Well over a decade ago, when Gov. Godswill Akpabio -as he then was- was rounding off his eight years in Government House, Uyo, Akwa Ibom State, a reverend-gentleman-cum-civil servant told me the story of his courtship to a young Unoma. It was a true Godswill Akpabio story, filled with his trademark real-life humorous drama and love and twists and turns and tests. Dr. Otuekong Ukut, now a retired permanent secretary serving as a Methodist bishop, painted the picture of the young Unoma remaining in all that time precociously consistent and dutiful and generous and supportive; culminating as a perfect wife material the then young lawyer could never let go. And, decades after both became husband and wife, she has remained the very epitome of who a home tender is: a dependable, noiseless central remote control.
Mrs. Ekaette Unoma Akpabio is the carbon copy of the daughter, of the niece, of the sister, of the aunt, of the wife, of the mother and, if you like, of the boss everyone should have. She brings to the table of family and humanity such uncanny generosity of spirit which has not been spoken enough of. Throughout the Akpabio years in Akwa Ibom, during which she of course was first lady, she was fondly referred to as either Mother Theresa of our time or Eka Esit Mbom (which is Akwa Ibom for Compassionate Mother). This writer used to think that such fond nomenclatures were products of the ever present overzealous sycophants who almost always resorted to incredible sweet-nothings for you-know-why.
However, around the twilight of the administration, something happened between on one hand, the first lady and on the other, my benefactor and big friend, Mr Don Etim, who was then honourable commissioner, Works. Sadly, about that time things had suddenly gone kaput between the then governor and his erstwhile secretary to state government and bosom friend, Mr Umana Okon Umana, who was running for governor (2015). Being a front line staunch supporter of Mr Umana, the way politics happens in Akwa Ibom, I was expected to shut up and ignore the online insults that people who knew next to nothing were hurling at Mr Etim, over nothing. I have never wanted to be politically correct so I dived in, wondering why a grateful, humble elder who chooses to honour his much younger leader publicly should be dishonoured on Facebook.
The day after he left government (May 30, 2015), Mr Don Etim flew straight to my Abuja home (I had since re-relocated fully back to base) and spent about five hours with me. That day, he spoke at length about how gratitude is a lifestyle for him; how he was grateful for the many ways God used then Gov. Akpabio and his wife in his life. Then, when I told him I never got to meet Mrs. Akpabio in person and that I always wondered why people seemed fonder of her than even her political virtuoso husband, he broke off in emotional reminiscences. He ended with a line that I shall never forget.
Mr Don Etim was explaining to me why he did what he did for Mrs Akpabio in public, and how he felt that media professionals like me (who know better) ought to never stop educating the public on why modernity or wealth or both should never deceive us to despise our culture. He reasoned (and he was spot on) that if knowing God hadn’t made us humble, gratitude should humble us to the point of killing our characteristic self entitlement and pride. I really miss my sessions and mental exchanges with that iconic born again Christian especially nowadays when so-called Christian public office holders boast in the open that they are not born again. So, what line did Mr Don Etim drop that I shall remember all my life?
I knew you have been angling for it all this while, purportedly reading me. I wish I could hold it and keep you anxious much longer. Well, here you are, with the double barrel. Of Mrs. Ekaette Unoma Akpabio, Mr Don Etim said: “Her Excellency is a Christian in every sense; truly humane: truly generous, but even more, she is the person every person should have in their corner!”
I have never ceased ruminating on that clincher. True, Mrs. Ekaette Unoma Akpabio is the number one defender of her husband and their causes. Even in the very few situations she has tended to be portrayed negatively (for example, during the Victor Attah international airport, Uyo incident in December 2018), an objective analysis would prove beyond every doubt that all she does is to protect his interest. Too many other wives and mothers put own image or what people would say even ahead of their husband’s or children’s interest. This is the main reason that only a handful of Unomalike wives and mothers exist.
Even when the odds are not in favour, you can trust the enigmatic woman to be on the ground anytime the need arises to support her husband, family and the people -especially those who are socially obscure. During her 2007 to 2015 first lady heyday, there was no denying the fact that her verifiable impact contributed significantly to uncommon transformation, which remains to this day the unanimously accepted surname for her husband’s two tenures as governor. Her Family Life Enhancement Initiative Programme, a-not-for-profit organisation, was the ubiquitous vehicle she deployed within and without the state to touch lives of Akwaibomights and promote the wellbeing of families; offering in the process unprecedented “help to the helpless, home for the homeless and hope for the hopeless.”
