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The average human being loves anything that is beautiful: a shapely, curvy body, masculine look, natural endowments in the right places – above the equator, fine houses, cars and just about anything that is fine and appealing.
The desire to have a beautiful and attractive appearance is the primary factor that sustains the global beauty products and services industry. People, men and women, collectively pour in millions to undergo procedures to enhance how they look.
The desire for body enhancement generally arises in the mind when an individual becomes convinced that he or she is not good-looking, appealing and attractive. The problem could be a small or “inadequate male organ; a lady’s seeming flat buttocks or one she does not consider curvy or seductive enough or she is deeply concerned that she has very small breasts. Strong dissatisfaction with one’s body can cause a loss of self-confidence. The next step is to seek a solution.
Take the case of a 43-year-old Nigerian-British social media influencer and businessman, Igho Ubiribo, popularly known as ‘Tiny,’ who died in March. Tiny reportedly died from complications that arose from penis enlargement procedure. According to the reports, he received 40 milliliters of hyaluronic acid and lidocaine and later began to experience chest pain. Twice he lost consciousness. Doctors said he suffered pulmonary embolism, a blood clot that blocked a vessel in the lungs. When he lost consciousness again, all efforts to resuscitate him failed. He died in a hospital in Thailand.
In the same vein, Elena Jessica, a Nigerian socialite died after complications that resulted from Brazilian butt lift cosmetic surgery done in Lagos. After she died, her viral video was pulled down, to respect the dead.
Again, in August 2019, a prominent Abuja businesswoman and restaurant owner, known simply as Eno died following complications that arose from a liposuction and buttocks enhancement procedure. According to a statement issued the Management of the clinic where it was done, the patient experienced blood loss during the procedure and required blood transfusion. She reportedly suffered a reaction to the blood products, prompting her transfer to the intensive care unit (ICU) where she died some days later.
With all the bad and sad news swirling around, it is heart breaking that Nigerian celebrities still seemingly engage in a dance of death with cosmetic surgeries for body enhancement – in the misguided belief that procedures offer a saving grace. While they wear the fake glamorous look provided by enhancements, they go through hell to maintain the new look. The monthly injections and amount of drugs they swallow daily is a story for another day.
I have encountered a woman, who by all normal parameters was considered accomplished with a super rich husband. Out of the blues, she decided to undergo tummy tuck surgery, which was the in-thing at the time. While narrating her experience, she told me that she regrets doing the tummy tuck till date. She said: “I travelled to London and some of my friends convinced me to go in for it. They said it does not take much time. I went in and came out after three hours. This was over 20 years ago. I have not been my real self since then. I tell you, the moment what God created is touched, it can never be the same till eternity.”
To illustrate, she said it is like when a straight rope is cut and then joined. She said the straightness is gone forever. Who knows how many others have died from cosmetic surgery complications.
The question is: why people go into life threatening body enhancement and unnecessary surgeries? A plastic surgeon who asked not to be named said his patient once told him that she wanted the cosmetic surgery to enhance her appearance. Others want to improve body proportion, address signs of ageing, or repair features affected by injury, birth defects, etc. For those who claim they want to address signs of ageing, what about your internal system? Surgery was originally developed as a clinical procedure to save lives. But medical innovation found ways to apply special techniques, safely, to enhance looks and give individuals completely different facial identities. Notwithstanding these obvious benefits, negative outcomes have continued to be recorded over time.
Interestingly, one major factor that leads to people to see cosmetic surgery body shaming. In the case of Tiny, he may have believed that having a penis enlargement would enable him to sexually satisfy his wife. And in the spirit of “I am a man” he opted for penis enlargement which had a fatal outcome.
People would not engage in certain kinds of cosmetic surgery if they truly understood the deep meaning in the scripture that says, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” No one person has a perfect physical look. Nature makes up in some other place what may be considered a physical deficit.
However, men who do not have issues like small penis, weak erection, poor physical outlook, and women who are well-endowed, both front and back, may not connect with the mental anguish that goes with low-self-esteem driven by a perceived less-than-standard physical appearance. One needs to sit down with them to understand what they go through. Recall Michael Jackson’s transformation from a whole healthy, handsome young man to whatever he transformed himself into. Michael Jackson lacked confidence despite being a global music star. For him, the only problem was the bridge of his African nose.
A heart-warming moment happened on July 6, 1997, when Solene Lory, a French fan screamed, shook with emotion, and cried when she was pulled onto the stage to hug Michael Jackson during his performance of the hit song: “You Are Not Alone” in Munich, Germany. Michael Jackson was a world star, his authority and audacity could not be matched during his performances, yet his nose gave him sleepless nights. He did not feel complete. To him he needed a transformation of the nose. Only that he never lived to enjoy his conversion.
Now, in every man or woman, there is a minus somewhere, but only the wise enjoy their being with confidence. Those who understand that such a minus in a body is not a death sentence live long because they do not go in search of a substitute.
One of the foremost accomplished men I know, Dr. Ken (not real name) is smallish in stature. Most people call him “button” because of his small stature. But whenever he is body-shamed, he fights back immediately by saying, “A shirt cannot be closed without a button.”
Again, taunts and lack of understanding of partners make the situation worse. It flattens and damages the individual, then erodes self-esteem fast, which could impact life quickly too. When a husband addresses his wife as ‘fat woman, fat bloated stomach’ the same stomach she used to bear two to three children for him, when girls will their friends that they are not good enough to be at their party, it is such demeaning talk that drives people to seek cosmetic surgery. You hear that guys want sharp, succulent girls, not girls with fallen breasts. These are nauseating and body shaming words that cause low esteem
Now, while some men are not blessed with big “third legs” , some are created with small or mid-size organs. But there is an extra uniqueness about the same man or woman. A female teacher in one private school was described as the ugliest of women, but she was a sought-after Chemistry teacher. Without her input, students fail woefully.
Clara (not real name) sent a message to her ex-boyfriend telling him how her newly wedded husband could do anything in the other room. Her ex asked: so why did you marry him? You closed your eyes to his insecurity and welcomed his cash. Sorry, you cannot eat your cake and have it. The response of her ex-boyfriend was a shock to her.
To the men who find themselves in this situation, please use the tactics of Peter Okoye of P-Square: break the news before it breaks you. According to him, when his wife Lola became pregnant before their marriage, after a performance where they won an award, P-Square openly dedicated the award to three sets of people, including, Lola the mother of his unborn child. His brothers were against that move but he simply told them: “I want to break the news myself because I do not want the news to break me.” By personally announcing that someone was expecting a baby for him, the wise move shut the mouths of the gossip and rumour mongers completely and removed all emotional blackmails. There was nothing to be added. “Lola is pregnant for me.” Simple!
Dear Nigerians, kindly discuss whatever that makes you shy with your partner and friends. Be bold. Women talk about your flat chest and buttocks. Tell how African women celebrate the big hips, arms and stomachs, which is our identity as the black race. As intimacy comes close, remind him or her, I told you this is how it is. Since we are all created differently, anyhow it comes, it is part of life. It is not a death sentence. Avoid cosmetic surgery and save your life.
