Ridiculous things are fast showing up. It is expected. This is their prime time. It is laughable, comical and hysterical. All recklessly rolled into one huge mess. Yet, we have to live with it. That is our sordid lot. Pity!
We won’t be tired insisting. This woman does not exist in the eyes of the law. We have searched inside and out. It’s a brick wall all the way.
Still, we remained restless, restive but resolute. We dug deeper. We were practically buried in the archives. We wanted it settled once and for all.
We turned tables upside down. We burnt midnight candles of all types, shades and colours. We went through heaps of documents, files, et al.
Now, who is this woman? What manner of lady? What uncanny audacity inviting presidential aspirants? To do what? To a dinner as she chooses to call it!
What is her relevance in our national life? Where is her place in the Constitution? She is nothing to us but a housewife. Just like any other. Simply, one among her equals. Nothing more, nothing special.
Mrs Aisha Buhari is it! She is wife of President Muhammadu Buhari. But she refused to let it end there. She went an extra mile. And that is the crux of the matter.
She deliberately acted as “Nigeria’s First Lady” (whatever that means to her) the other day. She detested being addressed ordinarily. Not even as wife of a President. So also those before her. It didn’t start today, not even yesterday. But none of her predecessors dared do what she did recently.
We all knew it was cheap bait. Some of the aspirants could not read between the ugly lines. They lacked that needed discerning spirit at that critical moment.
Aisha played a fast one on them and she got away with it. She explored and exploited their desperation. And it worked wonders for her. She feigned the guts. She was far away out of her borders. She pretended to be daring and unperturbed.
So, from her cosy Aso Rock advantage, she fired the salvo. She summoned ALL presidential aspirants to herself in the Villa. Vice President Yemi Osinbajo was not spared or exempted. Imagine!
Aisha hid under Iftar, the Muslim Ramadan dinner. She wanted to break fast with them. She needed all of them to attend. We were not told the dire consequence(s) of ignoring her order.
She then went for their jugular. She vividly held them to ransom. That done, she issued a second audacious “executive order.”
The summoned MUST attend without their phones. These have to be dropped at the entranceway. Again, penalty for disobedience, Aisha selfishly kept to herself.
They sheepishly fell for it. See how they were competing for space to “honour” her. By their disgusting action, these ones are not fit to be elected as our leaders.
The roll call of the attendees is awful and appalling. By their sour fruits, we have known them. They are the desperados in our midst. They are principally of the APC extraction:
Former Lagos State governor, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu; Governor Dave Umahi, Ebonyi State; Chris Ngige, Minister of Labour and Employment; and Governor Bala Mohammed, Bauchi State (PDP).
These ones also attended in whatever capacity that suited their bruised ego: Governor Nasir el-Rufai, Kaduna State; Godswill Akpabio, Minister of Niger Delta Affairs; Yakubu Dogara, former Speaker, House of Representatives and Chief Barnabas Gemade, former national chairman, PDP. Many more came in various shades and moulds.
But the wise ones among them avoided the dinner like a plague. We commend them for defying Aisha. They are certainly worth the salt. The Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), expectedly, populated the list:
Ex-President Goodluck Jonathan, former Vice President Atiku Abubakar, former Senate presidents Bukola Saraki and Anyim Pius Anyim. Others governors included Aminu Tambuwal (Sokoto), Nyesom Wike (Rivers) and Udom Emmanuel (Akwa-Ibom).
Not left out were ex-Governors Peter Obi (Anambra), Ayodele Fayose (Ekiti), publisher Dele Momodu and Sam Ohuabunwa among others.
Osinbajo led the pack of APC members who shunned Aisha’s dinner. Governor Yahaya Bello (Kogi) did the same. So also Rotimi Amaechi, Minister of Transportation, Chukwuemeka Nwajiuba, Minister of State for Education and Timipre Sylva, his counterpart in Petroleum.
That some aspirants gave her a hearing acutely beats one’s imagination. It was upsetting and disgusting. What weird precedent were they striving to set? That was out of place. It was beyond her business as a housewife.
What was the basis of her directive? On what authority was the instruction? It was built on nothingness and should not stand.
This housewife is just messing up big time. Her action was an abomination. This is a serious matter. It’s not meant for the “other room.”
Aisha’s so-called executive order ignited outrage across the land. It was naturally expected. It opened a floodgate of instant heat on Buhari’s wife. It was horrendous, coming like raging torrents.
One Peter Ameh looked Aisha straight in the face: “I see it (the summon) more or less as a comic relief otherwise.” On spot! That’s exactly what it is.
He urged her to re-direct her effort, if she is sincere enough: “The sector of the electoral process to put pressure on should be the INEC. The ability and capacity of the commission to organise credible elections is more important than whatever dialogue the wife of the President must have made.”
But one queer creature opted to be odd. He chose to deodorise his “first lady.” The attempt failed woefully. It collapsed even before it could stand. A mission unaccomplished! It was a warped reasoning of a comedian.
Director-general, Voice of Nigeria (VON), Osita Okechukwu, was delighted Aisha did what she did. He was excited and he displayed it. He told Daily Sun: “Sincerely, I highly commend Her Excellency, Dr Aisha Buhari, for hosting presidential aspirants of all the political parties. It is uncommon height of statesmanship, patriotism and revival of ageless doctrine of politics without bitterness, espoused by Alhaji Waziri Ibrahim of blessed memory.”
Then the very height of sycophancy and bootlicking: “Her Excellency is a rare bird, she wasn’t partisan.”
Aisha glaringly flew a poor kite. It could not fly the distance. It only stirred the hornet’s nest. She called the shots for the wrong reason. She did it with reckless abandon and demonstrated ignominy.
Buhari’s wife asked for it. And trust Nigerians, it was not in short supply. It couldn’t have been. Let’s pretend to admire her bizarre audacity to insult the aspirants.
She did it purportedly as our “First Lady.” Awkward label it is. We don’t have one. And we are not thirsty for one either.
Aisha’s “executive order” was an absurdity carried too far. What manner of ‘first lady’! What portion do we have in the wife of the President?
Actually none.

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