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In this life, if you don’t know who you are, people will tell you who you are not. I have seen not so good looking people make the beautiful ones feel really ugly about themselves.
They complain that your lips are pink and puffy and your eyes are hazy and unnatural. You are too tall, too fat, and too slim or that your hair is too curly for an adult.
Your palm is too soft like a baby’s bum. You have no sex appeal; your nose is flat when you smile or laugh. Your left leg seem longer than the right one. You are getting darker, or fair almost like an albino etc.
The nonsense they spew is just too numerous to mention. There’s always something wrong with you and not a single compliment no matter how good you look.
They use their insecurities to configure your mind and you fall cheaply. You let them live in your mind, their words echo in your head all day. They tell you that you are not good enough and you believe them.
The narcissistic ones will accuse you of being too polite to people or taking your responsibilities seriously or dreaming big and indirectly making them look bad, incompetent or not good enough.
They accuse you of sucking up for likes or being overly ambitious. They want you to be brash, arrogant, high handed and nonchalant like they are to people, their responsibilities and dreams. They tell you okay to dream big but it is best to not be too ambitious.
These are people who don’t want you to be better. They remind you of all that is wrong with you whether these things are true or lies.
Unfortunately, you carry whatever they tell you about yourself, your level of commitment to your responsibilities and your dreams on your head and you become who you are not. You start to manifest those negative things they tell you.
You start to wallow in self pity. You withdraw from people. You no longer want to socialize. When you are in the midst of people, you just want to disappear and be alone.
People will go as far as getting surgeries done to alter their body parts because of what people said to them about their imperfect bodies. You even start to pursue dreams that are not yours, then quit and return disappointed the more.
This is what you get when you live for people’s approval.
You let their insecurity cloud your sense of reasoning. You begin to feel inadequate about yourself. You forget how special you are. You crave to be like others because of the negative words some insecure persons said to you.
You will never hear the people who list your inadequacies commend you in areas you are doing well, they will just keep listing your imperfections and what you are not doing right. They successfully project their insecurities on you. It actually makes them feel better that you feel the way you do because they are pure narcissists.
I am my own worst critic. I can list my own flaws and we all laugh about it, but will never let you use them against me. You cannot break me because I have mastered loving myself.
I am intelligent, rational, beautiful, smart, passionate, compassionate, principled, tall, x-legged and chubby. I even wobble like a duck when I walk and I know all these already, so you cannot tell me anything that will mess with my head.
No one else will see you better than you see and carry yourself. Have you ever met people and wished to be like them? It doesn’t matter that you are doing 100% better than them and it doesn’t matter if you look better. You wish you were like them because they carry this air of knowing who they are. Their confidence level is top notch and they leave you in total awe. Such people don’t allow negativity get into their heads.
The world is highly competitive today and more challenging and the fact that you failed at a task does not make you a failure. Don’t get depressed and let insecure people play with you. It is okay to have moments of self doubt because things are not going as planned, but when you start to lose faith in yourself, then, the source of such feeling must be tackled first.
Be careful how often you take people’s words to heart. If you lack confidence in yourself, insecure and narcissistic people will exploit and manipulate you. They will tell you it is okay to dream big but not too big. They will encourage you to remain mediocre.
Stop taking decisions about your life to please people. Start doing things they tell you is impossible. All the energy, power, courage, strength and confidence is within you to achieve great things. True happiness comes from within regardless of people’s approval or disapproval.
Spend time with yourself to access and master your mind through meditation and activities that make you trust in yourself again. This includes cutting ties with those who make you feel less. Your brain only believes what you tell it about yourself the most.
You deserve your own self-approval and supportive self-talk, not another man’s.
