Men, before you sow wild oats

Most men who engage in avoidable, careless sexual activities might not understand the dangers and risks involved. As several news reports have shown, casual encounters can lead to unexpected death, especially among men. Cases of men who have lost their lives trying to sow oats will not be forgotten in a hurry. Some studies have shown that a higher proportion of sudden deaths during sex occur within extramarital relationships.

Most men engaged in extramarital affairs often tend to impress their women during sex. They load themselves with sex-enhancing drugs, which cause autoerotic asphyxiation. Recall that it was during a tryst that the popular chief executive of a television company was murdered in a short-let apartment in Lekki, Lagos. His partner was a university student. Men before you sow oats, be careful.

Now, when one is engaged in sowing oats, one might not be completely free from sexually transmitted diseases, which affect men more. One need not be told to tread softly. A rush to grab a quickie, unprotected, increases the risk of getting infections such as HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and herpes.  It can also lead to some incurable diseases like herpes and AIDS which have no cure, although they can be managed with lifelong treatment. Apart from the disadvantages of the diseases, the cost of treating STDs can be high. Sexually transmitted diseases usually unsettle the victim. No home will be happy when a partner becomes a carrier of a disease.  Some sown oats have led to paternity disputes. Just like the case of Godwin Ikoiwak, a lawyer in Akwa Ibom State. The case led to the jailing of the wife, mother-in-law, a Rev. Father and doctor. Delivering judgment in the case, Justice Bassey Nkanaga of Akwa Ibom State High Court 9, sitting in Uyo, sentenced them to a combined 28 years imprisonment for the murder of Ikoiwak.

The case arose from an illicit affair between the Catholic priest and a lady who he impregnated. The lady gave birth to a son.

Much later she got married to Ikoiwak and eventually brought the innocent boy into her marital home and presented him to the husband as a house-help.

In the course of time, the bubble burst. To cover up, Barr Ikoiwak was invited by his in-laws to discuss the issue. During that visit, they poisoned him, a fact that was revealed by the autopsy report. The report showed that Ikoiwak died from organophosphate poisoning, known as “Otapiapia” which is a popular rat killer and insecticide. This wholly tragic incident was the outcome of a wild oat down by a priest. Once again, I say, men, be careful how you sow wild oats.

It is for the multiplication of troubles that General Overseer of Zion Praying Ministry, Evangelist Ebuka Obi had warned his members to desist from sexual irresponsibility. He listed a litany of disadvantages which are more embarrassing than the pleasure of sex, especially from the spiritual angle. Men in particular who engage in sex without emotional safety will definitely get into trouble when the bubble bursts. The first sign of trouble will be the unwanted pregnancy. It is no news when most charity homes across the board are filled with young girls carrying unwanted pregnancies. The victims are countless. Who sowed the oats? Some might be victims of rape, and have no one to speak for them. Some would have resulted from careless sexual relationships. For some of those girls, that is when they become overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, remorse and shame, especially when it goes against personal values. Evidence suggests a correlation between casual sex and high levels of anxiety, depression and lower self-esteem in both men and women. Sowing oats wrongly can devastate trust and damage long-term relationships. Frequent and impulsive change of sex partners can sometimes affect the ability to form deep, stable or committed emotional bonds later. One wondered why the relationship between James and Gina broke down, leading them to go their separate ways.    As students in higher institution in the South West, they were known as ‘couple of the class’ because they were always together. If anyone had been told that James and Gina would not end up in marriage, it would have been hard to believe. Their relationship was not hidden from both lecturers and fellow students. Their classmates and Department were eagerly waiting for D-Day, only for news of their separation to break on campus. Their relationship shattered because of wrongful sowing of oats. James had cornered Gina’s cousin who came to visit them and had carnal knowledge of her. Oh poor Gina. That act by the fiancé broke the camel’s back. She could not imagine it. She was so devastated and called it quits.

Recently, the husband of a celebrity was the topic of discussion on social media. The celebrity who had a son for her husband separated from him on the grounds of domestic violence and lies. Her hubby moved on immediately and remarried while the lady waited to pick the strings of her life. She lived with her son. Suddenly, the second wife, who is also a Nollywood actress, filed for divorce.

Dear Nigerian men, sowing oats carelessly, without care and caution carries significant physical, emotional and long-term life consequences. Most times, it leads to regret. Be careful and avoid sowing wild oats.