When I was spending my holidays in 1965 with my uncle at Aba, I was surprised that he was sleeping with a certain married lady. Though I was not born-again, and had never heard about it, I demanded his rationale behind it. His feeble defence was that, if she was pregnant, he would not be associated with it as she had a husband. Three years after, he married. I could not ask him, if he would tolerate someone sharing his wife with him, knowing that he would not.
I read a post a married lady sent to the social media, concerning what a lady did to her. Ringing her, the lady told her that she spent a nice time with her spouse. It would have meant nothing to her, if the lady was their family member or one of her friends, but she was not. She and the lady were classmates in school, each struggling to beat the other academically. It made them not to be friends, but they pretended to be. She dismissed the lady’s information as a huge joke and told her that she was very busy. And she was.
What she saw next, were the photographs the lady sent to her WhatsApp, where she and her husbands were kissing and fondling each other. What an insult! If it were in a dream that she saw such photographs, a declaration of dry fasting for a week or more might be necessary. If she had returned from eye surgery, she might have blamed it all on her poor vision. Could it be a semblance of what William Shakespeare would call, ‘Improbable fiction’, in Twelfth Night? She might have pinched herself and it was obvious that it was in real life. Thank God that she mustered courage not to believe her.
As if the man and the lady had timed themselves, he called his wife immediately, enquiring how she was. Her response was that she was okay. I doff my hat for her. Many wives, passing through that excruciating experience, would have smeared their anger on their husbands. Not her! Some wives would have left for their parents’ home. Not her! Some might have been ready to leave when he returned. Not her! It was patience that was guiding her. If it were a man, however, that sent to a husband, such romantic photographs, he took with his wife, will he still marry her? May men answer me!
How do we react, when someone wants to take over our building? Do we allow him to do so, or do we fight him to a standstill, until he hands off? Is our behaviour different if it were our car, ordinary car? Why do we behave differently, if it is our spouse that someone wants to snatch? Does it mean that we place higher premium on property than on our spouse? During a wedding, out of all the people present, including their former boyfriends or girlfriends, a man and a lady would choose only one person to be joined with, in the marriage. It is thus, a public rejection of all their former girlfriends and boyfriends. A few days to my wedding, I saw my first girlfriend close to where preparations were being made for it. She was perhaps, giving a helpful hand. I gave her my wedding card. She even knew my bride. “You are fortunate to marry Sister,” she said. I think that she attended.
It is very ridiculous, how I would go back to her for sexual pleasure, and she would accept, after that public rejection, where I made my preference for another lady. It is absurd also, how a man would go back to a lady that rejected him publicly, during her wedding, by preferring another man. When I talk about making a preference, the man or lady does not need to have known you. The preference is on every man or lady on earth, known or to be known. Therefore, keep off every married person. Do not put asunder people God has joined.
If you own something of high quality, some people may plan to get it from you. It includes snatching your spouse. There is no extent they may not go to dispossess you of your spouse. That was what the lady above was trying to do, by sending to the wife, the ugly photographs of what she and her spouse were doing in a hotel. Recalling that she made a vow, before God and man, that nothing would separate them till death, the lady refused to quarrel with her or with her spouse.
When her husband returned, she did not confront him with the photographs and did not say anything about the lady. Her behaviour was as if nothing strange happened, because she wanted to protect her marriage. One day, that evil lady rang her, and it was Uncle that picked it. He saw the photographs of his kissing and fondling spree with the lady. He wondered why his wife did not confront him and how it did not reflect in her relationship with him. An example for couples! He apologized and pleaded for forgiveness. She obliged him.
That was a laud demonstration of true ownership. Ndigbo say that the owner of any lost thing recovers it with one hand. That was what this wise lady did. If she, like many wives, had fought her husband, she would have lost him and that lady would have inherited him. Uncle may not behave that way again. It is a lesson for husband- snatchers. She might have thought that the man’s wife would leave, for her to replace her, not reasoning why the man did not marry her. Her expectation turned to ashes in her mouth! Had the man’s wife left, and she moved in, sooner or later, she would amount to nothing, but Uncle’s bed partner, should they reconcile. Sooner or later too, she might be living a life of regret, for bearing no child. And sooner or later, the man’s children would grow up and then will drive her away one day.
This is what happens when someone is not born-again. If Uncle were born-again, he would not have been committing adultery with the strange lady. Some ladies try to seduce a child of God, but the good news is that they often fail. There is no acceptable excuse for committing sin. In Surulere, I was sharing the back gate with a lady, who would always return home late. As she alerted me, I would come out to drive out my car and then drive in hers. I was careful never to enter her house until I left. During her misunderstanding with a fellow tenant, the truth emerged, that the man was sleeping with her. Looking at her, one could not associate her with that conduct. Thank God for my principle: ‘Be on guard.’
It is difficult for a man to avoid a lady who is hunting for him. This is why a child of God must always be on guard, realizing that sexual sin requires making a choice between God and the lady. Will he please her at the expense of his salvation and then go to hell? May we not put our relationship with God asunder! May our union with our spouses never be put asunder! May we not break homes which God has joined!
For further comment, Please contact: Osondu Anyalechi: 0802 3002-471; [email protected]