In spite of having played a critical role vis-a-vis media and electioneering, in the emergence of that governorship, I ended up outside all through the two terms. Fortunately, I cannot honestly blame the then governor, because he made at least four uncommon attempts to get me on board. So, this is a frank assessment: I knew firsthand about the then first lady’s pet project and the legacies of her own uncommon charitable acts. Hear her at that time: “we are therefore poised to play our part towards restoring values and reducing social disadvantage among the most vulnerable families in Akwa Ibom state.”
Her firstladyship went above and beyond making her a versatile helper. At one fell swoop, she was and remains a proven juvenile reformer, a trusted women/children advocate, and a treasured caregiver who is always present for correctional centre inmates as well as to assist all and sundry in need of health and medical rescue. Her shelter support programme built and donated many homes to families headed by an indigent widow or widower or orphan. When she had barely been first lady for just a year and a half, she started and completed a purpose built facility in aid of juvenile reformation which today stands as one of the many relics of her “deeds of mercy.”
In November 2008, during the inauguration of the project, she said some things. Some things that government across every stratum should never gloss over. “My decision to put up this facility was informed by a visit I made to a remand home. I saw children chained and kept in inhuman conditions.
“As I interacted with them, I felt the hurt in their eyes more than the scars on their body. I became sad (because) such punitive measures instead of having a corrective effect could embitter the children against the society and turn them into anti-social elements. I listened to their stories. Then I decided, if these children were to have a fighting chance, in life, they would have to be in a correctional facility with educational and vocational skill acquisition opportunities.”
That’s who Mrs. Ekaette Unoma Akpabio is: a see and talk and do person of privilege. At work, her staff members and lieutenants speak of a boss with a heart of gold; quite accommodating, quite compassionate; quite committed and quite diligent. In business, many of her clients (mainly parents) tell me they find her quite generous, quite patient and quite understanding. However, while I agree in whole with all the adjectives above, I need to add that I personally also find her quite shrewd!
Here is my personal story to confirm that Mrs. Ekaette Unoma Akpabio is indeed a complete and special breed. Having never met her (I still haven’t) I WhatsApped her one very early morning in November last year about how she could facilitate DSTV broadcast of the all-media parlour game, 20 QUESTIONS, the flagship programme of my media firm, BUSH HOUSE NIGERIA. About 30 minutes after seeing the chat (she obviously first watched the 27-minute footage I had attached) she asked what it would take. Let us say, for academic purposes, that I requested six whatever for the first six months.
Very shrewd negotiator, she offered something below a third and for days the Akwa Ibom woman of class, who has clearly not forgotten her Igbo roots, stylishly and softly refused to shift an inch. Please don’t get it twisted, the foregoing is just some comic relief. The real takeaway is the fact that despite my pdpishness, she not only agreed to deal but also trusted me whom she had never met by releasing agreement in full and sans any paperwork whatsoever. I understand when one or two persons tried to get her to cancel the deal, she told them words that re-echo in my mind’s ears every day: “If Mr BUSH doesn’t do the work, then I shall count the loss not as business but as charity.”
Four months on, the programme that she helped is on DSTV channel 258 and Startimes channel 140, every Wednesday 11am and Friday, 9pm plus on radio. Try and follow 20 QUESTIONS, even if you can’t. So much to learn, to unlearn, to relearn. And, please, whenever you listen to or watch 20 QUESTIONS, please remember to say a prayer or two for the fantastic big woman and her family.
Enter the University of Calabar. During the tertiary institution’s golden jubilee two Saturdays ago, Mrs. Ekaette Unoma Akpabio was honoured with an honorary doctorate in educational management. Considering her track record in the sector, I felt the award by her husband’s alma mater was well-deserved and a befitting corporate thankyou for her silent family and public selfless exemplariness. Furthermore, I see the timing of the honour on his wonderful wife as the University of Calabar’s rock-solid and end of discussion solidarity with its well-decorated alumnus, Senate President Godswill Akpabio, CON, GCON.
Finally, while celebrating the leadership of that university for the boldness of that decision and the timeousness of the award, it is hoped that others are learning and planning. We should strike every time we have the chance. Similarly, I join the world again and again to congratulate Her Excellency, Dr Ekaette Unoma Akpabio not only on the milestone but also on the uncountable lives she has touched. May her well never run dry.
God bless Nigeria!