By Bianca Iboma-Emefu
Perturbed by the harmful traditional practices and mistreatment experienced by widows, a non-governmental organization, Total Life Concern (TLC), in collaboration with the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) Nigeria, is leading a crusade to end inhumane treatment against widows.
The groups re-affirmed their commitment to tackle harmful cultural practices against widows in the country during a recent conference held to commemorate the 2024 International Widow’s Day.
The convener of TLC, Edirin Essiet, a lawyer, said that the maltreatment of widows and other vulnerable women in the society should be stopped to enable them exercise their rights as citizens.
Essiet said those perpetrating the acts were insensitive to the harm done to widows under the guise of culture and tradition, expressing concern that the victims were left to suffer in silence by the society.
She said: “Society forgets that a widow is a daughter, sister and mother and equally a human that suddenly became a widow. That she lost her husband does not make her less human.”
Essiet noted that widows in the past and even now in some communities are still passing through hell at the loss of their spouses: “Usually, when a woman loses her husband, she is traumatized. Then making her go through barbaric treatment affects her health physically. Widowhood practices have never been palatable.
“In the time of old, immediately a women loses her husband, she is meant to sit at a particular place and not move around. Even to use the convenience was not allowed as bowls were kept for them in the same room where they stayed.
“They were not allowed to go outside or mix up with other people until the burial of their husbands. Some were made to sit on broken shells, clay pots, snails or on bare floor. They were mostly ostracised from the usual circle of people.
“They would neither take a bath nor change the clothes they were wearing at the time their husbands died. They were not allowed to go to the market, stream or any social gathering.
“Nobody would answer their greetings if they made the mistake of being the first person to greet anybody early in the morning. They were seen and treated as outcast and unclean. She was made to eat from a broken calabash, among other inhumane treatment.”
Essiet described it as a debt society owes itself, as a naturally functional growing unit, to protect the vulnerable among them.
“I have discovered that, in Nigeria, widows are neglected, victimized, intimidated and humiliated. The worst part of it all is that when a widow doesn’t have a male child, the relatives of her husband give her real trouble. They disturb and frustrate such widows by trying to possess what their late brother acquired before his death.”
On why the organization works with FIDA and other bodies, Essiet said it was to provide advocates and rights activists along with legal counsel for these vulnerable persons to demand their rights.
Guest speaker at the event, Adetunji Adeoye, a lawyer, recommended empowerment and education as part of the solution to champion the fight. He appealed to families who have also become lenient and amended their show of disdain and disinheritance but said it is not yet uhuru.
Adeoye emphasized empowerment, sensitization on widows’ rights and having a will to protect widows from the spouse’s family who scramble and partition the property once their brother is no more.
Adeoye said widowhood challenges were a worldwide issue, and gave the figure as about 258 million, while 15 million were Nigerians who have been robbed of their basic human rights and dignity.
“Widows are often denied inheritance rights, have their property grabbed after the death of partners and can face extreme stigma and discrimination. This is the harsh reality of millions of widows across the world, especially in Nigeria.
“In addition to being devastated by the death of their partners, many widows are denied access to the inheritance of their husband’s property, finances, and are cut off from access to their spouse’s benefits, which can have significant financial impacts on them, their children and future generations.
“Patriarchal cultures across the country cruelly consign widows to remain unseen, unsupported, and forced to navigate their experiences of grief, loss or trauma without social welfare or justice. Not only are widows saddled with economic insecurity, discrimination and stigmatization, they have also been subjected to sexual violence and harmful, degrading and life-threatening traditional practices as part of burial and mourning rites.”
He advised government and policymakers to adopt social and economic reforms to improve widows’ access to inheritance, land, pensions and social protection.
“Widowhood should not be a death sentence. Non-governmental organisations, faith-based organisations and corporate bodies should support initiatives that give widows priority in employment, adult education, business capital, healthcare and psychological counselling.
“There should be an increased emphasis on women empowerment and education which will improve the chances of widows to access material and social welfare. There should be a general campaign that prohibits the mistreatment of widows under the guise of culture or tradition.
“More resources should be deployed towards exposure, education and information to counter the culture of silence and secrecy which remains the reason for the downward transmission of the culture of abuse against widows.”
Also, executive director of Blossomflow Foundation, Joan Faluyi, who donated 300 sanitary pads to the widows meant for their teenage girls, advised them to take care of their health which is more important for them to carry out their duties.
Faluyi said they are free to mourn their spouse but they need to be strong to organize their families which the responsibility have shifted to them upon the death of their husband.
“Although she’s often regarded as impure and must adhere to strict mourning practices, which can also negatively impact her health, he health needs of widows should not go unaddressed,” she said.
Ngozi Agu, Cynthia Abel and Pat Audu, among other windows, shared their horrible experiences meted on them in the name of tradition.