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• Clash against male child preference in Nigerian cultures persists
• Sociologists: Many women now breadwinners
By Ngozi Nwoke
Billionaire industrialist Aliko Dangote said it plainly at a business forum in Abuja that he has no regrets about not having sons.
“My daughters are supporting my vision and my legacy. They are the ones in the business, they are the ones running things. For me, that is enough.”
The comment went viral within hours. For many Nigerians on social media, it was refreshing. For many others, it sounded awkward because in many Nigerian homes, the male preference culture still existed.
For some men, having only girls still feels like having “no child” until a male heir is born. The pressure starts after the childbirth, down to the naming ceremony. It continues at family meetings. It becomes an issue when land, business names, and ancestral titles are being discussed.
But a quiet shift is gradually happening. Women are now pushing back. Fathers are rethinking, the state government is putting it into law. Daughters are proving that they valuable too, and can carry a family’s name, vision, and future, with or without a son.
Churchill Kalagbor is a civil engineer in Lagos. He and his wife, Ada, have three girls: Chisom, 14, Zina, 11, and Ifeoma, seven. He loves them.
“Every December when we go to the village in Anambra, my uncles will corner me and ask when I’m giving them a boy. They ask who will pour libation for my father? Who will keep the family name and so on? The questions used to keep him up at night. There was a time I actually considered a fourth child, hoping for a boy, but my wife cried and asked me if our girls not enough. That question broke me.”
What changed him was watching his eldest daughter helping him with basic AutoCAD drawings and correcting him on a structural calculation at 14 years old.
“Legacy used to mean a son carrying my surname. Now legacy means the values I leave. Who will remember me? My girls will. And they will do it well.”
“The pressure hasn’t stopped. But my answer to pressure from relatives when they ask about a boy, I tell them that God gave me three CEOs. What more do you want?”
James Raphael, Founder of the Centre for Research, Information and Media Development, (CRIMMD), says he is raising his son and two daughters as equal successors with the same access, expectations and responsibility to lead.
“For me, my children are equal, male or female. It doesn’t shift my love or my trust in them. I raise them both to stand tall, because when my time steps back, the world won’t just see them, they’ll see me through them.”
The researcher, author, publisher and curator said he has brought both children into the work from an early age so leadership will be natural when he steps back. “When I’m not there, and they step in, it’s not because I told them to cover for me. It’s because they already know how to carry it,” he said.
Raphael said he has watched them handle meetings, make calls and settle disputes with calm, adding that they are learning the weight of leadership.
On inheritance, he said he is raising his daughter the same way as his son. “I’ve seen women lead nations, run empires, change history. I’m raising my daughters like I raise my son: to lead, to decide, to own her space.
“When the day comes, I want both of them to take over my companies, not as rivals, but as partners. I’m not building a throne for one. I’m building a team,” Raphael said.
He added that in his home, the only thing that comes first is age, not gender or preference.
Beyond assets, Raphael said he wants his children to inherit values. “I want them to inherit the way we do things, with respect, with balance, with no room for ego.
“This family doesn’t run on ‘either/or.’ It runs on both and you don’t have to be the loudest to lead, you don’t have to be the firstborn to matter, and you don’t have to be a man to rule. That’s the legacy I’m building, not just in what they’ll own, but in how they’ll carry it.”
Olufemi Awonaiya, 66 years old, is an accountant in Abeokuta. He and his wife have two daughters: Temilade, 28, a doctor, and Bukola, 25, a lawyer, both based in the United Kingdom.
After two daughters, Awonaiya did not try again for another child. His wife had complications during the second birth and the doctors advised against more pregnancies.
“At my 60th birthday, my eldest daughter gave a speech. She said I taught her and her sister that character is inheritance and service is legacy. I cried.
“Legacy is not only a male child. Legacy is who shows up when you are sick, who buries you with honour, who tells your story. My daughters do all that.
“I still hear the old comments about not trying for a male child with another woman. But I no longer flinch. I used to think I failed because I had no son. Now I think I succeeded because I raised two women who are not afraid of anything.”
Azaniah Nwoke, a father of three sons and three daughters, said the practice of prioritising male children across many Nigerian families is rooted in concerns about family legacy and future needs, not in hatred toward daughters.
Nwoke explained that the reason males are more valued and regarded in some homes is tied to the continuity of the family name.
