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By Obiotika W. Toochukwu
Across the world, young people are growing up in an increasingly complicated social environment. They are expected to succeed, become financially independent, make good relationships, resist peer pressure, navigate social media, understand sexuality, survive economic hardship and somehow remain emotionally stable while carrying burdens that many adults themselves struggle to manage. Nonetheless, when a young person begins to break down under this pressure, society often asks the wrong question. Creditably, it is established from findings and psychological inquisition that behind every aggression is fear; behind withdrawal is humiliation, behind substance abuse is unbearable emotional pain, behind unusual sexual behavior is exploitation, confusion or previous trauma and behind persistent rebellion is a desperate search for autonomy, acceptance or safety. Still, it does not mean every difficult behaviour is caused by trauma, nor does it excuse harmful conduct. It means that responsible adults should learn to look beyond the behaviour and investigate the circumstances surrounding it.
Young people possess enormous energy, imagination and courage and youth is also a period of transition. Here, identity is developing, independence is being negotiated, friendships become extremely important, while parental authority may be questioned. The desire to belong can become so powerful that an individual may accept dangerous relationships simply because someone appears to understand them. Often, this vulnerability has been exploited and abused. A manipulator rarely introduces himself as an abuser. He may present himself as a friend, benefactor, lover, mentor, employer, spiritual guide or influential protector. He may promise money, employment, academic assistance, political connections, healing, protection or social advancement. The relationship may initially appear generous before subsequent conditions that make a favour become a debt; secrets become weapons, financial assistance become control, affection becomes sexual pressure, advice becomes intimidation while guaranteed protection becomes surveillance. Eventually, the young person discovers that what looked like an opportunity was actually a trap.
Economic hardship makes young people particularly vulnerable to promises of sudden transformation. Here, there are silences that speak louder than the noise of a crowded Nigerian street in which the silence of the teenager who suddenly stops laughing with his friends could be looked beyond sympathy. The silence of the young girl who no longer wants to return home or the silence of the boy who has become aggressive, withdrawn or perpetually suspicious; even the silence of the young person who has discovered that the very adults entrusted with protection can sometimes become the source of fear. We often call such children stubborn; call them wayward and conclude that they have joined bad friends. We blame social media; blame poor parenting, bad schools, Western influence or, sometimes, spiritual forces.
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Surely, this could mark the beginning of a more humane Nigeria. Young people everywhere are living through a difficult passage into adulthood. In Nigeria, that journey is often made more complicated by unemployment, poverty, academic pressure, family conflict, domestic violence, peer pressure, social inequality and the seductive display of instant wealth. A young person is expected to succeed quickly in a society where opportunities are often scarce and the distance between aspiration and reality can be painfully wide. It is within this gap that manipulators operate. The exploiter rarely arrives wearing a badge announcing his intentions. He may come as a benefactor with a generous hand, a lover with sweet words, a political godfather with promises, a supposed spiritual guide with mysterious answers, or an older friend who appears to understand the frustrations of youth.
Nigeria›s young people are not lacking in ambition, rather they want education, meaningful work, financial security, love, recognition and a chance to escape hardship. There is nothing wrong with these desires but the danger lies in the shortcuts offered to satisfy them. Across communities, young people can be exposed to fraudulent schemes, exploitative relationships, criminal networks, substance abuse and coercive groups that promise wealth or influence without the patience, discipline and legitimate opportunity normally required to achieve them.
In some circumstances, traditional or religious beliefs can also be manipulated by individuals seeking money, power or sexual access. Fear can be turned into currency. A vulnerable person can be told that prosperity requires a secret initiation, that protection requires a dangerous ritual, or that suffering is proof of spiritual warfare. Such exploitation should not be confused with legitimate faith, culture or tradition. A society can respect its religious and cultural heritage while firmly rejecting violence, coercion and abuse committed in its name.
• Obiotika Wilfred Toochukwu, public affairs commentator, writes from Ekwulobia, Anambra State. Nigeria.
