They are odd, curious, eerie, queer and freakish. Name it. We shamefully have them in reckless abundance. And they keep popping up almost every minute.
Here, we have great talents for the absurd. In fact, they are limitless. Frivolities and trivialities are our past times. We cherish them with uncommon relish.
Bishop Matthew Kukah threw banter at us the other day. The fiery Catholic priest supervises the Sokoto Diocese. His teasing remarks sent us rolling in unending laughter. And we did laugh our hearts out.
He undertook a serious survey of our plight. He was meticulous. He gauged the Bola Ahmed Tinubu Presidency. He was short of words. To find his bearing, he attempted to seek reference from his predecessor.
The cleric was convinced of his odd findings. So, he reached out humorously to us. He was forced to think aloud. Almost unconsciously, he uttered: “I think we should thank former president Muhammadu Buhari in a very special way.”
His thought; Buhari and his Attorney General, Abubakar Malami, deserve appreciation. Yes, for the way they handled us for eight sordid years. His exact words: “(Yesterday) I spent quite a lot of time calling the former Attorney General, they deserve appreciation.
“As you know, Goodluck Jonathan handed over an $800 million bill to be settled, and President Buhari said, No. I think their resilience has brought us to where we are.”
For this singular but spectacular reason: “I would like to say that we owe them gratitude.” Aren’t we?
To appreciate Buhari so soon! What Herculean task! But, since Kukah ordered it, we have no viable choice. We just must do it the way he wants it done. All hail Buhari.
Never we forget hurriedly. Buhari himself was cocksure. He said it before we walked him out of our lives on May 29, 2023. He predicted it accurately. And it’s coming to fruition pretty so soon.
This is exceedingly beyond our remote expectations. What an awkward country we have on our fragile laps! It is one of the uncanny musings of our perilous times. We have them in legion. SAD.
Garba Shehu won’t give up on Buhari. He is his spokesman, in and out of the Villa. He spoke long before Kukah mused. His earlier encounter with Mrs. Remi Tinubu is appropriate at this juncture.
She fired a deadly salvo: “All we inherited are things that had happened many years ago. We are not here to put blame on any administration but to fix what has been damaged.”
Garba was furious. He shot back: “If there were hardships or problems, these should be looked into, to know how they came about.
“No administration in this country found itself in economic issues like Buhari’s because of our dependence on oil and prices, which went down. He was emphatic: “Alhamdulillah, Buhari brought the Nigerian economy out of that crisis.”
Shehu beat his chess proudly: “There has not been a single area that had not been touched by the Buhari government. We have seen massive positive changes in the last eight years.
“But as they say, the one who is pretending to be asleep is harder to wake up than the one who is actually sleeping.” Just as he told Mrs. Tinubu, Kukah not only missed it. He equally mixed and messed it up.
His final words: “President Muhammadu Buhari has done his part and left. History will judge him and fairly I think.” Certainly. That’s given.
Just then, a retiring member of the Supreme Court “rocked” the sacred boat. He came out forcefully, very clear in his mind. Justice Musa Dattijo Muhammad is it!
He firmly confirmed our fears about our judiciary. It was a Friday like never before. He literally opened up. A Pandora box of some sort! Stinking and nauseating:
“As presently structured, the CJN (Chief Justice of Nigeria) is Chairman, National Judicial Commission (NJC), which oversees both the appointment and discipline of judges. He is equally the chair, Federal Judicial Service Commission (FJSC), National Judicial Institute (NJI) and Legal Practitioners Privileges Committee (LPPC) that appoints Senior Advocates of Nigeria.
“My considered opinion: the oversight functions of these bodies should not rest on an individual alone. A person with absolute powers, it is said, corrupts easily and absolutely.”
He refused to be deterred: “As chair of NJC, FJSC, NJI and LPPC, appointments as council, board and commitment members are at his pleasure. He neither confers with fellow justices nor seeks their counsel or input on any matter related to these bodies. He has both the final and the only say.”
Our own maximum ruler! His word is law: “The CJN has the power to appoint 80 per cent of members of the council and 60 per cent of members of FJSC. The same applies to NJI and LPPC. Such enormous powers are effortlessly abused. This needs to change.” Immediately too.”
Muhammad is not done yet: “To ensure justice and transparency in presidential appeals from the lower court, all geo-political zones are required to participate in the hearing.”
That never happened: “It is, therefore, dangerous for democracy and equity for two entire regions to be left out in the decisions that will affect the generality of Nigerians.”
This was the state of the Supreme Court then and now. That way, it decided the presidential election appeal: “As it stands, only four geo-political regions – the South-West, South-South, North-West and North-East are represented in the Supreme Court. While the South-South and North-East have two serving justices, the North-West and South-West are fully represented with three each.”
Justice Muhammad’s painting of the apex court is shocking and alarming. Our judiciary is in the eye of the storm. It’s dangerously standing on trembling legs. It’s struggling, fumbling and tumbling.
And those who should act are looking elsewhere. They play around carelessly. They opt to dwell richly on things that matter least. As the judiciary desperately gasps for survival. They waste prime time emphasising our weaknesses and differences.
Where is the renewed hope? See how they sweep our strengths under the carpet. It’s musings, musings all the way.
In the mid of these, this cheering news sauntered in. It remains a promissory note for now. Yet, it’s worthy.
It is one sure way of halting the free-fall of our fragile naira. Its implementation demands strong will, honesty. I am strongly convinced, it’s a needed path out of the woods.
Taiwo Oyedele chairs the Presidential Committee on Fiscal Policy and Tax Reforms (PCFPTR). What a wonderful toga he wears. He moved against the dollar. He went straight for its jugular. He didn’t feign pretention.
He cheerfully lightened us up. He has a job to do:
“This whole idea of paying levies, taxes in foreign currency will stop before the end of this year. If you are a Nigerian company or individual who does business in naira, why should we pay taxes in dollars? We shouldn’t be creating demand against our currency.”
Gbam! You hit the nail right on the head. There should be no other currency of doing business inside of here. It must our naira. Both indigenous and foreign companies must fall in line. No negotiation. That’s the universal practise.
The committee should not stop at that. That could be dangerous. Oyedele should stop some businesses being conducted and paid for dollars in Nigeria. That should not be permitted any longer.
It puts unnecessary stress on our dwindling FOREX. Serious countries abhor it like a plague. It’s a pandemic that we cuddle without caring a hoot. We even flaunt it. We’re killing ourselves by ourselves. We greedily open our unstable economy to wolves to devour. And they feast on it with glee.
The committee wisely opened dialogue with governors. They aimed at “suspending multiple taxes that frustrate businesses and make life difficult for our people.” Nigeria has over 60 official taxes, with more than 200 unofficial ones.
Tell them: “The more taxes you have, actually, the less revenue you collect.” Why? “Because it just creates the opportunity for leakages and some non-state actors collecting money and keeping it to themselves.
“We have managed to convince the governors. We want to create a national portal for transparent spending for all public spending on projects for all tiers of government.”
That is the best path to tread. This is one good step in the right direction. Leakages and loopholes are battering our vulnerable economy. Back and forth. They must be plugged fast.
We are in dire need of real determination. And raw guts!