…Says ‘I’ve always wanted to marry someone I can call my soulmate’
By Rita Okoye
Chinelo Helen Igwealor, popularly known as Chantel Igwe, is a seasoned Nigerian actress whose dedication to her craft has solidified her place in Nollywood.
In this interview with Sunday Sun, she opened up on her career trajectory, the obstacles she has faced, including sexual harassment, and her future aspirations. Excerpt:
As a seasoned actress, which role do you still look forward to playing?
Well, I’ve done almost all the roles. I’ve played a lot of characters – a wife, sister, nurse, madwoman, pregnant woman, mother. Virtually all the roles – good girl, bad girl, princess. There is no role I would say I am looking forward to playing in particular. What I pray for is to get more roles and more movies. That’s the only thing I would say regarding that.
What are the challenges you have faced as a pretty actress?
This particular one. Though it’s not just being an actress, it’s more like being a female. Because right from my university days, you go through this kind of stuff. Some lecturers tend to demand things from female students, so even when you go looking for work, you still encounter things like that. If you want to get a favour from someone, it still boils down to the same thing. Being an actress, it’s the same thing. You still see people who say if you’re willing to give them this, they will give you that. It is a general issue everywhere. But for my kind of person, I chose to follow the straight road, like going for auditions. If I am called for an audition and they want me to act, I will come and act. I don’t like going through the back doors. Not giving in to the pressure has denied me a lot of roles I was supposed to have played before now, but some of them will be like, “Yes, you are good, but if you don’t do this, you’re not going to get this.” Some people are like, “Since you’re good, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt to show yourself.” So imagine a situation where 10 people are telling you they want this, and you’re not willing to give it to them; they’re denying you jobs.
How do you react after you got a role and was later denied it over sexual harassment?
Well, I feel bad. I remember attending a few auditions then. Some of them would say, “Oh, you’re good,” and you would see your name posted. On the day of discussing the job, some wicked ones will say, “I need you to come stay with me before you can feature in the movie” – and my kind of person, I just feel like telling them to go to hell. I just look at them, laugh, and walk away. I laugh because I know that if I don’t get that role, another role will still come, and I will be able to do it. If I miss any role because of one reason or another, I just look forward to the next. That’s just me. Films don’t end, films will always be there. Films started several years ago. There are so many movies looking for people who will even feature in them. So just be focused and know what you want. That’s just it when it comes to this. Stand your ground. It’s going to cost you a few jobs, but then your integrity stays intact. It’s just what it is.
Can you marry an actor? If not, what kind of man would you want to marry?
Of course, love can come in different forms. I can marry an actor if I see that we are made for each other. I have always wanted to marry someone that I can call my soulmate, and I am his soulmate. I believe the word soulmate is also stated somewhere in the Bible. When the soulmate comes, if he comes in the form of an actor, why not? Settle down, as long as you both are happy. Happiness is the key to life. Some marry outside the industry, and some of the marriages don’t work out. Some people marry in the industry and their marriages are working. So it is all about personal decisions. If you see who you want or feel connected to, I believe every other distraction can be avoided, and we focus and make it work.
How do you deal with male fans?
In terms of this, so many guys will want to flirt with you, and some people will want to date you. Some people want to have their way with you. Being my kind of person, I like to just be nice to everybody. I don’t like to be harsh, so I don’t come off as mean or anything. I just like to always put on a smile while we are colleagues and friends, and nothing more, of course. I don’t create enmity unless you choose to be my enemy. That is your cup of tea. Men will always be men. If you’re the type that wants to date, we can still date, but it doesn’t work out for me. So many of them have tried, but I just kept them at that colleague level, and that’s just it for me. But if there is one who you now fall in love with, and you can work things out, then fine, why not?
Can you be a second wife?
I’m not a fan of being a second wife. Some people want to do that, but as for me, it’s not my thing. I just have to be with the one I feel is the one God chose for me. The issue of a second wife is a no for me. If a man is married to his first wife unless the man deceives me. There’s no reason to lie about those kind of things. Most people these days, the way they will treat you, you will wish you never even came across that person. So, I would rather have my peace. Me and my man against the world. That’s just it.
Have you ever been heartbroken, and how did you deal with it?
I have experienced this. It happened a few years ago. When you’re used to having suitors left, right, and centre and they are always coming and you are rejecting them, and then all of a sudden, this guy just came in and walked into your father’s compound seeking your hand in marriage, and it just felt like among so many people that have come, you feel nothing for them, but this one is just different, this one is special. There is this kind of connection. For the first time, I am like, “Okay, I am ready to go for this.” And then from there, the feelings developed, and then for everybody that now came, I was like, “I’m taken.” Before it was like I wasn’t interested, but now I was off the market. Though he hadn’t done anything in particular. He only came to introduce himself to my people. He said I should give him time to finish his building. After some time, he finished the building, and he said it was time to get married. I had never really wanted to rush into marriage. I was in school, and I should have been in my third year then, so I wanted to say this was the feeling. It was a feeling I couldn’t control.
