By Bianca Iboma-Emefu
A woman, who reported her husband for domestic violence ended up homeless the same day, not because of the abuse, but because she dared to speak up. The shocking story, shared during a media briefing by Oluwatoyin Mokwe, programme officer at the Leadership Initiative for Youth Empowerment (LIFE), highlights the persistent cultural and systemic barriers confronting survivors of gender-based violence (GBV) in Nigeria.
Speaking to journalists in Lagos recently, Mokwe recounted how the woman arrived at LIFE’s office with visible injuries — swelling on her head and bite marks across her back. “She didn’t have to say too much; her body told the story,” Mokwe said, addressing issues of gender-based violence and empowering women in her community.
With a heart heavy with concern, she sprang into action, rallying a response team and preparing to intervene.
However, what followed after the alarming call would expose stark truths about the resilience of cultural norms and the systemic challenges faced by women in her community.
The LIFE team immediately swung into action,they reported the abuse to the appropriate police division, recognizing the importance of jurisdiction in Nigeria’s justice system. But instead of empathy or urgency, they were met with a disturbing level of indifference and victim-blaming from the authorities.
“The officer asked the victim, ‘What did you do? Was your mouth running?’” Mokwe recalled. “Even those meant to deliver justice often reinforce the trauma.”
Though the perpetrator — a man in his 60s — was eventually arrested, the backlash from the woman’s community was swift. Her landlord, angry that she had involved the police, condemned her for “disgracing” the man she once had children with.
“In Yoruba, he told her it’s a taboo to arrest someone you’ve had children with,” Mokwe said. “Then he told her not to return to her home. The same home she had paid rent for.”By nightfall, she had nowhere to go.
‘The community’s response revealed an unsettling truth: despite years of advocacy and awareness, cultural beliefs regarding marriage and masculinity remained deeply entrenched. The notion that a woman must tolerate abuse for the sake of family integrity persisted, creating a barrier for survivors seeking help.
Despite LIFE’s ongoing community engagement, many Nigerians still view gender-based violence as a “private family matter” rather than a criminal offense. “We had to take a step back,” Mokwe said. “We realized there are still people who don’t know GBV is a crime punishable under the law.”
LIFE is currently executing three major projects, two of which focus on tackling GBV and a third targeting maternal mortality linked to unsafe abortions. The projects is supported by Amplify and the African Women’s Development Fund (AWDF) — aim not only to raise awareness, but also to provide tangible support such as legal aid, healthcare, and emergency shelter for survivors.
“Sensitization isn’t enough,” Mokwe emphasized. “We need to provide real-time responses, ensure justice is served, and offer protection for those at risk. And we must keep doing it until the system changes.”
The third project addresses the often-silenced issue of unsafe abortions, advocating for better reproductive health education and services for women and girls in underserved areas.
Mokwe noted that LIFE has addressed critical issues such as Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), Gender-Based Violence (GBV), and maternal morbidity—particularly those resulting from unsafe abortions. She explained that limited awareness in remote communities has left many residents unaware of their legal rights, prompting LIFE to launch targeted sensitization programs focused on laws governing GBV and access to justice.
Sharing a real-life incident, she recounted the case of a woman who was severely assaulted by her husband. Despite reporting the incident, law enforcement ignored her plea, and her community ostracized her. It wasn’t until LIFE intervened that justice was finally pursued. “This underscores the urgent need for our ‘Know Your Rights’ and ‘Do Not Die in Silence’ campaigns,” Mokwe stated.
On the issue of maternal morbidity, she highlighted that Nigeria ranks among the countries with the highest rates of unsafe abortions, largely driven by unwanted pregnancies. Mokwe referenced a doctor’s report detailing over 200 annual cases of organ damage caused by unsafe abortion procedures. One particularly harrowing case involved a Junior Secondary School student who, with help from her peers, attempted to terminate a pregnancy using dangerous concoctions. The consequences were devastating—the girl lost her womb.
For LIFE’s executive director, Abiodun Rufus-Unegbu, the incident is emblematic of a broader societal problem. “The landlord, the police, the silent bystanders — they’re all part of the problem,” She said. “We often focus on the abuser, but the real danger is the network of enablers that allow the abuse to continue unchecked.”
While LIFE has made commendable strides,at the media briefing they made it clear that the road ahead remains steep. “We need more than awareness,” said Rufus-Unegbu. “We need enforcement. We need compassion. And above all, we need systemic accountability.”
Rufus-Unegbu also commented on the organization’s efforts. She confirmed that thousands of individuals have been reached through community sensitization programs, particularly on unsafe abortions and sexuality education. “We urge parents to build open, honest relationships with their children,” she said. “Rather than allowing religious or cultural sentiments to foster silence, parents should offer accurate and compassionate guidance on sexual health.”
She emphasized the importance of educating teenagers about their menstrual cycle, the consequences of sexual activity, and the impact of peer pressure. “If parents fail to educate their children, the internet will—and what it teaches may conflict with family values,” she warned. “Our youth need ongoing support to make informed decisions.”
Speaking on GBV, Rufus-Unegbu shared how LIFE has made notable progress in grassroots communities such as Isolo, Ejigbo, and Oshodi. The organization has partnered with local support groups and introduced mental health services for survivors. “The justice system in Nigeria does not serve everyone equally,” she noted. “That’s why LIFE steps in to bridge the gap, ensuring survivors receive both justice and healing.”
Laura Moore, LIFE’s Crisis Care Coordinator, plays a crucial role in this healing process. She oversees the psychosocial support provided to survivors, helping them manage trauma while awaiting legal resolution. “We created a calming, safe environment—the ‘cooling-off room’—for vulnerable women,” Moore explained. “It has become a sanctuary for many, and I’m committed to supporting survivors from across the country.”
Over the past 32 months, LIFE has demonstrated that lasting change begins with education, empathy, and empowerment. Through bold advocacy and compassionate care, the organization continues to reshape the narrative for vulnerable women and girls—giving them not just a voice, but the strength and courage to use it.