There are not many reasons people walk away from friendship or love or partnership or queue or relationship. In fact, you cannot find up to two reasons in all. It is never because of anger or disappointment or pains occasioned by something that happened or by something the other person did or said. People have always walked away, people keep walking away and people shall always walk away because of -wait for it- self.
Take that again. No man leaves a woman because of her, and vice versa. No partner abandons a business because of the business or because of the other partner(s). No politician quits politics, no politician crosstitutes, because of politics or because of party A or party B. It is always about self; about survival.
So, is anyone pointing the finger or casting the first stone having now better understood the continuum that this human nature is? Whether you call it betrayal (as we do in relationship) or crosstitution (as we do in politics) or divorce (as we do in marriage) walking away is a human escape route that is allowed by God and the law. It is all right, it is legal, it is traditional for man to walk away from man. However, how and when does man get to the point of walking away?
The decision to walk away is not automatic, in most cases. Depending on some variables, walking aways takes days, weeks, months, even years to culminate. It germinates in the mind, grows steadily, waiting for the window called excuse or reason or time. Then, it explodes.
Before getting to the point of walking away, the person constantly scans through the backlog of bitterness, of frustration, of humiliation, of intimidation and above all, of signs of terminal danger and hopelessness they have had to deal with. Are you ignoring or insulting or mistreating or threatening or undervaluing someone you think cannot do sans you? Dear Oxygen, which you are not, such a one shall walk away -in the fullness of time. That is, if they haven’t already.
In many ways, the process of walking away is like that of pregnancy. “A thief that cometh in the night.” It hides only for a while. Suddenly, everyone can see it; then everyone can see its outcome. So, stop blaming people who walked away. It takes courage to have. Those you should dread, those who can kill you are those who should have walked away but didn’t; those who walked away in their mind but stayed physically. Please find them and deal with them (by walking away yourself) before too late.
In my home state of Akwa Ibom, where I currently reside and work, there is an ad hoc interesting developing story. But, you know, walking away is a personal thing, a survival strategy. Anyone who believes that grass is greener yonder is free to go there to see things for themselves. Rather than cry blue murder or curse them as if we ourselves, given the chance, would prefer stone to bread or snake to fish, we should simply wish them well while praying that we never find ourselves between a rock and a hard place. Seriously, that is one prayer everyone should pray because walking away is a personal experience. Sometimes, walking away is of God because you deserve better. At other times, it is of Satan because God wants to promote or reward another in your stead. Unfortunately, how and when to know which is which is completely and totally out of human hands because it is supernatural.
This is it, though. Those on the verge of moving away should firstly and secondly and thirdly prayerfully consider the matter. No debates, no emotions, no games, no noises, no sentiments. Because, listen, moving away is not child’s play. Yes, look, moving away can mean death -mentally or physically or politically or professionally or psychologically or romantically or spiritually or all of the above.
From the foregoing, we come to the conclusion that was introduced at the beginning of this entry. Walking away is driven by a personal desire to prove a point, to shame a shamer, to succeed, to survive as well as to test what we cannot explain. Alas, walking away is a spiritual exercise that should never be approached carnally. Or, you walk away but run back sooner or later, shamefully.
God bless Nigeria!
Be careful: Humility can mess you
The edition of last week drew quite some truckloads of responses. We thought to bring them directly to you. Here are some, all of which have been sparsely edited. Enjoy:
‘’Over Humility.’’ Sincerely speaking, having read to the end, I realised how much I have missed reading this column. May I ask: what in God’s name inspired this topic? Throughout the very entertaining piece I was just wondering, what exactly was on your mind when this piece found seed in your subconsciousness?
The Boss, tell me when last you read anything close to this very important theme? Yes, I reckon with living life in simplicity and humility and dare say everyone considers this a virtue and not a vice. Does this not then apply that to now live a life of oversimplicity or overhumility should automatically translate to a good thing?
Alas! Your piece broke that logical conclusion to smithereens. ‘’Walahi,’’ the way you took us through your analysis, ehn, got me twisted.
Then you added the cherry on top of the cake with two resounding live cases to prove your point. Hahahaha! Lest I forget, the bit on God’s photograph and physical address almost punctured my liver with laughter too.