At the time, I felt it was the right decision. All of a sudden, the guy came back, and things didn’t work out the way we planned it. His sister brought in another woman for him. The guy couldn’t do anything because he was the only son of his parents, and he was the only one who made money, and he was the one that the other families were relying on. So they felt maybe they needed someone that they could control or take advantage of. They saw me probably as someone they couldn’t control or whatever. That was why they brought someone for him to marry, and they persuaded him to marry the lady because, after the marriage, the guy kept calling me, asking for forgiveness, saying that he wanted to run away, and he wasn’t happy. He said he didn’t usually drink, but he wanted to forget he wasn’t happy. All those kind of stories. The bottom line is when I heard the story of his marriage, it broke my heart because it was like a movie when someone you’ve already talked about marriage with, and he has come to see your people, that this is what you want to do, and you are waiting for him. Years go by, and he comes into the country occasionally, and then when he was done with his building, he assured me that he was coming, asking me to get ready, that we were going to get married, and I was like, “Is this going to happen?” And then he came back, he got me from school, we had a nice time, and I was set to see his people the following week, and all of a sudden, the next week came, and I couldn’t hear from him anymore, and I had to go back to school because I had a movie shoot that came up at the time. I was there at the location and I started feeling sick because I was wondering what was going on. My mind felt something was wrong because our discussion didn’t go as planned, and I wondered what was happening. I decided to see him. I got permission from my director, which was granted. I went to his place, as he was from my hometown. However, I discovered that on the day I felt down and went to his side, I saw many people entering his street, and I feared someone had died. When I reached the gate, I found that the plan had completely changed. I cried, but I didn’t let anyone see my tears. I got into the car that brought me and left. I went through a lot of pain during that period because many men were interested in me, and I always said I wasn’t. Now, the one person I was interested in suddenly bailed on me. It’s an experience I never want to go through again. Honestly, it took me days. I’d heard people talk about heartbreak, but I had never truly experienced it. It took me days to recover from the shock of that heartbreak. It wasn’t just a boyfriend-girlfriend matter; it was leading to marriage. Many people wanted to settle down with me, but the one I chose didn’t have a good ending. But after a few years, the guy is still miserable. He still calls me, he still speaks with me. He doesn’t know what to do. He even has two kids already. But anything I had to do with him ended a long time ago. It’s not a good experience, so I don’t wish to experience that again. Ever.
What would you want to correct in Nollywood, if given the opportunity?
One of the things I would like to change is sexual harassment. I was strong enough to say no and trust that another job would come. But many ladies may not be as strong. I’m not saying I’m the strongest. The next lady might not be as strong, and some of them fall victim. Some are messed up along the way, and in the end, they still don’t get the job. For some, it affects their mental health. That practice of trying to take advantage of a lady before giving her roles, if they could eliminate it, I would love that. I would simply say, ‘You can have a girlfriend if you want, you can get married if you want, but why harass other ladies who are here to work and showcase their talents?
Secondly, payments. When you give someone a job, they need to be paid. Some people complain to me about having done a job without getting compensated, seeking my help. These people travel to the location morning and night, and in the end, you don’t pay them anything. It is disheartening.
You are such a beautiful lady, why are you still single?
Well, I guess everyone is created for someone. That’s one thing I believe. And if you marry someone your spirit isn’t in tune with, it will result in crises in the marriage. Most people get married because the person has money, is tall, has broad shoulders, six-pack abs, a fleet of cars—all these things are good, but they aren’t the things to consider in marriage. I think, for me, character is number one. How does this guy behave? Is he a chain smoker? A drunk? Or a womanizer? What are the things he does that I cannot condone? And then, is he a God-fearing man? Not the ones who call God’s name with their lips, but their hearts are a deep ocean of darkness. I’m talking about those who genuinely care about God, because when a man respects God, he can genuinely respect his wife. I look for those who have a kind heart, who know that God is real and respect Him. I look for character, and everything else comes after. Until then, I’ve seen many men with cars and houses, and those aren’t the things I want. Someone like me cannot deal with a womanizer, because I wouldn’t want to be around you if you’re the type of guy who wants to go after every skirt. I wouldn’t feel safe with you. I would be afraid because this person can damage your life. He can contract something and give it to you, so that’s the thing. You keep looking for the right one. I believe my man is out there. It’s just a matter of time.
Do you still keep your old friends, since you hit fame?
Well, I still keep some of my old friends, while some of them feel they no longer fit in. Some call from a distance, saying I’m too busy and might not have time for them anymore. If you want to be friends with me and you’re genuine, why not? But when it gets to a point where there’s envy and jealousy, I will run for my life. Friendship comes in different dimensions.
Who are those that you still look forward to acting with?
In Nollywood, I would say maybe Majid Michel. I would love to be on set with him. I have acted with most of them in Nollywood. The likes of Frederick Leonard, I have acted with him. If it’s Hollywood, there are many I would love to be on set with because I would love to learn more from them. I want to be on set with those kinds of mindsets. But in Nollywood, I think I’m good.
Are your parents in support of your acting career, how did they react initially?
My mother had no issue; her only concern was that I do the right thing. My dad was all about upholding the family name, my upbringing. The entertainment industry, to him, was more like a wayward kind of life. But with time, after I graduated, he began to understand that this was the choice I had made, and he became more understanding. He doesn’t have any issue with it anymore. So that’s just it.