Like the regular cellphone, For a variety of reasons, the love battery of a couple can drop to just one bar, for a variety of reasons. The battery may even fall as low as three percent, setting off a frantic appeal by the phone to be recharged.
Just like the phone, love battery of a couple need the be recharged, to keep the relationship steady, healthy, loving, fulfilling and romantic.
It is of great importance that couples reboot their love mode without the interference of an outsider. With this they will be in perfect control of their lives. One might wonder how a man or woman can be in control of his woman or her man. Yes, it is doable through positive vibes, good conduct and wisdom and intelligence. Though one might not be 100 percent in control of another person’s life but there must be answered prayers along the line.
I stumbled on a very touching message online which was written by a celebrated female artiste whose marriage broke down. In her write up she regretted leaving her marriage and said: “Ladies, please try and resolve differences with your husbands. Separation and divorce are not the best options except there is domestic violence, then you should run for your dear life. Most of us who are separated wear the shoe and know where it is pinching. Forget all the social media rabblerousing, and describing the female involved as “strong woman”, “queen” Iron Lady and the like.
While admonishing ladies to resolve their challenges, she then asked: when most of you ladies take a walk from your marriage, do you sit back to watch the world do a merry-go-round? No, you also wake up, make yourself available and keep up with the Joneses. In that process, another man might catch your fancy and vice versa. A relationship might spark up immediately.”
Now, when you take a walk from your marriage, the next man you will meet and date probably is a married man. Have you bothered to know what his wife had endured to still be there as a wife? Do you know the number of sleepless, crying, praying and counselling nights she might have gone through? Do you know the sacrifices she has made to keep her man? Do you know what she has been through in hands of her in-laws just to remain in marriage. Do you know the bitter pills you could not take that she swallowed just to remain in that marriage? Do you know how many times she activated her love mode? Who told you her own love was not fading at a time? But she became smart and chose to activate it. Sister, know it today that not all that glitters are gold. Women who had endured for 10-30 years in marriage deserves some flowers.
You that cannot take rubbish in your marriage, sister, stay on your lane and be mindful of yourself. Do not go and pour sand-sand in another woman’s garri by dragging her husband with her. Do not divide their attention.
It is unfortunate that most of the separated and divorce beautiful babes will always date married men because the single boys will never marry them. Handsome sixpack hunk will only get entangled with them for selfish reasons and take off when they are through. Again, in Africa, many families differ when their son bring home a divorcee for marriage. The reason why men and women should settle their differences as spouses and move on.
Sandra, a big girl banker could not believe her female lawyer friend who was in charge of her divorce tussle hurriedly filed and processed her divorce papers quickly. Next, the lawyer friend married her divorced husband. Sandra went gaga… but it was too late.
In the same vein, a close friend Fidel, who is also a lawyer poured out her heart privately to her friend who used her story as one of her advices for the monthly women meeting. Fidel’s friend Mercy used her friend’s situation to admonish women. “I have a friend who regrets leaving her marriage. Though she alleged domestic violence and her family helped her immediately to divorce her marriage. “What rubbish, how can you abuse a learned female counsel of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.” Fidel moved out of her matrimonial home with her 8-months old baby girl. 15-years down the line, Fidel said “I wish I was matured to take personal decision; I would not have left my marriage. In fact, I would work to make things happen. I would have lived in that abusive relationship, at least to raise more children and build my own family to behold. Today, when I travel to my people, my daughter and I are confined to my late mother’s old house while my brothers live in their mansions with their families. During festive periods, they would be very busy with their own families while my daughter and I watch them like cinema’s. My heart breaks the more because none has time for my daughter and I. Before good morning would fall out of their mouth, they have hopped inside their cars and zoomed off. I regret walking away from my marriage.
Some beautiful Nollywood actresses drag themselves all over the social media for alleged marriage serial cheat. In various another post, they are at each other’s throat for alleged cheat and counter cheat.
Interestingly, common knowledge has proven that all the challenges in marital relationships could be resolved if only the players are interested to change their mindset. That men need their respect intact is not contestable while women go over the hills for their love and care.
Now, for the willing souls who crave for happy moments in their lives again; they can start with special pet name meant for just the two of them, it brings bond and drops anger. With joyful pet-names, it would endear couples closer to each other. Such closeness will embolden them to look into each other’s eyes and have heart to heart conversation.
A man who is romantic, who wants the climax of the night to get to the ceiling would always settle issues with his wife. It would not be a bad idea to hold her hand and walk into a public place where both could be seen. What if the man chooses to pull up the seat for his woman not minding her squeezed face, such will go a long way to strengthen the cracking relationship.
Couples can bounce back in the wee hours of the night when they are alone in their private corner, both lie skin-to-skin. Such moments send out sensational good signals which resolves issues. It usually is a great moment for both especially when the body becomes so warmth and heated up. A heated man whose third leg is in dire need of a hole to explore can promise his woman heaven and earth. Women also scream out when they are dealt with in the other room. A woman who is properly vacuum-cleaned would be the first to call his master his various pet names. She would prepare his favourite meals and look at his face to know the next move. When a man defends his sexual title on his woman, the woman has no choice than to bow down and obey. Women also know that there are hawks outside their homes who are ready to swing unto their men and enjoy the same hot oil-rig-exploration. Sexual relationship cannot be underrated in a relationship, it is a great deal for both men and women especially in settling issues. Rita, a classmate told of how she won her husband through sex. She said “I am not the pretentious type, when I need my man Raymond, he will know that I need him. In 12-years of our relationship, we grew on each other from school and got married barely after our national service. He met me a virgin, but I discovered he would complain that I do not know what to do with him in bed. I went into research and became a professional. When I applied all I read, saw and watched, it was like fire for both of us. He confessed and said, you have become a real enjoyable woman.” Once has my hubby shown up from the office just to chop-and-clean mouth and return to the office. Off course we enjoyed the moment and he went back to work with the memory. When he complained about my poor sexual performance, I personally resolved the issue instead of quarrelling.
Dear Nigerian men and women; one can simply choose to delete and purge out all bad vibes, feelings, regret and change his or her mindset to a positive way. Paying attention to details helps strengthen the relationships. Surprise gifts as little as fruits with the right words, ‘I bought this for you can tune down the anger of the day. Surprise SMS message to him or her is sure way of knowing your partner want the marriage the work. Responsibility and integrity are key.