Dear Doc Bibbi,
I am a regular reader of your column and I noticed that often times, apart from giving medical advice, you delve into counseling in the area of relationships. This is why I have decided to write to you.
I am a female and fair in complexion. I have a working career and I will be 33 this year but I am still single. This is what is giving me a lot of worry. For the past two years I have not been into any relationship; it’s like guys are not interested in me.
I am a very serious Christian and a bit reserved. From Monday – Friday I go to work. On Saturdays, I rest and Sunday is church. This is how my every week goes day in, day out. I am a born-again Christian, who will not like to compromise my Christian standards (especially in the area of sex). The few guys that have shown interest end up asking for sex, which I would not condone before marriage. This always makes the relationship to end.
Doctor, does it mean there is no good Christian man out there and must I compromise my faith to settle down? I pray a lot and believe God will answer my prayer, but I am becoming worried, as I want to settle down this year. What do you advice?
– Charlotte
I’m desperate to get my own husband!
Sir, I read your column where you said you could help connect a lady. I’m desperate in getting a husband for now because I have become a mocking stock in my environment due to the fact that I am single.
I will be happy if you could help me to get over this problem. By October, I will be 31 years of age. I am a devoted Christian and Yoruba from Osun State currently working at Abuja. I have an OND in Accounting and I’m a black beauty.
In the school, I was heavily involved in religious activities. I am the first-born, yet there’s no man I can call my own. I will be very happy if urgent attention can be given to me.
– Omodunbi
Dear ladies,
Faithful marriage reduces all kinds of diseases, not the least, the Sexually Transmitted ones; so this is an area we not only love to tackle but one that is germane to medical and welfare issues. There are many areas of the life and well–being of a human. Just like there are issues of the body, there are issues of the mind. Issues of the spirit are another domains entirely.
Relationships are one major facet of every human life too; just like circumstances, property, finances, destiny and aspirations. Any and all of these areas can be sick and need attention, care, healing and cure. since all humans are very familiar with the bodily issues, as in disease, we note so many examples of healing in human history and writings. So, a persons’ relational life can be sick and, if you don’t mind, that is what both you ladies are experiencing. Not only women but also men can also need help in this area.
We help sort out both men and women in this area as Life Coach to them and you can register for our next seminar by sending an email to [email protected]. Title your email: “I’m interested to marry” or “Reserve my seat” and include your contact details in your email so that we can reach you with further information.
Do not worry about religious beliefs; God is for everybody. The causes and cure for situations like yours are available to all our attendees and followers, whether you are young or old, single, divorced or widowed.
I hope I’m not going mad?
Please Sir,
I am a secondary school leaver. Right from my secondary school days, I have been experiencing this problem. The problem is this, whenever I talk to a person, address a congregation or had an encounter with somebody, I am always nervous and after that I cannot write as a result of the nervousness.
Last year, I visited a doctor and he told me that it is palpitation, which will stop soon; but I have been waiting patiently for it to stop to no avail. I am not comfortable with this; so I need a way out of this mess.
I hope I’m not going mad or something?
– Sulaiman Afikuyomi, Ilorin
Dear Sulaiman,
Such nerves as you complain of usually have a discernible origin, which a skilled doctor/psychologist/psychotherapist//psychiatrist can help you ferret out. These roots/origins are usually some conflict or the other at the base of your mind or emotions. Are there any hidden worries or anxieties or guilt or tension? These are the kinds of questions he will be looking for answers to.
Then he can tackle it. The condition is referred to as an anxiety neurosis, almost bordering on a phobia. What to do? Go seek out a professional who understands the mind – like the ones above. Where to find them? Try general hospitals, specialist hospitals; teaching hospitals. You can be treated. Help is available.
Madness? Oh no!! Truly, when we talk mind and psychiatry, most people think madness. Psychologists, psychotherapists and psychiatrists are not always treating madness; okay? There are much simpler, milder and harmless problems of the mind called neuroses that we all can suffer from – like Depression – and they are really skilled in helping out with such concerns. Madness is another kettle of tea and I daresay your fears must be properly laid to rest by telling you there are the tell-tale features of madness, which you do not have but which I list here just to help anyone with fears similar to yours to sort themselves out. When a person is going mad you begin to notice other symptoms apart from the ones you mentioned – things that affect the person’s character especially: character changes, like) Coldness vs normal warmth; b) Concern gone; c) May hear voices; d) Sleeplessness; e) Mannerisms and habits have changed – won’t do some things they are normally very fond of; f) Violence; g) May see or hear things others do not see; h) Mood changes – may be too joyful or too depressed for normal; i) Withdrawal; j) Verbal attacks and negative words and curses on people; k) Wanting to undress in public; l) Hallucinations; m) Jumpiness and fear; n) Aggressiveness; o) Incorrigible-ness; p) Irritability–q) Fights easily; r) Paranoia – or a feeling; frequently expressed – that normally harmless things or people want to harm the patient; s) Quarrelsomeness – Quarrels with everyone and everything –fights her relatives; attacks driver; uses a knife or other harmful instruments to threaten; suddenly tears others’ clothing; t) Denial of reality; u) Anger, or wrath — as in great anger; v) Violence; and so on.