My colleagues and I were invited to a meeting, which was wrapped up with a buffet dinner in Victoria Island, Lagos. We all had a good time with our host. By the time we were set to leave, it was far past 9.00 pm.
Still revelling in the conviviality of the moment, after being well fed with choice foods and drinks, we stepped out of the restaurant to hop into our cars. Just then, a black painted Uber car pulled up and two very smart girls in nude outfits alighted from the back. The attention of everyone outside focused on the two young girls as they boldly walked towards the reception. One of them brought out her Android phone, probably to call their host. Upon sighting them and assessing what was unfolding before me, the good-mother in me rebelled and rumbled. I told my colleagues I would go over to speak with the girls. Two of my colleagues tried to discourage me. One of them said, “Do not go, they will insult you o. They are GenZ girls, who have no respect for seniors.” Unable to ignore the tremor of revulsion that I felt inside, I walked up to them.
‘Hello beautiful young ladies. I like your hair,’ I said, and they replied, ‘Thank you, Ma.’ We exchanged pleasantries and I asked about their hair-do and wanted to know the place they made it, so I could go there and get my hair done beautifully like theirs. This friendly approach somewhat put them at ease. Gently, I asked for their names, and learnt that one was Maryam and the other, Florence.
Instinctively, I knew from their intonation that those were not their real names. Looking at their very young bodies that were about to be devoured and ravaged, and possibly rough-handled in a sexcapade with a man or men, filled me with deep concern and I went into full blast mother mode. “Young girls, I know you are students who have come out to have fun for the night. Well, I am standing in for your mothers, who I know if they should see you girls here at this particular time of the day, they will be highly disappointed. Whoever invited you here tonight does not mean well for you. He can never love you more than your mothers. For the sake of your mothers, kindly turn down this offer and go back to your school. Does that old married man deserve your fresh bodies? He can only offer you just a stipend from his deep pocket, to have sex with you and expose you fully to danger. You might get infected with a terrible disease, get involved in an accident and die while either coming here or going home after being with him or the men. You could even be killed for money ritual. This restaurant might go up in flames and consume you. A fight could break out and you would be severely injured. Just about any bad thing can happen. Anything and everything are possible in life,” I said, earnestly hoping my words would sink in.
The girls looked at themselves, but were speechless. All three us, the girls and myself stood transfixed and silent after I made my speech. I knew their minds must have been wondering where this spoiler or preacher came out from. “Who sent her to us now?”
It appeared that I had convinced them and I heard them chorus, “Thank you, Ma.” With their consent, we booked a Bolt driver to take them home, towards Yaba. They waved at me and then left.
I felt good that I had “spoilt show for the men” and prevented a devil-driven raunchy sex party, organised by predatory men who had invited them to eat unnecessarily expensive non-fantastic or delicious food; engage in threesome sex, get paid and then return to school, as if nothing happened.
Interestingly, most people do not know the effect of five minutes, careless unprotected sex. Both for the man and the woman, it is not healthy to engage in such careless unprotected sex and call it fun because when the bubble bursts, it stretches its hands and legs like an octopus. The outcome of it is headache. Pure and simple.
Now, a popular, global Nigerian music maestro and his baby mama have been feeding netizens on social media with details of their dirty fight over the custody of the daughter that resulted from their sexual exploration of yesteryears. Both the celebrity and the Baby Mama are in this because of five minutes reckless sex. Agreed, they were young back then and got horny which led to intercourse. Music star became a father at 21 while the Baby Mama was 24. When they were enjoying the oil-rig exploration that night, their friends and family were not in the picture. Today, the private ‘night-for-two’ has become a public matter which is extensively being discussed on social media, the mainstream media and in court now. The innocent little daughter has also been dragged into seedy revelations from claims and counterclaims that have continued to grab newspaper headlines. The moment individuals learnt that the internet does not forget and forgive, many people became more careful in posting some things online. One day their daughter would read all the uncomplimentary things published online and not be proud of her parents. Her young classmates would also read and be part of the discussion. Children who were not present when the two laid skin-to-skin would be judges. Truly, five minutes reckless sex hurts deeply.
Interestingly, so many beautiful homes have been ruined through five minutes careless sex with a sidechick. Even if pregnancy is not involved, sexually transmitted diseases are possibilities. Young, handsome Emeka was a hunk and ladies’ man. He was the head apprentice of his master, who was a major importer of goods. One day, his master’s wife developed a crush for him. In no time, Emeka began to give Madam fantastic massage. Then he took ill and laboratory investigation showed that he was HIV positive. When Madam saw the drugs he was taking and asked questions, he confessed that he had been on HIV drugs before they started sleeping together. The shock of the discovery broke her heart. An Igbo adage says that a man who brought home ant-infested firewood invited the lizards to lunch. By the time Madam found out about Emeka’s HIV status, she had already passed the infection to her husband. All three became HIV positive. In no time, Oga who was a bit older with poor immunity died first, followed closely by Madam and Emeka joined them one year later. A whole family perished because of reckless five minutes sex.
Another music star from Benue State has become a popular ‘Baby Papa’ who is linked to several women because of the adventures of his third leg. Whenever news breaks around them, the headline would be his name joined with his baby mama. How these ladies feel with such title is a story for another day.
Today, so many men and women are regretting sexual fascinations of the days of their youth. Some would wish the hand of clock could be turned back. They wish they had been more cautious as young people. When the Spiritual Director of Zion Ministeries, Evangelist Ebuka Obi, teaches members about the religious dangers of abortion, which emanates from careless sexual activities, he hits it so hard and leads the ladies in the congregation to do repentance prayer for the abortions they had committed. On a certain day, I discreetly looked around as the prayer was going on and saw that many lips were silently moving along with the prayers. The evangelist does so to deliver the ladies from the curse of abortion blood. He uses the opportunity to warn the younger generation to desist from sexual sin that leads to unwanted pregnancies and thereby prompts the need for abortion.
Reckless five minutes sex does not happen between married men and women only. Unmarried adults are heavy partakers in this. Students are also chief culprits. Students who live outside the campus can live with their male and female partners as married couples, and intercourse becomes a regular affair. To them, it is enjoyment, but studies have shown that this has mental health consequences such as anxiety, sadness, feeling bad about oneself, regret, depression and poor self-esteem. Reckless, careless sex usually does not give a prominent promise. Most of them have marriage in mind, so they jump into marriage harvest before the planting season.
Truth be told, five minutes sex has never brought peace and love; instead it brings everlasting headache. In a neighbouring state, careless sex led to the birth of two years Odunayo. The parents were not married. They had frequent issues over parenting and welfare of the child. On a fateful day, Odunayo’s mother hit her head on the wall and this caused her death.
A distant friend once confessed how her young male neighbours sexually feasted on her whenever her mother went to the market for early morning purchases. The result of her mother’s carelessness was a bouncing baby boy in the 90s. She did not know the biological father of her son because of the several different partners that had ‘visited’ in those early mornings.
Dearest people, know it that reckless five minutes sex has never and will never produce good fruits. Mothers who nurse such babies do it with shame. With discipline, a sense of self worth and focus, a person can control and avoid the temptation to engage in reckless five minutes sex. Knowing the inherent dangers both men and women can say ‘No deal’ to the urge to roll in the hay.