After child delivery, when people ask for the gender, most of the time, they want to hear that it is a boy. Some of them, especially the Igbos, are reserved if it is a girl. In the past, some men might sell their houses to send their sons to study abroad or in Nigerian universities but would hardly extend the gesture to their daughters. In the same manner, whether a man made a will or not, only his sons would inherit his property. We thank God for the Yoruba man, who, all the time, allows all his children, irrespective of their gender, to share his property. Today, Ndigbo have joined gloriously.
During the Bible time, when the number of people, either in the family or community, was mentioned, it referred only to men. It was likely that Adam and Eve had daughters.
I was raised in a village where the men were moderately rich and more lettered than their counterparts in the community. What made many of them great was not product of their investment in their sons’ education but curiously from their daughters, despite the moderate education they received. In my house, we do not discriminate. Our sons and daughters have equal rights. There is thus no special child. We have more Nigerian women in prominent positions in Nigeria and they have excelled and still excelling.
Women have the gift of commitment in whatever responsibility that is given to them. It is not limited to only good things. It stretches, even in evil things, unless they are guided properly. This explains why any armed robbery gang that involves a woman is usually bloody.
Mary, in John 20, went to the tomb to anoint the body of the Lord Jesus. She did not expect Him to be alive, yet, she went there to honour His dead body. That was true love. Some people labour only where they know that they will be appreciated or rewarded. Would a dead Jesus reward her?
It is important to note that she went very early in the morning when it was still dark. It is a challenge to us that love for Jesus constrained her not to be afraid, though she was going to the burial ground before dawn. Do you go late to work, church service, church programmes, family meetings, et cetera, pleading the Lagos traffic situation as your excuse? No excuse justifies lateness. It is a bad habit.
Mary found the tomb empty. What would she then do: go home or go and report to Peter? A person who went there only to fulfil obligations, would rather go home and congratulate herself for the effort she has put in. Not Mary! Only love could compel her to task herself more, by taking the information to Peter. That was Mary! She did that, not by walking but running that morning. John was there in Peter’s house. Perhaps, it was Mary that woke them up from sleep!
This is what a dutiful wife should be doing in handling issues. Mary did not blame Peter and John for anything. She did not exaggerate what she did. She saw herself only as an unprofitable servant. They all left for the tomb, but the men outran her. She did not begrudge them. John later outran Peter. Peter was not angry. If prizes were given, Peter and John would have been honoured for arriving at the tomb before Mary. God would award the prize, however, to Mary, who started the race! In the family, industry, church, nation, etc, men, all the time, outrun women. This should not bother you. May you not complain. There is a place for women!
My dear sisters, have you ever sat down to consider why God gave you the responsibility of being your husband’s ‘help meet’? This is the unique position God has placed you. He knows our limitation as men and that is why He gives us wives, who will be helping us.
Pilate’s wife, Claudia, though her name is not written in the Bible, was a child of God. She understood this role, and risked her life, therefore, to intervene during justice, during her husband’s trial of Jesus – Matt. 27:19. He ignored her. It did not matter. She had played her role. Today, in most churches, you hear every Sunday, “He (Jesus) suffered under Pontius Pilate”. She would have saved her spouse from this!
Job’s wife, on the other hand, wanted to help him to go to hell. “Dost thou still retain thy integrity? Curse God and die,” she advised him – Job 2:9. A wife is to rally round her spouse in crisis and with her beautiful hand round his neck, she should encourage him with the Word of God. King Ahab came back home one morning, sad and would not eat his breakfast because Uncle Naboth refused to sell his family land to him. Jezebel, his wife, rebuked him for not acting like a king. “I will give the land to you,” she promised him, and it was by murdering Naboth. And she did! But they paid for it.
Sisters, whose wife, from the details above, are you? Do you talk or act when your spouse is keeping quiet? Is he too slow for you by not sending away that your awful maid? Is he a coward by not slapping back when his brother slapped him? For the virtuous wife of Prov. 31, her spouse trusted her for doing him good, not evil all the days of his life. He was known in the gates because of her, sitting among the elders; she would open her mouth with wisdom, making her children and spouse, to be calling her ‘blessed’. Is that you?
It is a known fact that it is the neck that carries the head. We, men, take much pride that we are the head of the family and we are, indeed, but the head cannot stand alone. It is the neck that carries it. It is the wife that carries the head.
During the crucifixion of Jesus – John 20 – the disciples, all men, ran away. We may not blame them, but Aunty Mary Magdalene and other women were there, watching from a distance. Well, it might be risky for their spouses to be there. There are things, therefore, that women can do, which their husbands may not. In those days, if my driver was arrested by the police, my wife would go to the police station, requesting to see the DPO. “What’s the problem, Ma?” They would ask her. “Don’t you have a DPO?” She would ask again. With their pleading, she would disclose her mission and the matter would end there. I would not be able to do that. If you open your eyes, you can identify such responsibilities in your home, office, and in the church. There is a place for women!
For further comment, Please contact: Osondu Anyalechi: 0909 041 9057; [email protected]