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By Christian Agadibe
Despite her passion for acting, Nneka Nkem felt bad that she couldn’t join Nollywood as a plus-size lady.
But her turning point came when she auditioned and secured a role in What Other Couples Do. Today, the Nnamdi Azikiwe University graduate of Psychology is an inspiration to many plus size women that nothing is impossible as long as you set your mind at it.
In this interview, the Imo State-born screen diva opened up on her battles with inferiority complex and sexual harassments as a plus size. She also revealed how she almost lost her life trying to loose weight. Here are excerpts.
How did you venture into acting?
I’ve always loved Theatre Arts since when I was in secondary school. I’ve always wanted to act in movies but my father didn’t like it. My parents don’t like showbiz. My father particularly told me that he doesn’t want to see me on TV. Being a science student in secondary school, he expected me to be a medical doctor; he wanted me to read medicine.
In school when I wanted to switch from science to arts, he told me he wasn’t going to permit that. However, in school, I belonged to the art/drama club and I used to participate in drama secretly without letting my dad know. When I got to university, I discovered that I actually had to make decisions on my own. I had a friend who was filming at a particular place in Awka, so I said ‘Let me follow you, I want to see how all these things are done’. The first day I went to the location with her, I told the director that I’d love to be an actor too, and he said ‘okay’. Later, he needed an extra character for a particular role, so he asked me if I could try, and that was it. The rest is history.
What movie made you popular?
I had a major TV series, Mr. X Family Show, a RMD production that is currently showing on AIT at 7pm every Sunday. At a particular point, there were movies I thought were going to break me, but the one that really gave me that break was What Other Couples Do directed by TC Nnachi for Iroko TV. It was within that period that I started doing skits for Nedu of Wazobia show. It was also within that period that Oga Landlord comedy series came out.
What are the ones you’ve done that are showing on TV?
Mr. X Family Show is currently airing on AIT. I do Igbo movies too. Because I was born and brought up in Lagos, I understand and speak Yoruba very well so, I’m looking at doing Yoruba movies too.
What do you like about the character you played in What Other Couples Do?
I fell in love with the character, Bukky, the plus size lady because it’s something that happens in some families where the husband feels his wife is too big. He feels she’s out of shape, too big for him, shouldn’t be seen outside and shouldn’t be allowed to express herself. There were times in the movie when Bukky was talked down at; a lot of times she was crying, a lot of times she felt she wasn’t good enough, and a lot of times she felt she could just end her life, and end it all. So, I enjoyed playing Bukky and it was kind of an emotional one for me. I could relate to the situation because that’s how a lot of women feel, not just in their marriages but also in their relationships.
Would you say that’s what gave you an edge to get roles in the movie industry?
Movies are make-belief with visuals or pictures so people can relate to them. Naturally, you will cast a plus size woman for a plus size role, to make it sit well for you to tell a story. It’s a story you want to tell and you want it to be believable.
What’s the craziest thing a fan has said to you since you started acting?
I’ve heard a lot of crazy things, and I’m still getting a lot of them. Sometimes, I’m scared to go to my DM on Instagram because a lot of them would tell me ‘I want to lick you’, ‘I want to suck your boobs’; ‘I want to have you in my bed’.
For instance, I was doing live broadcast recently and I was trying to relate with some of my fans, and then I saw a guy masturbating. I thought I was the only one that saw him, but when I asked others, they said they saw him too. I ended that live broadcast immediately and started another one only to see another guy doing the same thing. I said this is the height of it and ended the broadcast.
However, I noticed that most of the guys that do this thing (masturbation) are Arabs; most of them are not really Nigerians. Some Nigerians have scruples; they are not like that. In fact, I’ve really had lots of these (sexual) harassments.
If you were a slim babe, do you think they would do that?
I won’t be able to tell. I’m plus size and I can tell about what I go through. I don’t know what another plus size person might be going through. I don’t know because I’m an expressive person who likes to wear what I’m comfortable in, and I love to wear short things. I like to show off my body. A lot of people think plus size people shouldn’t show off their skins. When they see a normal size person wearing a bikini, they’ll say ‘Oh, it’s fine’. But then, you see a plus size lady wearing a bikini, all hell is let loose. Why? Are plus size women not human? I’ve grown above that level where I care about what people think or say, I’m no longer in that stage.
You have grown a thick skin over it?
I’ve grown above all that. I get comments like ‘Why not cover your body?’ ‘Be modest, keep it for your husband’, and I’d say ‘Oh, really?’
Tell us about your growing up. Was there a time you felt your mates were slim while you’re a plus size?
Growing up I had lots of mixed feelings and emotions. Being a child born into a family of seven, growing up wasn’t easy. There was a time I had complex. I’ve always been a thick child; I’ve always been a chubby baby and I’ve always heard people calling me Orobo.
