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Now, tell me, who’s a Smart Alec? I ask AI. The response is precise, unambiguous. Free from frivolities and trivialities:
“A ‘Smart Alec’ or ‘Smart Aleck’ is not a person, it’s an expression.
“It means someone who thinks he knows everything and shows it off in an irritating, rude way.” Its origin:
“It came from the 1840s in New York, USA, from a real petty thief named Alec Hoag who was clever at tricking people. People started calling any annoying know-it-all a ‘Smart Alec Hoag,’ then just ‘Smart Alec.’”
And it sticks till date. A natural follow-up flows seamlessly from that. Why should a Smart Alec campaign? He shouldn’t and mustn’t. He has no business doing that.
He’s exceedingly far and above all others. He knows it all. Because he claims to see it all. That’s the trajectory of the only Smart Alec in our midst. Arguably. One of the queerest on this Planet Earth.
To make a hopeless matter messier. Our Smart Alec is in a wonderland of his own. He’s a ruler and a reigner at the same time. He rules and reigns at equal defining intensity.
This Smart Alec is uncanny. You can’t pick his ilk effortlessly from any shelf. Not in a common market. He’s scarce and rare. An epitome of eerie audacity. And weird guts.
Our president is raging, raving. Simply on rampage for the wrong reasons. Good reason cannot tame him any longer.
He made 2023. And he must make 2027. So? Who says President Bola Tinubu must campaign? He dares it not. A Smart Alec is the campaign himself. That’s what he proudly prides himself on. The electioneering itself. Campaigners who are self-conceited fall over one another. Picking odd lessons from him.
The fairy tale is too fictitious to be swallowed. Hook, line and sinker. You can’t grab a word of it. Not even a letter to be taken seriously. Every line is a gamble. Each sentence is a falsehood. Believe it, you believe anything.
Yet, it’s becoming a stark reality. Happening in our wonder clime. Wild weird world. And speedily too. What stranger than fiction it is!
All the same. It’s a useful illusion. Figment invention. Perhaps, the reason Tinubu invests heavily in it. He throws himself wholeheartedly into it. He blindly puts all his eggs in a badly loose basket. He feels every inch on top of the riotous chaos.
We never thought or imagined. He could play his politics. The one he knows how to play the best, that direction.Soaked deep in obsequious flattery. Tinubu is lost to his party’s shenanigans. He flaunts them to the hilt.
Take a solemn listen to him here. It was at the All Progressives Congress (APC) campaign council inauguration. Right inside Aso Rock. Where he is holed up. His exact words:
“I thank the Secretary of the Council and the Chairman of the Progressive Governors’ Forum, Governor Hope Uzodimma (of Imo State), for all the commendable things he has done.
“I do not take your trust lightly. By the grace of God, I intend to keep faith with you. Earning your trust is extremely important to me.
“You have warned me not to allow the rigours of the campaign to distract me from governance. I hear you, and I am in full agreement with your decision.
“Nigeria needs more attention now than ever before. The responsibilities of this office don’t know no pause. That responsibility did not recognise our agenda here today.
“The Constitution allows INEC to make room for the Parliament but not for the campaign, the job must go on. However, I will still make time to speak directly with Nigerians, even as you lead the campaign in the states and local government areas.”
This is where he is headed. It’s a shocker. An oddity. Now an actuality: “So, you will have to excuse me from going everywhere with you.” Why? His feigned defence:
“We have bills to pay. The American creditors cannot wait. We want those investors to come in, stay and invest in the future of our children.”
The “politricks” of his intention is obvious. It’s graphically displayed. With the usual and known grandstanding: “Let the word go out from this hall to every corner of our nation; the APC is ready.”
Somebody who once claimed power is not served a lar carte. But you grab it, run with it. And do whatever you deem fit with it. What has changed?
He’s now dead scared of electioneering. He can no longer face the rigours of campaign. Excusing himself from campaigning. He now wants that power served a la carte. And still run amiss with it. Who does that?
It was alleged long ago. Those obnoxious figures flying in our space have been tagged. Packaged and allocated as 2027 election results. We are discerning enough to know that the figures would keep rising until the final day.
With all these. And all institutional structures safely in the armpit of the Presidency. The President could still be this; jittery, nervous, spooky, unsettling. And even frightening.
