Dear njigirl,
my boyfriend broke up with me because I uploaded another guy’s picture wishing him happy birthday and saying I still love you. I told him the guy was asking me out but I refused to date the guy. So my boyfriend was accusing me of dating the guy.
He asked me if am guilty I said no. So he sent a message saying since I said that I was not guilty then he has to quit the relationship. Later I apologized to him but he is too full of himself. He is proud.
Hello
Let me get this straight, you uploaded a man’s photo on your Facebook page and wished him a happy birthday. You didn’t just stop there but told the man that you still love him and then expect your boyfriend not to get mad. Wouldn’t you get mad if he told another girl the same and then also had the girl’s picture on his Facebook page to look at and wish–?
Do you or do you not love the guy? Is he or is he not an ex-boyfriend? Do you or do you not miss him hence you have his photo to look at?
Well, what do you want your boyfriend to think? He wanted you to apologize and you refused yet you turn around and call him arrogant? Who is the arrogant one here? Why did you not just apologize and then try to convince him that the guy is just an acquaintance and that you say, “I still love you” to all your friends but that it is not the same type of love that you have for him? Maybe he will believe you.
ν Dr. NJ
Dear njigirl,
I organized a surprise party for my husband and asked his best friend, Steve, to help me to make it very lively and fun. Well, his idea of fun and lively was to invite my husband’s ex-girlfriend, Cheryl, who is still very hung up over him.
The party was very nice but her presence made my husband very jittery and I could not tell if he was having fun. As a matter of fact, I noticed that he avoided her like a plague, but I cannot help but wonder if they are still seeing each other. Since that party every time I mention Cheryl he says to forget about that woman and gets a bit defensive. Am I going over my head?
ν Prisca
Dear prisca,
First off, Steve was wrong to invite your husband’s ex to a party thrown by his wife. Steve is either very mischievous or probably aware of something between them and wanted to “finalize” it once and for all. But he forgot that he might be hurting you. In fact his behavior was like that of a child who does not weigh the entire options before making a decision. You may ask: what does Steve know? Well we can speculate that he knows that your husband may still be nursing some feelings for Cheryl and does not like that. So he invited Cheryl so that his buddy (your husband) can finally see how gorgeous you are and stop drooling over Cheryl. Far fetched? Ok, how about this scenario: Steve can’t stand your guts and wanted gorgeous looking Cheryl to come to the party and unravel your nerves. Let’s try one more: Steve is just a sick guy who likes to see two gorgeous women fight over a man.
Okay, the point is for you to see that Steve was out of line but didn’t really mean harm. Why not look at the fact that you all still had a great party and nobody had a brawl in there. Forget about Cheryl and enjoy your husband.
ν Dr. NJ