A lot of times, I’ve seen myself wanting to be slim by all means. But regardless, my parents loved me the way I am. I wouldn’t say I was born with a silver spoon but things were fine. My parents were okay, though my dad is late now. I wouldn’t say I lacked anything as a child when I was growing up.
At what age were you able to overcome that feeling to be slim; was there a particular experience?
I had the experience where I almost lost my life. I was always eager to buy things that could make me slim. Anything you bring to me and say ‘Take this thing, it will make you slim in two days’, I’ll want to buy it. I would find a way to get money from my parents to get it. The last straw that broke the camel’s back was a slimming tea that I bought. I started taking it but I didn’t eat, and I didn’t know I was doing harm to myself. I was at home one day, and I started feeling weak and couldn’t speak. Then I noticed I was not feeling fine. I was hiding it because with the way I was feeling, I felt the medicine was working. I lost a lot of blood. I was looking pale, I was practically white and was admitted in the hospital for about four or five days, and I didn’t know I was in the hospital. I woke up and saw myself with drips on my legs, not just on my hands. My veins were all gone; I didn’t know where I was. I didn’t understand what was going on. My mom was there, sitting. I was asking what day was it and what was I doing there, what’s wrong with me? My mother said I had been there for some days. I said, ‘some days? How?’ I didn’t even know. If I had died I wouldn’t have known what happened to me. The doctor asked me if I really wanted to kill myself and if I was tired of life, and I said no. I told him I don’t know what the problem was, that I just wanted to loose weight. He said it has affected my hormones, and he asked me to stop taking all of the things I was taking. My mother was crying, asking me to promise I will not take those things anymore. As a matter of fact, I went through hell. I had been unconscious for days, the pain I was going through, the treatment I was getting, and I wasn’t getting myself. Sometimes, I went into rigor, feeling like I was thrown into a freezer; even if you pour hot water on me, I won’t feel it.
I didn’t like what I went through. So, I decided that was it, I was never going to take any of those things again and I was going to be myself. I’m a shy person. I hardly come out to say how I transcended from that person I was to who I am now.
I used to have inferiority complex but I broke away from all of that.
What was the turning point that you felt this could be a blessing in disguise at the end of the day?
It was when I went to university and saw how other plus size ladies carry themselves. I knew of pageants like Miss Nigeria but when I stumbled on Miss Big, Bold and Beautiful, I said ‘Oh, plus size women also have pageants? That’s cool’. And I started trying to get into it. At a time, I met someone who won the pageant and we became friends. I saw how they carry themselves and how really beautiful and graceful they are, and I told myself, ‘This is it. Enough of the times I used to feel I was not good enough. Enough of the times I used to feel I should be slim’.
It affected me in a lot of areas, there were things I wanted to do and I felt I did not fit in, I felt I would be rejected. I feared rejection because of my size at the time. In fact, I had someone telling me I was too big. I wasn’t even this big then; if you go through my pictures, you would know. This body-shaming thing has come a long way. I wouldn’t say it’s a setback; I’ll say it’s a blessing. I heard someone telling me I was too big to join Nollywood. She said when Genevieve and the rest joined the industry they were not like me. And I must tell you, it actually made me go two to three years backward in chasing this career, because at some point, it went into my head. I let it come into my head; I let them get into my head. If I hadn’t let that into my head, it wouldn’t have. It took me time to break away from the idea the person had planted in me, because sometimes, people project their fears into you.
They don’t think you can do it because they feel they cannot do it themselves. So, they project their fears into you. I let that person put his fears and doubts into me. I bought it, and told myself maybe it’s true. All I needed at the time I was speaking to that friend was encouragement.
What about support or discouragement from relatives, did you have such experience?
My dad was not who I should talk to because he didn’t like acting. My mom too did not like it. My mom is the kind of person that likes professionalism; she wanted me to be a lawyer while my dad wanted me to be a doctor. They were not the people I needed to talk to at that time; I needed a friend to encourage me. The person I spoke to was wrong. Dreams are not what we see when we sleep at night; dreams are things that keep us up at night. I just felt if this thing that I have a passion for keeps bothering me, why don’t I chase it?
However, my dad called me one day, I think they were watching Africa Magic and he asked if I was the one he saw on TV. I said yes, it’s what I wanted to do. He did not react the way I expected him to react because at that time, he understood I was an adult and I had decisions to make on my own. So, he said if that’s what I wanted to do, I should go ahead.
Was there any kind of heartbreak from a boyfriend because you are plus size?
No, not really. I wasn’t a girl who started dating early.
As a young woman, did you get attention from men because of your plus size?
Yes, I got a lot of attention from men who didn’t even know I was too young to date. But because I knew how young I was, I didn’t really date.