Where’s the a lar carte courage of 2023? Has that bravery left him? So soon? We ponder: Why should a president so powerful as ours; so “smart” as Alec; wise as a serpent; and at the same time, be lily-livered in this ridiculous manner?
Fiery National Chairman, Peoples Redemption Party (PRP), Hakeem Baba-Ahmed, is aflame. And he won’t deny it. Tinubu is his prey. He hits him solidly hard on his odd choice to skip campaign rallies.
He blows hot in a post via his handle: “@PBAT says Nigerians should not expect to see him extensively hustling for votes.
“He will be busy running a country he had run aground, while his appointees run around the country begging Nigerians to elect him again. Nigerians are not expecting to see him, nor are we surprised.”
We should not let this stick. It shouldn’t become a norm. It can’t in any way be an added value. But a monumental minus. It mustn’t be so. And it will not be so.
This must not stand. If it’s your choice not to campaign. Then you’re not in the race ab initio. You are not running any race either. You can’t be in a competition and you elect not to compete.
This is a presidential race. You have no viable option than to run the race. You have no luxury of running that by proxy. Or mere affirmation. You are the horse we want to watch in this race. We must hear it from the horse’s mouth. And directly too.
If you’re unaware. You are the main character in this electioneering drama. You can’t yield this huge responsibility to your foot soldiers. No aspirant to any office can do that. Not even under any circumstances.
Our politicians, rulers are variously dubious. They think they are forever ahead of us. They strive in vain to spring surprises with anything. No matter how ridiculous.
In the process, they miss the missing links. And goof all the way ceaselessly. Particularly, the extremely daft among the bunch. And they will arrogantly pride themselves as being smart.
Those evil ones are desperate. They are taking this politics and its politicking to a most dangerous realm. How can you want to rule and opt not to talk to us directly? That’s selfish. It’s wicked.
Your “millions” of hangers-on are not on the ballot paper. None of them does. It’s strictly only you. We don’t want to be suspicious. Do not give a dirty room to that. Don’t confirm our fear. Don’t make it real, genuine, authentic. We don’t want to believe all we hear or even see.
Help! Nigeria is drifting fast. Far more than Alice’s wonderland. It has moved fastest and farthest beyond that.
Still moving with the speed of light. It appears there’s no stopping it. Either now or in the near future. We’re in a clime of our own. A homegrown of some sordid sort. Proudly Nigeria? Courtesy of our greedy politicians.
This is an onslaught against democracy. Sadly enough, the President is ferociously leading the war. We’re pinned and pained. Electioneering is a serious business all over the globe. It’s the bedrock of democracy. Campaign prepares you for governance. It makes politics thick and tick.
Without rigorous electioneering. Politicking is drab, dry, dull, bored and empty. It’s the essence of government. The reason you’re in power.
He who’s scared of campaigning, has no place in politics. All these do not fit Tinubu’s bill. Why should any aspirant dodge electioneering?
The reason we must insist. His stance must not stand. How can an aspiring president, sitting or not, refuse to talk to us, the voters? How does he want us to make a fair choice, without fear and favour?
He should search into our wild, weird history. From the era of self-government, aka pre-independence, 1952-1959. Run through with due diligence. The First Republic, 1960-1966. The Second Republic, 1979 to 1983. And even the still-born Third Republic 1991-1993.
Nothing of such bizarre ideas was ever contemplated. No candidate for any election. And at whatever level ever dreamt that dream. Or had that brainwave.
Tinubu can then travel abroad. On a fact-finding mission. Make it another investment drive. Or at worst, medical tourism. Specifically, where we mis-borrowed our type of government.
Go through files and documents. Study them with an open mind. You will discover to your disgust. Snubbing campaign is a nightmare. And should remain in that evil realm. Please, don’t try it.
If by commission and/or commission. Tinubu is obliged to have his way. The 2027 presidential poll may be a done doom. Why? It will be painfully walked on its head. Not on the comfort of its two legs. With excruciating anguish and self-inflicted affliction.
And the ultimate result! The figures they’re gathering now will be so embarrassing and bogus. That election will be a mere affirmation.
Take it or dump it. The choice is yours!