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“The reason males are more valued and regarded is because of maintaining the family’s name and legacy. The females get married and start their own family. They don’t need distractions from catering to matters from their father’s house.”
He also pointed to property rights within marriage as a factor. “Also, legally they are the lone owner of husband’s property once married, while the males get a share from their father among other kids, if at all their father left properties for them to inherit.
“Many parents believe sons require more support to handle life’s responsibilities. Parents feel that males need more assistance for life’s battles and burdens. The practice of not including females in the inheritance is not from hatred but from perceived future need,” he said.
Margaret Meshach was met with an unexpected celebration when she returned home with her fourth child, a baby girl, as neighbours and friends gathered in her house to welcome her and the newborn.
Speaking about the experience, Margaret said the turnout surprised her.
“The day I came back to my house with my fourth girl, it wasn’t up to two hours my neighbours and friends along our street gathered in my house to welcome me. Actually I was surprised. This was the first time this was happening because I had all babies in the same house. Other babies I had, they came one after the other.”
Margaret said she noticed the reactions when she brought out her baby. “When I brought out my baby I noticed how they communicated with eyes, it’s a baby girl. Some were looking at my face to see if I was angry, rather I was dancing and looking so happy.”
She said the idea that a child’s gender determines how a birth should be received is misplaced. “To me, safe delivery and being strong is not child’s play. I later heard some of them arguing when they heard that I gave birth to a baby boy because I wore my baby blue cloth after delivery. And the picture I posted on my WhatsApp convinced them the most. Babies are gifts from God.”
Male preference in Nigeria is not just cultural. It is economic, religious, and historical.
Osakwe Daniel, a sociologist, points to education, urbanisation, and women’s income as the biggest disruptors.
“In many Nigerian societies, sons are seen as social security. They stay in the compound, they inherit land, they perform rites. Daughters marry out. So the calculation has always been to invest in the son, because he stays. But that calculation is breaking down because the economy has changed.
“Today, a daughter in tech in Yaba can send more money home than three sons farming. A daughter who is a doctor in London can build a house in the village. The value proposition has changed, but the culture is lagging behind.”
He added that the emotional cost is high, especially for women.
“We have mothers who are blamed for not producing a boy. We have girls who grow up hearing they are second-class. That creates trauma that lasts generations.”
Hakeem Olaitan, a Professor of Sociologist at Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria, agrees but notes regional differences.
“In the North, the issue is tied to lineage and business continuity. In the East, it is about name and rites. In the West, it is about property. But across all regions, the core idea is the same: permanence. People believe a son makes the family permanent.”
He says Dangote’s comment matters because of who said it.
“When a man like Dangote says his daughters are his legacy, it gives permission. It tells other fathers: you will not lose status if you celebrate your girls. Culture changes when respected people model a different behaviour.”
Franca Attoh, a sociologist from the Department of Sociology, University of Lagos, says the growing number of women in top corporate roles has not ended the male preference culture in Nigerian families, especially in the South East, where cultural practice continues to override the law on inheritance.
“Despite the fact that women are becoming CEOs, top executives, and taking up so manly roles in the corporate industry, it still doesn’t change the male preference. Whereby, in a family, males are regarded more, valued more than females.
“Many women are attaining reputable and respectable positions in society and becoming extraordinary, yet the stereotype of women being less valuable still persists. This is a cultural thing. It is unfortunate, but the reality is that culture supersedes whatever that is on the ground.”
She pointed to recent legal efforts in the region aimed at changing the practice.
“This cultural practice of male preference, unfortunately, supersedes the law. Right now, some state governors in the South East have mandated that daughters inherit or participate in the inheritance of their father’s property. However, one thing is for the law to be made, another major thing is the enforcement of that law.
“It takes a struggle for families to comply, with some women forced to seek legal redress. There are cases where the females even drag some members of the family to court, they drag the case to court, just so that they can partake in what rightfully belongs to theirs.”
Attoh called for stronger measures to address the gap. “This is something that needs more enforcement, more awareness, and more execution.”
In modern families, more parents are giving daughters names like ‘Nwanyi bu ike’ which translates to “a woman is strength.” More fathers are putting daughters on company documents.
As Aliko Dangote said it on a national stage, “My daughters are my legacy.” However, the experts warn that the change will be slow because laws around inheritance are still uneven across states. Customary courts often still favour male heirs. Religion, both Christianity and Islam, is often interpreted to support male preference.
