Morenike has been engaged to Jide for five years and each time she comes up with the wedding plans he would give reasons why they shouldn’t get married yet. Year in, year out, it is the same story of how he doesn’t have enough funds to wed her. Meanwhile, Jide has a good job. Everyone has been asking Jide why he proposed, knowing full well that he wasn’t ready to wed. Instead, he keeps coming up with one flimsy excuse or the other. Morenike will be 32 next year.
For 28-year-old Susan, she can’t tell if she is in a relationship with Chidi or not. She knows she is in love with Chidi but she is not sure of Chidi’s intentions. He acts like he is her boyfriend but whenever she asks him to define what they have, he laughs it off and tells her they are best of friends. Susan’s friends think Chidi is pushing away her suitors because they all assume that she is in a serious relationship. However, Susan thinks that one day Chidi will fall in love with her and marry her.
In these two scenarios, these men are the typical time wasters; the kind of men who have ways of warming into the hearts of their women. They have the charms and right words. They keep their women captivated even though they know they have no intention of getting into something serious. These men are like predators; they tell you they want you but all their mannerisms suggest otherwise. One minute they are all over you, the next minute they have disappeared and then they reappear again with a cock and bull story.
Hello gorgeous girls! If you think your man falls into any of these categories, please make sure you end the relationship today. Don’t carry this over into 2018. Even if you are engaged to him, it doesn’t mean anything. If a man makes a proposal of marriage and doesn’t marry you within a year or two, please take a long walk. I only extended the time to two years because of the economic situation in the country, if not the standard time frame after an engagement should be six months. I have said it times without number here that, long courtship should be left for teenagers and ladies in their early twenties. As soon as you clock 25, you have no business staying long in a relationship. In six months you should be able to tell if a guy will walk you down the aisle or not. If you find out otherwise then, leave him and move on. Stop wallowing in self-pity, pick up yourself and then let the search continue.
From the experiences of others, I have learnt that these guys never intend having a relationship with you, they only want you to hang on and lead you on for so long until it becomes difficult to walk away. These men are an obstruction to your happiness and finding the right person. Time wasters do nothing more than waste valuable time you could use in a progressing and potential relationship with someone else. If you still don’t have a clue about that guy you are dating now, here are signs you can watch out for.
First and foremost, if you are dating a guy and you don’t know his likes, dislikes or what he does when you two are not together, then you are in a superficial relationship. I understand that love sometimes beclouds one’s reasoning and makes you forget to ask questions. But, this is a wakeup call now, if you have been dating a guy for three months and you don’t know where he lives, then that’s a red flag.
If you are in a relationship with a guy and he has not introduced you to any member of his family then he is not the one for you. If he keeps coming up with one flimsy excuse or the other so that you won’t meet his family members then he is a time waster.
A guy who tells you he doesn’t know what he feels for you each time you ask him if he loves you is a time waster. Why would you even invest emotionally in someone who tells you he is not sure about a future with you? How do you stay with such person? What value is he bringing to the table? Is your relationship with him just about how well he can tweak your clitoris? Oh girlfriend! In 2018 push him out of your life.
Is your boyfriend a broke ass? If yes, then you need to be honest with yourself about this. Although, I believe in equality in a relationship and I think both parties should always do what they feel comfortable with on bills. I am of the school of thought that if you are in a relationship no one should be parasitic even if you are the woman. So, if you are courting a guy who is always telling you he is short of cash every time, Sis, believe me, this guy is not dating you, he is only using you. Dump this broke ass and find someone better.
Girls, you are all grown women. If a guy tells you he loves you and still cheats on you, dump him. If a guy can’t stay exclusive to you while in courtship, he will do worse when you are married. Forget that crap that all men cheat; there are good men who are faithful and so go find that kind of man. In this coming year don’t let a guy lead you on and tell you how much he cares for you while he is dating or married to someone else. Let me share a story: a young lady got tired of her boyfriend’s choices of hangouts. So, she decided to spring a surprise. She told the boyfriend they would meet up at a fancy restaurant on the Island. After she had made the reservations and informed her boyfriend, he became furious. He said he didn’t like the place. His girlfriend was shocked at this and decided to do a background check on him. She found out that her boyfriend was already MARRIED and his wife worked close to that fancy restaurant. She had been with him for over a year and she didn’t know she was the side chic.
We are in the social media times and I think taking a look at his social media pages once in a while can tell a different story about that guy in your life. If you are with a guy who loves to show off expensive drinks and post pictures of trashy women then you are probably with a Mr Time waster. What are you even doing with a guy who is obsessed with his image?
Another category of super-duper time waster, are guys who are in their thirties and are still terrified of commitment. For crying out loud, he is no longer a teenager, so what is he afraid of? If you are with this kind of guy, go get your freaking life together and show him the door.
And I won’t forget to mention the super cute casanova guy everyone is drooling over; you think you are the lucky one because he chose you? Even though you know there is no future in it, but you still go ahead. Aunty! How old will you be in 2018? At your age, you are still living in an icy castle? Leave that to teenagers and face your reality. Mr. Fine Boy, No Pimples is not your reality because he is the worst of them all. No matter how hard you pray or the many vigils you take his picture to, that won’t make him change his mind. Do yourself a favour and drop this lie you are living before you get hurt.
A time waster is of no value to you, so stop making excuses for a selfish person. A time waster is only interested in what he can gain and enjoy from you. Stop chasing after people, who don’t love you. Even if you made the chase and succeeded, it is very likely that this person won’t respect you.
Dear singles, you should know that you are made of gold, love yourself and you will attract the right person. No one can make you happy; you are the only one with the key to your happiness. When you are excited about life, you will realize being alone and happy is better than being with someone who will make you feel inadequate and miserable.
Staying single for a while is not a bad thing, get focused on you, get a new degree, change jobs or go lose weight. Do something different, be your own Pretty Princess and stop waiting for a knight in shining armour to come rescue you! Save yourself!
So, if a guy is not making you his priority, you have no business making him one. He doesn’t deserve you, no matter how great the sex is with him, if he is not smitten by you, the sex won’t make him change his mind. So stop giving yourself cheaply to someone who doesn’t take you seriously enough for a lasting relationship. The year 2018, should be your year of getting out of a deadend relationship. Happy New Year everyone!