• Fathers abandoning families as hardship digs deeper
From Abel Leonard, Lafia
The soaring cost of food in the markets and Nigeria’s deepening economic woes have left a trail of hardship, pain and despair in Nasarawa State. Staying afloat in the face of the choking experiences has been very difficult for residents, rich and poor.
One of the segments of society that shoulders a larger portion of the brunt is the family institution. Families are crashing as divorce takes the centre stage.
A new wave of divorce manifesting in the state is the situation where husbands dump their wives and children and disappear into thin air, following the inability to fend for them.
One of such divorce cases occurred at Ombi 2, near the College of Agriculture, Lafia. There, a woman who simply gave her name as Anna, was lonely and disturbed. She has not seen her better half for five months: “It’s been five months now and he hasn’t returned. Over these months, we have kept the doors open, hoping that he would one day walk back home. But we are still waiting and the months are counting.
“I have called his family members and they have joined me in the search for their son, but till date no one knows his whereabouts. I have reached out to his friends, but the same story was what I got. And he was not arrested by the police or traced to the mortuary. We have been to all of these places and did not find a trace of him anywhere.
“How am I going to take care of our four children in this period of hardship? I alone burdened to cater for their needs? How? Where? I’m absolutely frustrated and tired. He used to provide for us with the little he had, but now we have nothing, nobody to provide for us.”
Rebecca Daniel’s husband has also turned his back on she and her children. He has gone with the wind. She is a trader and mother of five residing with her children on Abuja Street, Lafia.
She lost her husband “just like that,” when he left for work in the morning and never returned: “For seven months, my husband has been gone without a trace. We’ve searched everywhere and asked family members, but there’s no news. It’s a nightmare.”
Jacob Ajegana Kudu, member representing Nasarawa Eggon East Constituency, regretted that: “It is saddening to see such situations in our midst and in our state.
“Even as an Assembly member, the pressure from family members, friends and well-wishers who are asking for different support is overwhelming. I am not surprised some husbands are leaving their families due to hardship. It is deeply troubling and worrisome.”
Benjamin Kudu, a human rights lawyer, said: “Over the past year, I’ve handled more than 100 divorce cases. This is sad for the society.
“Just in the last two weeks, I’ve dealt with 30 new cases. Breadwinners can’t meet their responsibilities. Many families are suffering.”
Paul Chris Marshin, general overseer, Treasured House Assembly, Lafia, said: “In the Bible, there were times of great famine when families sold their children or turned to desperate measures to survive.
“Even in these tough times, husbands must not abandon and did not abandon their responsibilities. Running away doesn’t solve the problem, it only worsens it.”
One of the husbands, who opted for divorce on the grounds of the present economic hardship spoke to Daily Sun but declined to have his name or picture in print:
“I left because I couldn’t provide for my wife and four children anymore. It’s something that broke me for years and honestly I have been unable to reconcile myself with my action.
“I used to do well in Lafia, selling clothes and accessories, but for two years, my business failed. I couldn’t pay the rent for my shop. It was too much, so I left.
“The truth is that my wife wasn’t patient with me at all. She kept pressurising me for money. It nearly drove me mad because I had no such money at that time. I had no choice, but to file for divorce. When she didn’t respond, I just ran away.”
Will he return home: “Only time will tell. For now, I’m hustling in the southern part of the country, trying to survive.”
Dr. Abdulakareem Alhassan, director, General Studies, Federal University, Lafia, told Daily Sun: “Economic hardship is a major stress on relationships. It not only creates financial strain, but also affects mental health, leading to breakdown in communication and trust.”
Reverend Emmanuel Adebayo of Faith Hill Foundation, Lafia, emphasised the role of faith-based organisations in reversing this trend: “We provide counselling and basic support for struggling families. This is the time for communities to come together and help one another.”