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At a recent ‘All White Party’ held in toney Victoria Island, words failed me because of the apparels the women showcased at the shindig. It left me wondering why ladies wear sheer or skin-toned ‘naked’ clothes to parties. As if there is a competition among the ladies on who will win the craziest nude outfit. Do they wear such to feel confident, follow modern fashion trends and express personal freedom and body autonomy or what?
From the videos of the party, breasts, mid-riff, the pierced jeweled navels, all free backs and buttocks were outrightly on display, probably looking for a buyer for the night. Maybe old age is catching up with me so fast. Am I showing my matron attitude towards the young generation? Well, whether they like it or not, standard practice will never go out of fashion. One must think of things that are universally accepted, socially desirable and economically profitable.
Otherwise, how would one describe the accepted nudity that has befallen the young generation? Is this the result of civilization and social media influence? It is quite shocking how today’s ladies display their nudity and feel so cool about it. At the party, ladies wore G-string underwear under a very transparent outfit. The strings hid in between the buttocks with a little ‘leaf’ to cover the front. And they called it fashion.
Again, the breast has become the cheapest and most prominent market on display at parties. Even big breasts that should be hidden stylishly would be spread on the mat for all to see. Dark fallen heavy boobs are squeezed in a tight frock and the boobs were seriously protesting for lack of comfort. One does not understand it. Another was seen with a simple dress flowing, but one could see through the sheer material that she was naked, the breeze of the fan seemingly plastered the material on her body and showed the skin in the see-through material. There was no underwear on her at all. Though not trying to sound spiritual or moralistic, these exposures make one ask if this generation has any fear of God in them. Do they even realize that their body is the temple of God?
Agreed it was a night party and one was not expected to wear Iro and Buba, but in night life spaces, dressing provocatively can be a way to elicit external admiration or validation. Such dressing guarantees visibility in crowded environments and photograph well for social media.
In the post-COVID world, society is now witnessing an unprecedented shift in fashion. Young women are simultaneously embracing body positivity movements while navigating the pressure of social media validation. The pandemic changed the relationship with clothing comfort to become king, yet the desire to ‘dress up’ for virtual meetings created new dynamics. The psychology behind why women choose to expose their bodies is far more nuanced than simple explanations of ‘attention-seeking’ or empowerment. One keeps observing that cultural shifts, technological advances, and evolving gender dynamics have created entirely new motivations and pressures around women’s dress choices. Thanks to the so-called celebrities, who might not be interested in attracting attention or being noticed, yet they wear revealing clothes just because they enjoy looking good. Again, a study has also shown that some women expose their bodies to get noticed and attract sexual attention.
Most shocking is the fact that most of the ladies that dress half-naked for the admiration of the men lose the same men they felt admired immediately the men’s needs are met. Only God knows when my gender will understand that the men will use them for just a fling. The same men that would encourage them to dress naked would cover up fully to attend the same party. After partying for the night, when it is time for settling down, the same men would abandon them for the one that covered up. Same men would say that real men do not eat open food, they eat closed up food. The same men would attend the party with stylish funny shaped clothes, but their private areas will never show. A male artist is ready to release an album with a female back-up singer. While the artiste comes out fully dressed, the female back-up singer is dancing half-naked.
Women, can any man take a half-naked lady to his parents for marriage? Why is it that ladies dress well on the first introductory day? I easily recall what Mrs. Lanre Ojora, a popular Lagos fashionista in her heyday, who told me about her experience with her mother-in-law on the first day.
Her words: “The first day my husband took me to his mother for an introduction, I wore a very short smart gown and looked great for my man who did not see anything wrong with that. We were happily driving home to see Mama for the first time. The moment his son said, ‘Mummy, this is the lady I want to marry’, her response wa, ‘Where did she leave her dress? Why did you bring me a naked girl?’ It took the intervention of his son to calm Mama down before he reeled out my curriculum vitae. On subsequent visits, I dressed properly.” This will also be the action of many other African mothers.
Whether it is okay for a woman to expose certain parts of her body has been a matter of several discussions. At this point, I want to give it to the Chairman of Heirs Holdings, Tony Elumelu, whose grown-up daughters became the epitome of decent dressing. In very few videos shared, either with their father or alone, they wore turtleneck long-sleeved T-shirts on decent jeans. I have not seen any ripped jeans. Never have I seen any clothes that reveal their private areas. Same goes to the Otedola’s daughters, they do not come out with clothes that reveal their private areas. Dangote daughters are Muslim ladies who dress appropriately. These are daughters of billionaires whose fathers could close an Italian designer shop to please their daughters. Yet, their children appear decently. I am not writing about lifestyle, I am talking about the appearance of a lady. Elumelu, Otedola and Dangote daughters please take your flowers.
Most of the time, those who expose themselves lack self-confidence. Therefore, the need to expose themselves is also found manifesting in a larger percentage of cases where girls suffer from low self-esteem or poor self-image. The narrow definition of beauty in the form of perfectly sculpted bodies of models is causing an increasing amount of self-esteem problems leading to anxiety, depression and eating disorders.
For the slim bodies of models, it has also caused the mad rush for cosmetic surgery miracles. Some of which are causing serious health challenges to victims.
Sadly, there are mothers who are poorly dressed and one wonders what such women will pass unto her daughters. Mothers who wear inners meant for the home to public places like the malls, market and roads. Once did a Catholic priest warn mothers to stop exposing their breasts during celebration of Mass. Instead, he said, they should display the seductive body parts for their husbands. How can one explain that a concerned mother would repeatedly tell her teenage daughter to wear clothes that reveal her cleavages because it attracts men? The young girls’ self-esteem automatically sank low and she was caught in a dilemma. Now she started wearing clothes with low necklines and high hemlines. She would dance at parties in a seductive manner and got a whole lot of male attention, but was soon labeled as “easily available” with the result that her self-worth hit the bottom line.
Ladies an adage says that there is nothing you would eat and swallow the teeth. Be guided; be intentional about the good things of life. Do not let peer pressure take away the good morals your parents inculcated in you. You can choose to be the only one that is well behaved. Do not follow the crowd.
