and eventual separation. The couple had visited Kingsley’s mother who welcomed them warmly. Mama showered Edith with prayers. While praying about her giving birth in the near future, the mother-in-law said: “You will follow family tradition and give birth naturally like the women of Hebrew. Cesarean section will not be your portion because it is for lazy women. All the wives married into this family had natural births just as you will have at your time.” Edith carefully said ‘amen’ even as that prayer did not resonate with her.

On the drive back to their home, Edith asked her husband if he took notice of the tone of his mother’s prayer about child delivery. She particularly highlighted the fact that his mother said it is only lazy women that give birth by CS. Kingsley did not see anything wrong with his mother’s postulation. Edith asked again, ‘Are you saying that if in the course of labour, it becomes necessary to save the mother and child through CS, that option should be ignored? He casually said, “Do not worry; you will not be in that league.” The argument took a higher dimension and led to ruffled feathers. From that moment, their sexual life suffered because Madam had locked up because Edith didn’t feel protected by her man.

Interestingly, marital intimacy is a woman’s weapon and pride. Both men and women who understand the importance of a lubricated website tread softly in dealing with their partners. Note that this piece is not about very old women, or women with health challenges, but for the present day crop of women who see it as regular punishment for their men. In some scenarios, these women would sexually chastise their husband in the bedroom only to go out and offer it willingly to another man. Some use sex to get what they want from their men. I once heard about a woman who would say to her husband, “if you are interested in a flight to Jerusalem tonight, buy roasted cow meat (suya) on your way home.” Some other women ask for costly asoebi fabric, Brazilian hair and other things.

I once found myself in the gathering of men, who were sharing their experiences about issues around marital intimacy. “Honestly, there is no other word to describe sexual denial other than wickedness. It is pure mischievous and nothing to qualify it,” one of them said. Really, most men see that sex denial as life threatening. Another of the men explained the advantages of sex to a man. He said: “Some women do not realize that regular sex lowers the risk of heart attacks and strokes. Some do not understand that regular sexual activities raise the heart rate and act like light exercise to strengthen the cardiovascular system.”

Surprisingly, these men were not mincing words but were sharing important life experiences. Though I found myself in their midst, I kept a straight face to flow with the men. A gentle old medical doctor took over and continued: “A woman who denies me sex cannot tell me he loves me. Sex is not just a mere activity, but a spiritual flow that proves both are really one. He stylishly asked, “Have you noticed how sex relieves stress? Sex releases endorphins and oxytocin, which lower stress hormones like cortisol. Apart from stress free, a happy sexed man sleeps like a baby because the hormone prolactin is released during orgasm, helping the body relax into a deeper sleep. Most of the women who deny their men sex do not know the health benefits. That physical intimacy triggers feel-good chemicals in the brain that help fight anxiety and depression. The smart women know and do not deny their men sex because they know the health benefits even as they also enjoy the exploration. The aged women are in a better position to educate the younger ones that sex is beneficial to all, both men and women. “Another adds that all those denial is normally seen when women are through with childbirth and maybe Oga’s generator is also calming down.

In conclusion, while we blame women and encourage them to take it easy with their men in the other room, men should also take stock of themselves. Have old sins passed away, are they willing to go home and sin no more? No woman would be glad to open up herself to a cheating man. Sexually transmitted diseases are still on the prowl.