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Big question: why do some men run to the bottle or prefer to comfort in the cleavage of a side chick, when they are faced with major challenges or setbacks? Shocked by this Big Q? Okay, let us consider the case of Benedict John, who simply began to exist after his bank laid-off 40 per cent of the work force. The exercise affected him. Fortunately, after a short while, he was employed by a new generation bank. But within three years, he was laid-off again. One fateful night, their three-year-old son took ill; he had terrible diarrhoea and high fever. Having no funds at hand to rush the little child to the hospital, he swallowed pride and sought assistance from a neighbour, who drove them to the hospital and paid the initial deposit to rescue the toddler. As they were trying to cope with Junior’s health challenge, a distress call came from the village to inform him of the death of aged father who they had also managed for years after the death of his mother. After receiving that phone call, he walked straight to a drinking joint. As he sat with sadness written all over him, his friends came over and tried to make him cheer up. They quickly ordered some bottles of beer for him. And like fish in water, he gulped the beer without a care in the world.
Change the angle of the camera a little and zoom in on Ndudi Jackson, a businessman, whose commercial venture nose-dived after a midnight fire coupled with a case of forged importation documents. The severe downturn affected his finances, emotion and temperament. Not long after it became known that Jackson was engaged in an illicit affair. The news hit the wife like a bolt of lightning. The affair had a profound effect on her more than the other travails he had experienced. She wondered how he could find the presence of mind to have an affair in the face of the travails that beset him. To say that she was disappointed with him was to say the least. The affair was going on at a time when he could pay the school of his children. He had to write a letter of undertaking to the school management to allow them write the second term examination. He was also contending with other problems. Yet, his wife wondered, he engaged in affair, which only came to light he failed to fulfil the promise he made to the lady, and the bubble burst. The public embarrassment was a Class A type.
So back to our question: why most men run to the bottle or seek solace in illicit sex when they are faced with various challenges? Granted that alcohol is a sedative and depressant that affects the central nervous system. At first, drinking can reduce fears and take one’s mind off troubles. It can help one feel less shy, give a boost to the person’s mood, and generally makes one feel relaxed. Although it is one of the most commonly abused substances, particularly considering the dopamine content. Ask some men and they would tell you that men take alcohol is to reduce tension at the instant moment and avoid violence especially when it affects the home front.
Fred found himself in the saga. He had a heated argument with his wife Rita that almost became physical. He has always warned the wife to allow his young orphaned nephew, who lived with them to have peace. Rita would always grumble and complain. One day Fred could stand it no more and flared up in fiery rage. Day Rita saw a different side of her which she had never seen in eight years of marriage to him. Something terrible could have happened if not that one their neighbours in the compound with four flats came over after he overheard the raised voice of Fred. Both men left the compound and headed to viewing centre, to drink, chat and watch European matches, and spent over four hours. Fred walked home and went straight to bed.
Again, a good number of men prefer drinking at clubs because it fosters bonding and creates a sense of community in men. There is evidence to suggest that the socializing boosts mood by releasing endorphins. Researchers have also said that alcohol consumption can reduce the magnitude of an organism’s response to stress. This reduction is called stress-response-dampening (SRD) and there is some truth that alcohol can reduce stress.
Practically everyone in Nigeria is under economic stress. Really, hard times are here. The cost of living keeps rising daily, leaving families with huge bills to pay, and looking for ways to cut costs. The hard times have not made fun-loving men change their ways. That explains why the number of hotels and viewing centres keeps rising and doing good business. Also, the brothels have not shut down for lack of patronage. Instead, they are booming. It was only during the COVID-19 lockdown did the hotels, viewing and the brothels suspend operations. But once the lockdown was lifted, they bounced back as men and ladies returned to their usual watering holes. The present hard times have not affected alcohol consumption and sex.
How often do you see men enjoy watching soccer tournaments or European football in the comfort of their homes? Or do you think men who watch the matches outside their homes do not have television sets at homes? Most men prefer to go over to viewing centres, which are like meeting points where they bond, share knowledge, introduce business ideas and feel happy generally with bottles of beer and other edibles liberally served with the drinks.
It is such times that you will find Shadrack Ogoibe, a 57-year-old building contractor unwind and share the ‘testimony’ of successful breakthrough. “When I looked at my salary as a university graduate, who was married with four children, I knew that my resources would not give the required family comfort. I resigned my job and began to hustle. I thought about what to do and decided to visit building sites, determined to identify the owners of those projects. Within two months of intense and persistent search I was to get the phone number of the owner of a site and learnt about his favourite drinking joint. I hung there to until we met. After general discussions, I made my first supply of tiles and worked there until the building was completed. That was how I made my first breakthrough in tile sales business,” recalled as he nursed a beer.
This is not advocate for beer consumption but economic fortunes have sometimes been changed through encounters at a social drinking centre. As Michael Ibegbulem opined, men who regularly engage in social drinking find it difficult to commit heinous crimes like rape because they can always find willing females hanging around such places, for a dalliance, A study described those who visit social drinking spots as easy going while the ones who do not are highly temperamental, obscure and badly behaved. There was a story that made the rounds sometime ago about a very well respected and pious Christian who lived in a popular estate on the Island. Information had it that there was no house-help that served his family without being sexually abused by the man of the house to the extent of getting the young girls pregnant.
