Mercy woke up that Sunday morning with unending tears while squatting. What is amiss this morning, her cousin Clara who visited her from Europe asked. “You cannot continue with endless sobbing. Since I came in two days ago, you have not been happy, what is it?”
Mercy raised her eyes with tears rolling freely down her cheeks and said, “Clara, I am in a wrong marriage. Stephen is not who I thought he was when we met. I thought he was genuine, not knowing he is full of lies and deceitful. He pretends and drops names at will. I do not think he is ready to hold my hands in this journey together. She blew open and cried out loud. Clara, you remember Vincent in school then. I can convincingly tell that I exchanged my husband for a boyfriend. I settled for someone who should have been a fair-weather boyfriend. Not long after many irreconcilable differences, they went their separate ways.
Mercy then began a serious search for Vincent. Through the help of the various social media handles; they finally met. Oh, what a day for both. Mercy confessed that hearing Vincent’s voice sent some waves down her spine. “As my school boyfriend, he was a candle that light others. Caring and loving. It is hard to forget him. I am in damn utter regret of settling with Stephen.” They finally had a date which was not devoid of sexual explorations according to Mercy. “I was at home with Vincent on that date, not minding whose ox is gored.” After a night with him, cuddling me alone, asking after my career, looking into my eyes to remind of what would have been ‘us’ today, Mercy wished the hands of clock could just turn back for the right choice to be made.
Now, knowing that the fuel of long-lasting-relationship and sexual passion especially for a woman is love, care, attention, affection, truthfulness, generosity etc. When these ingredients are missing in a relationship, it re-awakens women’s old flames. Many old relationships were naturally good, but maybe out of naivety, ignorance, youthful exuberance, providence and carelessness, such relationships did not materialize. When one tastes fine wine and sour wine, they tastes are different. Terrible experiences in marriages drives women back to her old flames. The moment a woman is treated well, she will definitely dance her marital music well.
Over the times, men also send their woman into the arms of their old flame. In lives’ journey, when one is treated right, she will not derail with other men, but when not, there is red flag to what she can do. Ask yourself men, how has your woman been fed emotionally, spiritually and sexually?
Have you discovered your woman’s sexual button? Have also noticed how to press it to reach to the moon and back. DO you know that women love romance, gentle touch at the right places, passionate kisses which gradually sets her on fire.
Do you as her husband know that women also love varieties in bed? Oga, are you the type that is known with same touch, same way, same method, same place, same time? If you continue like this, your woman will remember her old flame. Know it that you are simply killing the vibes of sexual pleasure. Such are boring moments for a 21st century woman. Variety is the spice of life. Your women love adventure; give it a trial and see the baby-girl in your woman. Body chemistry differs and that is the reason why back-rub and toe massage will always give different soothing results. How many men know that women love long-drive and hate pre-mature ejaculation. If you as her man can withhold long enough, give her some pleasure before shooting, she will enjoy you, pursue and will be eager to always have sex with you. In oil rig exploration, it is not about the size of the organ, but the rightful use. To rock the right place, position at the right angle and get her moan in pleasure is the successful work to be done.
To avoid re-awakening of old flames, men, it is your job to notice your women, read her like a book and know when she wants passion or tenderness. Knowing that the Generation Z’ will not take any excuse with their sexual fulfillment, therefore whosoever that jokes with his woman’s sexual escapades is really playing with fire.
In the same vein, there are other attributes that keeps a woman on check without remembering her old flame. Men who tarnish their wives’ career out of jealousy are evil. Tracy seated fine as Cash and Teller staff in the cubicle of her new Generation bank. Herbert was one of the external supervisors in charge of the Eastern zone. As they supervised each department, he supervised Tracy into his hotel room. In that mood, other staff intervened on her behalf. In less than three years, they got married. Tracy’s first baptism of fire was resigning her job against her wish. Herbert insisted and never listened to any other option. He now realised how he needed a house wife to take care of the children against a career wife he met in the bank. These are some of the moments when woman remember their old flame and wish to go back to them.
Prisca and Eric hit it so hard as colleagues in a blue-chip industry. Both were topnotch. Eric was a seasoned accountant while Prisca headed the foreign exchange department. They were operating on the same corporate status quo and neglected the details. Eric wanted his space, not giving into family and crowd. “He said all he wants in the house was myself and our two kids, otherwise with a grown Alsatian dog. But we are not Europeans, we are Africans. We are known for co-habiting with extended families.” Prisca cried out her heart. “In my much younger years, Peter my Christian-brother on campus would go visit my mother while I am in school. In fact, my mother thought Peter would be the future man. I came from a family where our home was crowded with relatives, it is strange that my relatives will not visit me, how? Peter and I were still in touch, we discuss extensively and talk about these marital challenges. He advised me to talk to my husband and let him understand the need to have your people around you. It is so funny how a woman leaves her life for others, so peace will reign in the name of marriage.
A woman who is treated without respect, no affection and faces all manners of abuses will always fall back on her old flame. How some men insult their fathers and mothers-in law, drag them into the muds, yet expect their wives to be submissive, loyal and friendly is a story for another day. Nene, a nurse said “My ‘yankee’ old flame is my consolation plug.” Whenever we communicate, he sets me on fire and that makes me happy instead of listening to the abuse and heart-breaking stuff in marriage. I am married to a man who yells insults and abuses. After each quarrel, I resort to my old flame, the good time we usually have on social media keeps me going.”
Not too long ago, there was a season of old school re-union. That was a great season for many women, especially those who were looking for trusted and protected sex. A certain Federal Government co-education College announced their reunion and a distant friend leaped for joy. Mary was in high spirit and became the best wife so she could be permitted by her husband to attend the reunion. D-day is finally here and Mary and her school crush Ikponwosa a k a as Ik met at the airport en-route their station. Mary confessed that she needed the step-down from Ik because of poor treatment from her marriage. “From the airport, we checked into a hotel and had beautiful memorable times. I did not hold back, instead opened up to enjoy myself to the fullest. I was very sure of Ik as my old flame, he would protect me and keep sealed lips. I had real fun and look forward to more. So many men were so scared of this era and succeeded in shutting it out. It is less heard of these days.
Dearest men, know it that old-flame do not quench. Do not push your wife to rekindle her old flame because it is real. There is no saint, but try and do the needful, especially that which God called you to do, do it. Good conduct and character have no definition, but when it is seen, it is known.