See where lies, deceit, guile, et al landed us! We wish these eerie characters never crossed our path. Sadly, they did. They are still holding sway, calling their unpleasant shots.
We have them in reckless abundance in this hostile regime. We have become their caged victims. They prey on us with utter wickedness, giving us unending distress. They are a queer species in human skin.
There is no place to hide. They can’t remain the same again. Peace has eluded them. They continue to be restless and restive. The reason they run their mouth profusely. They find it extremely difficult to hold their tongues.
They have long thrown decency into the gutter. We earnestly need to go back to the archives. We should relive our lost memories. We forget things so soon in this country. That makes us easily gullible.
Let’s go down memory lane, even for once. You will marvel at what these politicians told us in the past. How they had derided one another. And stabbed each other in the back.
Then you will realise how shameful and deadly they are. They are forever suspicious of one another. They watch their shadows. No option than to dread them. They are better isolated for the good of us all.
This duo is it: Lai Mohammed, Minister of Information, and Nasir El-Rufai, Governor, Kaduna State. They took the better part of our time these past weeks. They fiercely competed for our crowded space.
They did it with all the strength they could crudely muster. They kept themselves busy for the wrong reason. They expended energy on what ought to be done long ago.
They were crying over spilled milk; lamenting over things that cannot be altered. El-Rufai was particularly upset over situations made hopeless by actions and inactions of this government.
Trust Lai, he would always be in his usual element. He has his template, he didn’t disappoint. He came out strongly to do what he knows how to do the best.
It was a Monday in Abuja, at a press briefing. His mission was never in doubt. He was to deodorise the government he feigns to love so dearly. He strived hard to disinfect President Muhammadu Buhari’s administration.
He swore to high heavens Nigeria has never had so rosy, so fulfilling. He arrogantly insisted, we have never been this safe. And because this comes from Lai, he is absolutely right in his own odd reckoning and reputation.
He sees beyond his nose. He sees what the rest of us can never ever see. Give it to him, he’s the only jack of all lies and master of them all. His skewed and distorted reasoning is appalling.
See how safe we are in the eyes of Lai. In fact, Nigeria is safer now than any other time in our troubled history. He beat his chest and vomited:
“We are proud that, in our time, Nigerians are once again able to travel by rail, this time in total comfort and safety. Lagos-Ibadan, Abuja-Kaduna, Warri-Itakpe-Ajaokuta and Abuja Metroline are shining examples of our rail revolution. And we are just getting started.”
This infuriated the terrorists the more. Unknown to him, terrorists were on his trail, watching his warped lips. Immediately Lai was done, terrorists did him in.
That same night they struck like never before. They were so daring. They blew up the rail line, derailing Abuja-Kaduna train. That put a big lie to Lai’s fake claims.
Lai’s nerves collapsed on him. And the remaining steam in him disappeared. He lost his voice in the process. He is yet to recover.
El-Rufai was dumbfounded. He could not believe his ears. Lai’s utterances rattled him. It greatly compounded his frustration.
And he honestly poured out his heart. The Kaduna train attack brought the best out of him. He visibly displayed his frustration. He cared less whose ox was gored or brutally bruised.
He roared three days after: “I am angry, frustrated and feel totally helpless. We have enough intelligence for us to take action. The Air Force undertakes enough ISR (intelligence, surveillance and reconnaissance); and the DSS has informants all over the place.
“We know what they (terrorists) are planning. We get the reports. The problem is for the agencies to take action. Don’t wait until they attack before you respond. The army should go after their enclaves to wipe them out. Let the air force bomb them.”
He exploded the more: “Before, they were categorised as bandits and if you bombed them, you would have issues with human rights organisations and international criminal courts and so on. But now that they have been declared terrorists by the court, they can be legally killed without any consequences from international human rights organisations.”
This governor appeared serious this time around. He shut politics out of it. The stark reality: “We know where their camps are, we know where they are; the SSS have their phone numbers, they listen to them, and they give me the report. We know what they are planning. We shouldn’t be waiting for them to attack. Why can’t we go after them?”
He wondered aloud. These terrorists should not be given breathing space. We ought to take the battle to them. That is the expected. Not the other way round.
El-Rufai would not be discouraged. He was emphatic: “We are in a state of war; this place should be declared a war zone. Will there be innocent casualties? Yes! In every war situation, there are casualties.”
This governor won’t stop boiling. He remained agitated: “We have written to the Nigerian Railway Corporation twice to stop the evening service. The last train from Kaduna to Abuja should leave by 4pm so that it will get to Abuja in daylight. If anything is to happen, the response time will be quick.”
When El-Rufai reached the climax, he headed to Abuja. He’s thirsty for mercenaries badly: “Why is it that, up till now, the security has not gone to kill them? That is why I have come to see Mr President.
“If actions are not taken, it becomes a must for us as governors to take measures to protect our citizens, even if it means we will import mercenaries from outside the country to do it. If our soldiers fail, I swear to God, we will do that.”
This comment is apt and instructive. It was picked from social media: “He (El-Rufai) is good to go. They hired electoral mercenaries into Nigeria for 2015 elections. They can still hire military mercenaries to perpetuate beyond 2023.”
Kaduna has a special military status. The state hosts the highest number of military installations. It is equally the seat of the highest military formation, Nigerian Defence Academy (NDA).
Yet, the state is proud to be the latest epicentre of terrorism, banditry, kidnapping, in Nigeria. In this our clime, the more you look, the less you see.
You now understand why El-Rufai is practically angry with everybody. He was short of calling Buhari incompetent. But he is coming behind schedule. The so-called patriotism in him did not see things this way before. Neither did he speak like this in 2015. That was when they wanted ex-President Goodluck Jonathan out by all means. He is the same El-Rufai who accused Jonathan of incompetence.
The same pattern he used in 2015 is exactly what he is using now. He called Jonathan unprintable names then. He dared not toy with Buhari.
He directed his fury precisely at Jonathan. Today, he has lost his steam and guts. He could not do the same to Buhari. He keeps on fuming and ranting in the wrong direction.
We have worst insecurity scenario today than in 2015. But El-Rufai’s courage failed him. He could not accuse Buhari of incompetence for the obvious reason(s).
Jonathan is a southerner and not Fulani. Buhari and El-Rufai are co-northerners and co-Fulani. It makes the biggest difference. Buhari and El-Rufai are in the same boat of APC. That seals it.
The reason the evils that men do are impatient. They can longer wait to live after them. They are living with them, hunting, haunting and hurting them.
They asked for it. And they are getting it in good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.