• Task families to raise bar on parenting
• Warn young women to beware of rogue lovers
By Cosmas Omegoh
The constant killing of young women by their rogue lovers is taking an increasingly concerning twist.
Worry is mounting in the ranks of parents and stakeholders as they fear the fate of undiscerning young women who are falling victims.
In the past months, an increasing number of young ladies have been killed by a tribe of felons pretending to love them.
To parents, this new trend portends evil; the scary times clearly hold a bad omen for the society.
Recent interactions with some parents mirrored their fears and worries for the young women who might fall the harm’s way if they don’t take their time.
Parents who spoke to Sunday Sun could not make sense out of what some young men are doing right now.
They cannot understand this new rave of butchering women they claim to love.
In the days when men and women who are parents now were young, the evil of nowadays never existed.
None of such was neither seen nor heard of. Love at that time was pure and sweet. But now, things have changed. So, they have advised all parents to return to parenting their children.
Barely two weeks ago, for instance, news of the gruesome murder of Salome, Eleojo Adaidu, 24, by a certain Timileyin Ajayi, a singer, broke. Salome was said to have been beheaded and dismembered. The story of her sad end was as gory as it could be; it jarred the nerves, sparking outrage as it weaved through as one of those most dastardly acts anyone could imagine.
Eyewitnesses said that Ajayi was caught with the remains of Salome in his home as he allegedly readied to dispose of them.
The grim spectacle set off fires of concerns among many who heard about it, and went on to underline people’s fears that truly something about the present society has snapped and fallen precipitously.
The killing of Salome which happened in Nasarawa State, came on the heels of similar reported killings of young girls in unclear circumstances in Asaba, Awka, Lagos, Benin City, Port Harcourt, Abuja and other cities across the country last year.
Each one of the killings bore similar marks: the victims were either killed by their lovers – in a fit of anger or by suspected ritualists aka Yahoo Plus boys who now populate every neigbourhood.
The victims never saw through the maze of deceit that hung before them until the untoward happened. Their killers pounced, ending what once was going blissfully tragically – fatally. None of the victims had a chance to explain what went down. That is the new wave now sweeping the country. Younger women are being taken down by the gale; they are paying a heavy price in their numbers – some undiscovered, their stories unreported.
To parents, the recent killing of young girls is becoming too many. So, they are distraught.
Mrs Ojomachenwu Adaidu is among the most inconsolable mothers right now. She is the late Salome’s mother.
Mrs Adaidu lamented how Salome had assumed the role of husband to her by providing for her needs since her real husband and Salome’s father passed on.
Until her death at the hands of Ajayi, Salome was a member of the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) serving in Abuja.
The way the news of Salome’s killing was broken to Mrs Adaidu was something no parent would ever wish for.
“At about 3:30p.m on that fateful day,” she reportedly said, “I was lying down when someone called me, speaking in Hausa. I told him I don’t understand Hausa language, but I could see that he was speaking to me with my daughter’s cell phone. So, he said he would later seek out for someone to talk to me.
“It was about 8:00p.m, when my brother-in-law came. He broke the news that my daughter had been beheaded.
“Just then I screamed ‘God forbid it; not my daughter! I started praying not knowing that the evil deed had already been done.”
Now, imagine the pain of a mother after spending her life’s fortune to raise her girl child only for her to be killed by a scruffy, ragamuffin lover.
Imagine the ordeal Mrs Adaidu went through to see her daughter through school – denying herself life’s comfort in desperate bid to give her a head start to life.
But as Salome was beginning to be of help to her mother, she was cut down needlessly in her prime.
Now, there are many parents like Mrs Adaidu who have rivers of agony coursing through their hearts.
They share in her grief, and remain inconsolable because they too can tell how it feels to be a parent.
“Sincerely, what is going on right now is unexpected.
“The situation is acutely concerning and worrisome,” Chief Adeolu Ogubanjo, national chairman, Parents Teacher Association of Nigeria (PTA), said with his voice laden with emotions.
Chief Goddy Uwazuruike, a lawyer and an Ohanaeze Ndigbo chieftain, joined in lamenting the trend, emphasising that the killing of Salome was “devastating.”
“I have always known it that the essence of love is togetherness. Anyone who is loving a girl is supposed to protect her. But I cannot understand this new idea of young people killing their girlfriends – girls they claimed to love?
“Every parent is devastated to hear this,” he said.
Bringing a legal perspective to the development, he said: “If it ever happens to me – may God forbid it anyway – I will ask for the full weight of the law to be brought on the said culprit. There is no excuse; there will be no messing with that.
“My daughter did not ask anyone to come and befriend her; you came on your own pretending to love her. Then you kill her…?
“Killing my daughter, or a relation or someone distant from me remains evil till tomorrow.”
Cause of current problem
Chief Adebanjo maintained that the reason “the matter is becoming worrisome and a source of concern is because we have lost our moral virtues. Indiscipline too is coming into it. “Everything points to the fact that parenting is becoming weaker and weaker by the day.
“These days, some parents do not have time to supervise their children. They don’t have time to admonish them on the way to live; many of them are not actually parenting well.”
He believes that following what is going on right now, “it is time for parents to create new ways of counseling and admonishing their children.
“We need to turn our children’s minds and hearts away from this get-rich-quick idea that is fast catching on.
“The youths of these days don’t want to work anymore, yet they want to make money. They don’t want to work hard and bid their time hoping that in few years’ time, things will change for the better.
“Unfortunately, when they make little cash and flash it before these girls, the latter get easily attracted, not knowing what they are in for.
“I think for parents, this is the right time to return to the drawing board.”
Then he added: “Dear parents raise your game. Draw your children nearer to you and begin to counsel them. Don’t leave that to the school teachers!”
Implication of trend for society
While also lamenting the ill which has bedeviled the society, a sociologist, Mr Godwin Udenka, said:
“Nigeria is fast becoming an anomic society.
“Anomie is a sociological theory that explores how a lack of social standards can lead to deviant behaviour and crime.
“In Nigeria today, there seems to be a complete breakdown of norms, values and standard of behaviour. It is a system of total social collapse in which there are no expectations to behavioural standards and the people are living without any visible restraint to certain kind of behaviour.
“Whether in the political, economic, judicial or social spheres, impunity seems to be the order of the day. Some of the indications of an anomic state are a society characterised by rebellion and non-conformity. So, what we are seeing is a people rebelling against the society and societal structures especially the political structure that has pauperised the greater majority.
“This state of normlessness has made Nigeria to become a country where moral restraint has exited the door and savagery has taken over. Many are killed by bandits and kidnappers without remorse. A set of people will go to beer parlours and open fire on defenseless citizens and the government does not react. There is no more value for human life. There is somewhat emotional emptiness – lack of purpose and despair in the land.”
Words for the girl child
As a way of curbing the menace, Chief Uwazuruike warned young girls to beware of flocking to strangers they meet on social media.
“I cannot understand why young girls will meet someone on Facebook and they will ask them to come and meet them in an hotel and they will rush there – somebody they have not met before? For me, it doesn’t add up.”
He, therefore, blamed them for contributing to their woes, saying: “Sadly in the manner of those girls, they keep their movements secret because they don’t want their families to know what they are doing. Unfortunately, quite often, they are killed and dumped by the roadside. They leave their families in agony, waiting and wailing.
“My advice to them is this: put in a word, wisdom is inborn, use it and you will be saved.”