Your message was driven home succinctly thereafter. Men! What a rush!
But, The Boss, I’m still curious to know what inspired this. The message clearly spoke to me and I know it has to thousands too. We must find a balance in our character moulding and personae projection.
Well done, The Boss.
Precious Akhiankore
York St John University
York, United Kingdom
(reaching out from Charleyland)
The Boss, thanks very much for this piece. I am very glad you wrote this. Too many have taken advantage of my simple and humble life.
I always want to flip and tell them that I have had enough. Then, the first thing they will say is, ‘’please call Akparawa Michael BUSH and report him. That is the one person he respects so much.’’
The Boss, when they come, immediately know that they took advantage of my humility for too long. That I was only hitting back, and hitting hard. Nice write up, The Boss, our Boss.
Aniefiok Essien (Engr)
Bonny, Rivers state
Today’s edition of your Monday column isn’t any exception from the wonderful articles you always assemble. Touching on different areas, I wonder if you write these articles for reference purposes in your diary because for this year you might have not less than fifty two of them. Good to know too that you just rounded off a Master’s degree.
I had always wondered why, with all that is in your head, you never had a doctorate degree. Dr Michael BUSH or Akparawa Michael BUSH, Ph.D. just sounds so smooth. Like Dr Udeme Nana who undertook a lecturing career after his political career, I hope you do the same.
I wonder though, if your age will give you opportunity to become Professor Michael BUSH before retirement at the age of 70. Furthermore, I am even more delighted that you mentioned Dr Nsikak Idiong because my younger sister at the communication and media studies faculty told me I shouldn’t fail to invite the same Dr Nsikak Idiong to my book launch. That he loves students doing beyond excellence in the classroom.
Surely, he will be on the list too but I haven’t met him yet. I will do when it’s time.
As for the theme of humility, I hate the humility that hides my real personality. Sometimes, arrogance can serve better than humility. I believe that we should be humble so that we do not trample on people’s rights while we should be arrogant so that we do not get taken for granted.
A little to the right, a little to the left is better than self-serving humility. Show them what you are made of even if you are made of nothing or not in their class. Don’t act Jesus and a fool at the same time.
That is my principle. Some people are blinded by humility and it hides their realness. God bless you, The Boss, for explaining the absence of ‘’God bless Nigeria.’’
Abasi-Imo Ibanga Ekranmbong
Many thanks, The Boss, for this serving. Too much humility will lead to humiliation. President Ibrahim Traore of Burkina Faso experienced it.
He was humiliated and insulted by an Air Hostess and a Business Man aboard Air France. He caused it because he chose to travel without bodyguards or presidential aides. But when the flight landed in Ouagadougou, he showed the two people that it’s not proper to treat others based on the colour of their skin.
Essien Ukpe, Ph.D.
Senior Lecturer
Akwa Ibom State University
Obio Akpa Campus
The Boss, I read last week’s Talking Nonsense: Humility and Simplicity. This is my take. For the staff member who got fired, I think it was a leadership problem even though you stated that initiative is key in BUSH HOUSE NIGERIA.
If the person who sat on the walkway of the recording hall was a staff member, they should have been aware of all award recipients. Before commencement of the recording, every team member should have known dignitaries expected. Even not all, the one who sat there. proper communication didn’t seem to have happened.
Not allowing the award recipient in was just acting on your instructions. Having attended 20 QUESTIONS recordings, I always see strictness. I do remember when you ordered a man whose phone rang at the November 2024 edition (ADBN Hall, Uyo) out, since there was a standing instruction of no phones.
SUNDAY FRANK
Eco Bloom | Faculty President | Exemplary Influencer
Extreme humility can be viewed as timidity. Humility should be exercised with a sense of honour. This will help in setting boundaries for one’s humility so as not be taken for granted.
About the entry of last week, “God bless Nigeria” was conspicuously absent. I thought you were just tired of Nigeria and it’s many troubles. Thanks for explaining that seemingly small detail.
Elder Godwin Asuquo
Ibesikpo Asutan LGA
Akwa Ibom state
Next week … Don’t miss: Bickering over crumbs