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By John Ogunsemore
Hadiza Isma El-Rufai, first wife of former Kaduna governor Nasir El-Rufai, has said entering a polygamous marriage was not her choice initially.
She said having been brought up in a monogamous home, she did not envisage her husband would take a second wife as the topic was never discussed before they got married.
Mrs El-Rufai noted that she later learnt to accept her marital situation.
She disclosed this in an X post on Sunday.
The former Kaduna First Lady was weighing in on a controversy generated on the platform by a popular lawyer’s announcement that he was taking a second wife.
Mrs El-Rufai said, “My husband was raised in a polygamous family, while I, by contrast, grew up in a monogamous one.
“When we agreed to get married, I envisaged a monogamous marriage, even though the subject was never discussed.
“Now I find myself in a polygamous marriage, not by choice initially, but subsequently by choice.
“I say ‘not by choice initially’ because the transformation of our marriage from a monogamous one to a polygamous one was my husband’s choice and not mine.
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“I say ‘subsequently by choice’ because deciding to remain in the marriage was my choice and nobody else’s.”
She added, “We got married under Islamic law and under that law, a woman reserves the right to opt out of a marriage, even without giving a reason.
“One condition, though, is that she must return the dowry that was paid to her. (Could that have influenced my decision to stay? Because, frankly, by that time, I don chop my dowry clean mouth. LOL).”
She highlighted some of the advantages of being the first wife in a polygamous marriage.
She said, “You’ll have more time to focus on your career, your interests and do what you’ve always wanted to do.
“You’ll have more time for your children.
“If you, like me, are of the same age as your husband, and you’ve both started experiencing the signs of old age, you won’t be expected to rub his back. Because… who will rub yours?
“The wahala (problem) of In-laws will be divided and shared.”
While stating that she could not think of any advantage of a polygamous marriage for a man, Mrs El-Rufai urged everyone to do what suits them.
Besides Hadiza, Nasir El-Rufai has two other wives, Asia Ahmad El-Rufai, and Aisha Ummi Garba El-Rufai.
